Funeral directors

Sorry to hear that, been through it with both my folks so know how difficult it can be.

We used Peter Dodd and everything went without a hitch.

As for the service, like your Mam, neither were particularly religious and we had it at the crem and used a celebrant who came recommended. She was called Maggy (or Maggie) Edge if I remember correctly and was excellent. She spent time with us to really get a feel for them and their life and delivered it perfectly.....me Ma wanted a double slot at the crem as figured there'd be so much to cram in, and she was right :lol:

Just checked and if you google her and funeral celebrant, she's still showing as doing it, so could be an option.

Good luck and again, sorry for your loss.
 


@Kevsgreat , sorry to hear of your loss mate , just as a suggestion , you could ask the Funeral Director for a Funeral Celebrant to conduct ( talk of your Mams life ) at the service/ gathering, I’ve been to a few funerals recently that used a Celebrant and honestly it works , try not to be too stressed as it will work out well whichever you choose .
 
safcol said:
Sorry for your loss
John Duckworth is a very caring firm to deal with and Daniel will take care of whichever service you wish to have.
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I’ll second this..we’ve used them a couple of times in the last few years…Daniel is an absolute star..he goes above and beyond to ensure everything is handled with care and sympathy.
 
Kevsgreat said:
Wondering if anyone can help or advise on a funeral director? I did search but nothing really came up and it is a bit of a morbid area.

We lost my mam this week and now we're trying to make arrangements. She wasn't particularly religious so we don't want to go down that route, but when we mentioned she was more into spiritualism and believed in an afterlife we were told that a humanist service might not be suitable. Are there only the two options?

I've looked online but I can't really find much past the usual suspects locally. Does anyone have any experience with something like this?
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Sorry for your loss. Humanists are usually zealots about not introducing anything religious or otherworldly but the funeral director should know a celebrant who is happy to celebrate the life but also recite a prayer. Just had a quick Google and there are a few around.
 
safcol said:
Sorry for your loss
John Duckworth is a very caring firm to deal with and Daniel will take care of whichever service you wish to have.
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So sorry to hear about your loss and likewise John Duckworth would certainly be my recommendation as they have handled all my close family’s services over the years and Daniel has been great in helping get through what is a very emotional time

Also, for a humanist I would strongly recommend Graeme Flaxen from South Hylton as he delivers a perfect service and again, is a big help on getting through such an emotional day
 
Kevsgreat said:
Thanks for the replies everyone. Certainly plenty here to be looking into. SMB comes up trumps again.
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Very sorry for your loss, Kev.

I see Humanist has been mentioned a lot on here. I class myself as a Humanist, but I'm not a Celebrant. I'm also not in the north east.
But these people are -
humanists.uk

Find a funeral celebrant

To find a funeral celebrant near you, just click on your location on our map or add your postcode to the search bar.
humanists.uk

I hope they can help.
 
Goat Eyes said:
I used a local one when I buried my sister. He had contacts for all funeral types. He was good at the orga siding and actual funeral piece but also illiterate and flighty, not always what you want when organising a funeral.

I have just found this though as I was searching, a few links that may be useful for you in there.

www.funeralguide.co.uk

Spiritualist Funerals: A Guide To Spiritualist Beliefs & Etiquette - Funeral Guide

piritualist Funerals: A Guide To Spiritualist Beliefs & Etiquette
www.funeralguide.co.uk www.funeralguide.co.uk
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Just realised autocorrect has done me up like a kipper there as well.
 
Sorry for your loss. Just went through this with my Dad a couple of weeks ago, again with a humanist celebrant. When we spoke with a funeral director (Co-op in our case) I explained that Dad wasn't religious and we thought a humanist celebrant was more appropriate. He'd also done that when Mam went, and seemed happy with how it worked out.

They put us in touch with a celebrant, he spent time talking to my sister and I (and diplomatically navigated a bit of a family feud, which hopefully won't be an issue for you). After that he wrote up a draft text and sent it to me to review. I picked out a couple of things that didn't sound quite right for Dad and we amended them. Some of it was daft stuff - when we were chatting I couldn't remember his Mam's name - some of it was a detail I remembered later, some was just not hitting the right tone somehow. We got it sorted OK in the end, which was the main thing for me.

One thing surprised me: when we spoke, he asked me directly if Dad had any religious faith. I'm sure if I'd wanted to incorporate something more spiritual, he'd have done so (in fact, the main thing I wanted to cut was a slightly airy-fairy thing about death being another step on our journey - nowt wrong with it in theory, but not something we really believe). From that experience, I'd assume a good celebrant will work with you to get what you want, including references to spiritualism / afterlife etc if that's appropriate for you.

Remember that if you have a celebrant, you're not stuck with him/her speaking. If you, your sister, other family and friends etc want to say something in the ceremony (whether that's your own words, reading a favourite poem or quotation, five minutes or five seconds), you can work that in. You'll also be able to choose music for arriving and leaving, plus usually a piece of music in the middle to accompany a moment of private reflection / prayer / whatever seems appropriate. Same as you can request Abide With Me or whatever if you want to sing a hymn - it really should be about you saying farewell to your loved one in a way that works for you and your family. The big thing is that you leave the crematorium (or wherever) feeling that you were able to pay your respects in a way that makes sense for you, not whether you ticked someone else's boxes.

Someone mentioned that you can do it yourself. I thought about that (I do a fair bit of public speaking in my working life, and felt that I knew Dad better than almost anyone else alive, so was tempted). But I'm glad I didn't. I did get up and say a few words of my own at the ceremony, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done just to keep it together. From that experience, I'd say have someone there to hold it all together. No way I could have stretched to half an hour of that, or even divvied up the 'presenter' duties with someone else.
 
Kevsgreat said:
Wondering if anyone can help or advise on a funeral director? I did search but nothing really came up and it is a bit of a morbid area.

We lost my mam this week and now we're trying to make arrangements. She wasn't particularly religious so we don't want to go down that route, but when we mentioned she was more into spiritualism and believed in an afterlife we were told that a humanist service might not be suitable. Are there only the two options?

I've looked online but I can't really find much past the usual suspects locally. Does anyone have any experience with something like this?
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Where are you Kev? Sorry for your loss
 
Hard to bear marra.

Just a couple of points to add.

In 2021 I came home for my sister’s which was a humanist service at the crem. A couple of months later lost one of my oldest mates and watched his via video link as I was back here. Same humanist situation.

The humanist version as I saw it didn’t make me feel they were in any way anti-religious. He had a couple of minutes for people to “pray, reflect, remember however which way you want”. I also got up and spoke for my sister and there was no issue over that he just asked for a summary of what I’d say so we weren’t stepping on each other’s toes.

A couple of minor gripes. It can be a bit of a production line at the crem so you’re in and out in 30 minute time slots. Which can make parking a bit of a drag if the deceased were popular.

Also when my mate died another mate put me on standby and said I may be contacted to contribute any stories. He later said they wouldn’t contact me as he’d given the officiant enough to work with and sent me what he’d told. When I then watched the video link the officiant just parroted out verbatim the stories my mate had told.

Comparing this with the similar situation of my sister I started to feel slightly irritated that we pay these people to just parrot back stories of someone they never knew. I know a lot of people aren’t comfortable speaking in public especially at an emotionally charged event like a funeral but I’d much rather hear the stories from those who were actually there rather than some third party stranger.

But aside from that in both cases it went smoothly and about as pleasant as you could expect from such an unpleasant scenario. TV screens with pics of the departed up on the wall. Better than some stuffy old vicar in a drafty church.
 
Kevsgreat said:
Wondering if anyone can help or advise on a funeral director? I did search but nothing really came up and it is a bit of a morbid area.

We lost my mam this week and now we're trying to make arrangements. She wasn't particularly religious so we don't want to go down that route, but when we mentioned she was more into spiritualism and believed in an afterlife we were told that a humanist service might not be suitable. Are there only the two options?

I've looked online but I can't really find much past the usual suspects locally. Does anyone have any experience with something like this?
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Just ask them for a non religious service.

No mention of religion.

Everyone of them offer this service.

My whole family non religious never had a religious based funeral.

They are more common than you think.

Best of luck.
 

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