how does one tell their mrs

[Harry Angstrom]

It's great isn't it!?

On her. Those curves are sublime.

 

[a1970man]

I was lucky that the doctor brought it up during a routine health check.

Mentioned high blood pressure related to her weight gain since her last checkup.
She came out extremely mad and ranted about the doctor basically calling her fat.

Any hoo, after about 5 minutes she stopped and ask if I thought she was fat. (Looking for a "Yes" to target more yelling at).

I said "What dress size are you now" .... she replied
"What dress size were you last year" ... she replied
"Is this year higher than last year" I said, to which she had to agree.

So, I told her that we'd both put on a bit over the last year or so we'll cut out the crap, eat healthy and go back to the gym.

 

[cornish mackem]

Suggest you like it when she’s carrying extra timber because her lotties are bigger. It’s like a back handed compliment

 

[black cat in france]

Suggest you like it when she’s carrying extra timber because her lotties are bigger. It’s like a back handed compliment

Innocently ask 'are you losing weight'? when she replies'no', you come back with 'well you should be fatty'.

 

[BigPete]

I was lucky that the doctor brought it up during a routine health check.

Mentioned high blood pressure related to her weight gain since her last checkup.
She came out extremely mad and ranted about the doctor basically calling her fat.

Any hoo, after about 5 minutes she stopped and ask if I thought she was fat. (Looking for a "Yes" to target more yelling at).

I said "What dress size are you now" .... she replied
"What dress size were you last year" ... she replied
"Is this year higher than last year" I said, to which she had to agree.

So, I told her that we'd both put on a bit over the last year or so we'll cut out the crap, eat healthy and go back to the gym.

What size?

Pics?

 

[Nig]

Take her to the beach and pay some Greenpeace activists to pop down and attempt to push her into the sea.

 

[a1970man]

What size?

Pics?

No and No

 

[Summer Bee]

Take her to the beach and pay some Greenpeace activists to pop down and attempt to push her into the sea.

Brutal

 

[Lone Wolf]

Hire a private investigator to follow her around for a month, then post all the pictures of her eating through the letterbox with FAO the fat mess.

 

[b1gals]

You could be more sympathetic by letting her know about the new guaranteed weight-loss product available at good chemists stores from next week. Tell her you bought a pack... it’s applied as lipstick..... then yuck her a pack of Gorilla superglue.

 

[black cat in france]

Try this; every time you're going somewhere keep her hanging about for a bit, when you show up just say 'sorry about your wait'.She'll click on sooner or later.

 

[jaxaxe]

that's shes fat and needs to loose some weightand that she has let herself go...

asking for a friend.

It can't be easy for your friend's wife, stuck with a husband who clearly disapproves of her weight gain.

Your friend should encourage her to join a gym. She might meet someone who will offer her regular, high quality sex there, and she will lose the weight naturally.

 

[Cox Green Fc]

that's shes fat and needs to loose some weightand that she has let herself go...

asking for a friend.

Nothing wrong with telling someone they've put weight on imo. Woman/partner or not. Saying she's fat on the other hand maybe won't be the best idea .

 

[jaxaxe]

Just a thought, but unless someone else buys her clothes, don't you think that the OP's friend's wife is already going to be aware of her weight gain ?

 

[BigPete]

No and No

Just kidding mate

 

[MackneyHackem]

Write it in short crust pastry on the top of a pie.

 

[BigPete]

Write it in short crust pastry on the top of a pie.

Eat the pie leave the tin in with a picture in the bottom of her before she put on the pounds.

 

[Tommasi]

As an aside, I see more and more scratter couples comprising of massively fat women and normal sized lads. I know some lads are into that sort of thing but I think id rather just have a wank.

 

[rey mysterio]

that's shes fat and needs to loose some weightand that she has let herself go...

asking for a friend.

What I do is order a kebab and pizza and give her 4/6 slices. When she asks why I say “because you’re a big fat whale”

 

[MackneyHackem]

As an aside, I see more and more scratter couples comprising of massively fat women and normal sized lads. I know some lads are into that sort of thing but I think id rather just have a wank.

In my mind the lass is sporting unflattering sportswear such as yoga pants or leggings, and the lad is wearing velcro Lonsdale trainers.

Possibly bought at the same time in a joint shopping trip to Sports Direct.

Edit: they went to Greggs for their tea afterwards.