how does one tell their mrs



I would suggest to her that you should both start eating a bit more healthily , if you don’t need to lose any clem you can always ram loads of Greggs into you in secret
 
Dinnit say jack shit, just keep feeding her and feeding her, gradually getting more and more relentless till she ends up bedridden, then you can fuck off anywhere you want, bang a load of slags and she won't be able to chase after you
 
Play 'We'll Meet Again' on a continuous loop whilst singing the words 'Whale Meat Again' every time the chorus comes on.

I just tell mine that she looks as though she's getting auan (fat) which is enough for her to step on the scales and then quickly return to her normal 48.5 kilos. :D
 
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Anyone who allows themselves to get fat (but has no health problem causing it) has no personal pride in my books and shouldn't be surprised if their partner objects.
 
Napoleon Dynamite said:
Make retching noises when you see her with nowt on
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The tactile approach

First year of uni we use to endearingly call a girl Big Zoe. She seemed like she took it well for weeks before an almighty meltdown one night after which the name was shelved.

She didn't lose any weight mind and this has fuck all to do with the op.
 
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