funny club cricket stories from past years

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magcatcherhutch

magcatcherhutch

Midfield
over the years we have all met the real entertainers in our leagues the blokes who give us all a lift in the dressing rooms and bars .

who do you know, who can tell a true storey about the funny moments in our games over past years ..

i will start off with david greener this is one of dozons of funny moments with the big fellow ..

scotland tour 1997 aberfeldy in the highlands tea time challange match their team full of aussies - kiwis - a few jocks they batted first off 20 over 213 total greener went to fine leg he was all to hush for him not greener ..
then all of a sudden umpire stops game to say look over their lads only to see greener fully undressed nowt on at all jumping over a fence running onto aberfeldy golf course shouting midges midges everywhere a swarm of jock highland midges bit him to bits he could not take no more and ran to a water hole on the course well it was old ladies day and 4 old dears saw this big tubby geordie running around crazy they took it in great spirit .

as the game progressed we had a big target to knock off so me and greener opened for a change well this kiwi stormed in to greener and beamed him first ball it hit his head n went behind for 4 he walked up the wkd n said to me n the kiwi the midges are biting tonight with another lump on his nut well the kiwi lost ihis cool and bowled fast but eratic our team knocked the score off only just ..

as the day went on the word got around the village a few loonatics were around with a big chubby funny bloke who streaked on the golf course .
we went back to the bar afterwards the aberfeldy hotel normally dozon persons turn up but this night the whole village turned up only to see greener do a 2 hour turn he got 5 or 6 standing ovasions that night ..

we left at 1am for a 2 hour bus drive to st andrews driver duncan sober for once well we ended up lost on the banks of loch tay .

where norman smith went for a dump in the trees at 2am we found him at 4am miles down the single track road he sat next to his mate greener on bus stinking of crap where me n greener n sean smith in turn hoyed up through it out of bus windows but duncan the driver as well hoying up loosing his faulse teeth in turn .. iam sure you guys who know these people can put pictures to the storey ....

iam on a mission now last one lads ..

greener again along with his pal paul rico reach ,,

we played falkland palace big grudge match over the tour years they used to bring in local pros we had a tyne n wear mixed team from allover north east plus an aussie or two ..
well we turned up 3 hours early so ended up in local village pub on shandys ect bar greener n rico who as usual hit the beer .
as we went in at 11am everyone dressed in black a local girl had died and it was her wake ect so we offerd to leave out of respect ,, the owner new us from previos years up there he said no just go in beer garden its nee bother ,, so we did then later off up to ground ..

we played game stayed late but greener and rico said where not getting on bus waa staying here we will get taxi [ 60 ] miles so we left them ..

they got a taxi back just the driver greener rico the convisation went something like this ,,,, greener to taxi driver i we have had a cracking day playing cricket drinking laughing telling the driver jokes the driver was laughing back then greener said i it was a bit sad at first we gate crashed a wake at dinner time the driver replyrd i it was my wifes wake ..

not a word was said the rest of the jouney back ...

magcatcherhutch said:
over the years we have all met the real entertainers in our leagues the blokes who give us all a lift in the dressing rooms and bars .

who do you know, who can tell a true storey about the funny moments in our games over past years ..

i will start off with david greener this is one of dozons of funny moments with the big fellow ..

scotland tour 1997 aberfeldy in the highlands tea time challange match their team full of aussies - kiwis - a few jocks they batted first off 20 over 213 total greener went to fine leg he was all to hush for him not greener ..
then all of a sudden umpire stops game to say look over their lads only to see greener fully undressed nowt on at all jumping over a fence running onto aberfeldy golf course shouting midges midges everywhere a swarm of jock highland midges bit him to bits he could not take no more and ran to a water hole on the course well it was old ladies day and 4 old dears saw this big tubby geordie running around crazy they took it in great spirit .

as the game progressed we had a big target to knock off so me and greener opened for a change well this kiwi stormed in to greener and beamed him first ball it hit his head n went behind for 4 he walked up the wkd n said to me n the kiwi the midges are biting tonight with another lump on his nut well the kiwi lost ihis cool and bowled fast but eratic our team knocked the score off only just ..

as the day went on the word got around the village a few loonatics were around with a big chubby funny bloke who streaked on the golf course .
we went back to the bar afterwards the aberfeldy hotel normally dozon persons turn up but this night the whole village turned up only to see greener do a 2 hour turn he got 5 or 6 standing ovasions that night ..

we left at 1am for a 2 hour bus drive to st andrews driver duncan sober for once well we ended up lost on the banks of loch tay .

where norman smith went for a dump in the trees at 2am we found him at 4am miles down the single track road he sat next to his mate greener on bus stinking of crap where me n greener n sean smith in turn hoyed up through it out of bus windows but duncan the driver as well hoying up loosing his faulse teeth in turn .. iam sure you guys who know these people can put pictures to the storey ....

iam on a mission now last one lads ..

greener again along with his pal paul rico reach ,,

we played falkland palace big grudge match over the tour years they used to bring in local pros we had a tyne n wear mixed team from allover north east plus an aussie or two ..
well we turned up 3 hours early so ended up in local village pub on shandys ect bar greener n rico who as usual hit the beer .
as we went in at 11am everyone dressed in black a local girl had died and it was her wake ect so we offerd to leave out of respect ,, the owner new us from previos years up there he said no just go in beer garden its nee bother ,, so we did then later off up to ground ..

we played game stayed late but greener and rico said where not getting on bus waa staying here we will get taxi [ 60 ] miles so we left them ..

they got a taxi back just the driver greener rico the convisation went something like this ,,,, greener to taxi driver i we have had a cracking day playing cricket drinking laughing telling the driver jokes the driver was laughing back then greener said i it was a bit sad at first we gate crashed a wake at dinner time the drivers reply[ i it was my wifes wake] ..

not a word was said the rest of the jouney back ...
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sad but true
 


Greener use to play for Horden many years ago. Done the presentation once when I picked up a load of trophies playing for the under 15's. Must have been 23 years or so ago now. I feel old after typing that:lol:
 
I went on tour with the Fell to Birmingham when Ritchie Richardson was the pro. He came down but didnt intend to play. One of the lads was ill and we were due to play Sutton Coldfield. We asked their Captain if our mini bus driver could take his place. He said yes!!
120 runs later we told him that it was actually RBR
 
hutch said:
I went on tour with the Fell to Birmingham when Ritchie Richardson was the pro. He came down but didnt intend to play. One of the lads was ill and we were due to play Sutton Coldfield. We asked their Captain if our mini bus driver could take his place. He said yes!!
120 runs later we told him that it was actually RBR
Click to expand...

i remember that i was at north durham then and done the doors of tux 2 night club on occasions sat nights . his mate played with us a tennis player ..they turned up at the club one sat night i was on i got them free shamps and 1 hour later after another 2 bottles of free shamps every lass in the club were around them ..
then sum twat said get those black do daas out of my site ritchi wanted to leave we said no and this so called hard git n his mates had a running battle with 4 of us cops came he got knicked for assault on a doorman i got a black eye n ritchi never came back .. seen him few times after said he had never had that sort of stuff before in life ... what could i say back ....:roll:
 
Davie used to be the warm up act for a couple of Tyne Tees TV shows to get the audience in a good mood. Brilliant company. Everyone in Chester le Street knows him. Reachy is a canny lad as well.

My cricket story.

I used to live in Edinburgh and went to a Public School called George Heriots. The school didnt play football, only Rugby and Cricket. They had their own sports ground Goldenacre.

We used to go to Goldenacre every Thursday IIRC for outside sport and in the summer we played cricket. The bloke who used to teach us was a Scotsman who had played for England a couple of times in the 60's. Cant remember his name.

Anyway the first time we got him for cricket one of the lads was fielding and dropped a catch. The cry went up "give him the bucket" and someone duly brought out a bucket which the lad had to field with. It was pennance for dropping a catch. Needless to say very few catches were dropped. :lol:
 
Apologies for hijacking a stories thread but I'm really intrigued by North Durham CC. Being 26 and playing since the age of 7 I have only ever read or heard about them. Guessing they went to the wall but I'm just keen to find out a bit more about the story. Where they played, any notable players, pros etc, what happened to the club etc. looking on google on the old senior league site it offers very little but they seem to have been quite successful at one point.

Anyone fancy giving me a low down? Can be by PM if you want. Cheers
 
ac arundez said:
Apologies for hijacking a stories thread but I'm really intrigued by North Durham CC. Being 26 and playing since the age of 7 I have only ever read or heard about them. Guessing they went to the wall but I'm just keen to find out a bit more about the story. Where they played, any notable players, pros etc, what happened to the club etc. looking on google on the old senior league site it offers very little but they seem to have been quite successful at one point.

Anyone fancy giving me a low down? Can be by PM if you want. Cheers
Click to expand...

i started at north durham when i was 11 ish they played in the tyneside senior league then moved to durham senior until the end when the club went tits up ..

my best years were here i moved around after a fall out with strangey but thats just handbags huffs ect .

wish i never left them we could have hung in their but me hirshy acko sweeney mcarthy all went to other clubs and that was it we were to blame i suppose massive mistake .

the rugby v cricket issues did not help always falling out over ground state as long as i played their ..

we had our best years in the senior in my opinion 78 to 87 we were always down at the bottom but could beat the big boys on occasions .think about it

we could not afford helmets facing = lander wilki graham the cream of durham county then and all the big overseas pros from chatfeild to patterson and batters like richardson wasim parry at times and many more .

sometimes in life we regret things this was mine big style ok i went on to win a few things - pro at 3 clubs - few bob - but at the end of the day lost my club and sum mates through leaving on an argument with a mate ..now near 25 years on it still hurts when i play against other counties for durham seniors and sum oppsition bring north durham up in talk its one subject as you can read which hurts me ..

anyway we had our moments lost more than we won but then senior league was the best by miles ask any old head ...

thanks for asking mate nice of you to mention us ..
 
magcatcherhutch said:
i started at north durham when i was 11 ish they played in the tyneside senior league then moved to durham senior until the end when the club went tits up ..

my best years were here i moved around after a fall out with strangey but thats just handbags huffs ect .

wish i never left them we could have hung in their but me hirshy acko sweeney mcarthy all went to other clubs and that was it we were to blame i suppose massive mistake .

the rugby v cricket issues did not help always falling out over ground state as long as i played their ..

we had our best years in the senior in my opinion 78 to 87 we were always down at the bottom but could beat the big boys on occasions .think about it

we could not afford helmets facing = lander wilki graham the cream of durham county then and all the big overseas pros from chatfeild to patterson and batters like richardson wasim parry at times and many more .

sometimes in life we regret things this was mine big style ok i went on to win a few things - pro at 3 clubs - few bob - but at the end of the day lost my club and sum mates through leaving on an argument with a mate ..now near 25 years on it still hurts when i play against other counties for durham seniors and sum oppsition bring north durham up in talk its one subject as you can read which hurts me ..

anyway we had our moments lost more than we won but then senior league was the best by miles ask any old head ...

thanks for asking mate nice of you to mention us ..
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I'm from Gateshead and find that interesting, cheers.
 
Going back to school cricket for the most bizzare incident I can remember. We were playing in Hurworth and batted first, posting a pretty big total. The opposition were always behind but IIRC the arrangement in school cricket then was that unless you managed to get a team all out, the match would be considered a draw (as if it was a 1 innings test match rather than a one-dayer).

Wickets fell regularly and they abandoned any run chase but it looked like their defensive play would pay off - we needed two wickets in the final over to win it but could only get 1 from the first five balls. It seemed inevitable that they were going to scrape a draw by virtue of the fact that we'd run out of time to bowl them out.

So it went down to the last ball with them nine down and needing 70 to win, the last pair inexplicably chose to take a run. Their captain was practically spitting blood as the non-striker was promptly run out to gift us the game :p
 
I played at Whickham for many years - mainly second team but as a youngun for the first team. We had some right chracters Chris Matthews from Australia was a top pro but we often had a very talented but very flawed first team with the likes of Cloughie, Micky Urwin (psycho) and the McElvanneys who were very talebnted cricketers when sober. Psycho was crackers - stamping on the stumps when decisions didnt go his way, having a scrap with the Marsden pro, getting fined and banned.

Umpire now so i'm lead to believe :lol:
 
rentaghost said:
I played at Whickham for many years - mainly second team but as a youngun for the first team. We had some right chracters Chris Matthews from Australia was a top pro but we often had a very talented but very flawed first team with the likes of Cloughie, Micky Urwin (psycho) and the McElvanneys who were very talebnted cricketers when sober. Psycho was crackers - stamping on the stumps when decisions didnt go his way, having a scrap with the Marsden pro, getting fined and banned.

Umpire now so i'm lead to believe :lol:
Click to expand...

Don't forget the Huxley lads ha.
 
magcatcherhutch said:
i remember that i was at north durham then and done the doors of tux 2 night club on occasions sat nights . his mate played with us a tennis player ..they turned up at the club one sat night i was on i got them free shamps and 1 hour later after another 2 bottles of free shamps every lass in the club were around them ..
then sum twat said get those black do daas out of my site ritchi wanted to leave we said no and this so called hard git n his mates had a running battle with 4 of us cops came he got knicked for assault on a doorman i got a black eye n ritchi never came back .. seen him few times after said he had never had that sort of stuff before in life ... what could i say back ....:roll:
Click to expand...

Edson Brown!!! Nicknamed Bungalow, not for the normal reason, he had nothing up top!!

i take it you are S Hutch. We've played against each other
 
rentaghost said:
I played at Whickham for many years - mainly second team but as a youngun for the first team. We had some right chracters Chris Matthews from Australia was a top pro but we often had a very talented but very flawed first team with the likes of Cloughie, Micky Urwin (psycho) and the McElvanneys who were very talebnted cricketers when sober. Psycho was crackers - stamping on the stumps when decisions didnt go his way, having a scrap with the Marsden pro, getting fined and banned.

Umpire now so i'm lead to believe :lol:
Click to expand...

Where else did Chris Matthews play? I remember playing against him one evening in a cup match for Silksworth, but it certainly wasn't Whickham. Possibly Ushaw Moor or somewhere? He was virtually running in from the sightscreen and the pace he was hoying the ball down, coupled with the fading evening light and them stupid perspex visors we wore then led for interesting times (or so i was told). Luckily i didn't have to face him.

I remember Urwin (f***ing idiot). He smashed my mates cheekbone whilst we were playing at Whickham (who were in the coast league then) for Silky again. Mind you it was a cracking ball. One i would have been proud of too:cool:
It was the day of that infamous defeat to Barnsley when we were getting relegated to the 3rd division. Those mag c*nts were cheering and braying on the changing the room windows whenever Barnsley scored etc. How the fuck it didn't go off in the end i still don't know.
Not the best day out we had at Whickham.:evil:
 
greener again ..

tyne n wear scotish tour 1996 st andrews we played the raf they had a cracking team.

i won toss and batted ended up 280ish a red hot day anyway greener came out to bat 9 five overs to go we were 240 i recon this big west indian pro guesting for raf came on to bowl last few overs greener hit 6 after 6 all pulls top edges you name it ..

he came off to a standing ovasion from both teams and the crowd of 5 locals ..

his score was 34 five sixes one 4 ..
so at tea he asked if he could open bowling i said ok fatty go for it .
unkown to us the west indian was a top draw youngan called winston mortimere up n coming west indies b player ..

after 1 over they were 25 greener bowled it then after 6 overs they were 70 the pro had 55 of them .
i took greener off but his last ball a mini bus turned up with 15 or so students on a drinking trip from dundee well they shouted get him off hes shite the fat bastard ..

well greener lost it walking over to them but as he did he tripped in anger ripping his tight pants all way from zip to top of arse well this angerd him even more then he proceeded to try and tip the bus over as the kids ran off with us following them . the bus driver inside thought he was rambo he called cops 5 mins later they came he said greener tried to lift his bus over becouse he was getting freindly banter off students ..

cops took our side and after a 20 mins brake we started again with greener coming back on at the end split pants as well to take 6 wks and win the game by 3 runs or so ..

after in the bar 11 ish greener sang to us and 200 students on the karioke [ as he did the students came in they seen him he seen them and everyone shaked his hand afterwards all forgotton but no it wasnt greener on stage with me singing the front if the stage collapsed we fell the whole place went up with laughter ..

rest of week greener never bought a drink every pub he went was free beer .

he put it all down to the heat and my bad skippering ..

magcatcherhutch said:
greener again ..

tyne n wear scotish tour 1996 st andrews we played the raf they had a cracking team.

i won toss and batted ended up 280ish a red hot day anyway greener came out to bat 9 five overs to go we were 240 i recon this big west indian pro guesting for raf came on to bowl last few overs greener hit 6 after 6 all pulls top edges you name it ..

he came off to a standing ovasion from both teams and the crowd of 5 locals ..

his score was 34 five sixes one 4 ..
so at tea he asked if he could open bowling i said ok fatty go for it .
unkown to us the west indian was a top draw youngan called winston mortimere up n coming west indies b player ..

after 1 over they were 25 greener bowled it then after 6 overs they were 70 the pro had 55 of them .
i took greener off but his last ball a mini bus turned up with 15 or so students on a drinking trip from dundee well they shouted get him off hes shite the fat bastard ..

well greener lost it walking over to them but as he did he tripped in anger ripping his tight pants all way from zip to top of arse well this angerd him even more then he proceeded to try and tip the bus over as the kids ran off with us following them . the bus driver inside thought he was rambo he called cops 5 mins later they came he said greener tried to lift his bus over becouse he was getting freindly banter off students ..

cops took our side and after a 20 mins brake we started again with greener coming back on at the end split pants as well to take 6 wks and win the game by 3 runs or so ..

after in the bar 11 ish greener sang to us and 200 students on the karioke [ as he did the students came in they seen him he seen them and everyone shaked his hand afterwards all forgotton but no it wasnt greener on stage with me singing the front if the stage collapsed we fell the whole place went up with laughter ..

rest of week greener never bought a drink every pub he went was free beer .

he put it all down to the heat and my bad skippering ..
Click to expand...

just looked at old score books great to read tour scores from 1991 to 2009 ..
so a correction greener scored 47 with a few twos n singles he was out last ball ... total 288 us 283 raf 40 overs game in heat near 80s that day .
mark turner got 107 hutch 60 milnethorpe 55 we never got mentioned this day was all about greener ....
 
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spitfire said:
Where else did Chris Matthews play? I remember playing against him one evening in a cup match for Silksworth, but it certainly wasn't Whickham. Possibly Ushaw Moor or somewhere? He was virtually running in from the sightscreen and the pace he was hoying the ball down, coupled with the fading evening light and them stupid perspex visors we wore then led for interesting times (or so i was told). Luckily i didn't have to face him.

I remember Urwin (f***ing idiot). He smashed my mates cheekbone whilst we were playing at Whickham (who were in the coast league then) for Silky again. Mind you it was a cracking ball. One i would have been proud of too:cool:
It was the day of that infamous defeat to Barnsley when we were getting relegated to the 3rd division. Those mag c*nts were cheering and braying on the changing the room windows whenever Barnsley scored etc. How the fuck it didn't go off in the end i still don't know.
Not the best day out we had at Whickham.:evil:
Click to expand...

:lol: Chris Matthews played for Whitburn as well and possibly somehre else and the longer he was here he moderated his pace but his first year he was the speed of light.

I was just about the token mackem in the Whickham team (2nd team in those days) and they loved playng in the coast league as the one Mag team. There was often bad blood against Silksworth - the Whickham lads had the Silky lot down as righty cheating bassas but I cant for the life of me rememeber why :lol:
 
I'm sort of thinking that it may have been mainsforth that chris Matthews played at. My memory deceives me these days
 
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