Does anyone have the feeling they can't settle?

Mackem00 said:
That's more than enough imo. Fck am I working myself to an early grave just so the bairn has a cushy existence free from any financial issues. I wouldn't have wanted my parents to do it for me tbf. Does this make me shan as? :lol:
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It doesn't Moo. I've said previously I moved down a level and onto less coin for a couple of years as it was more flexible, no overnight stays and I could see more of the little uns. Don't regret it. Where we differ though is I wish my parents had given me a mortgage free life :lol:
 


dangermows said:
It doesn't Moo. I've said previously I moved down a level and onto less coin for a couple of years as it was more flexible, no overnight stays and I could see more of the little uns. Don't regret it. Where we differ though is I wish my parents had given me a mortgage free life :lol:
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Wey I wouldn't turn it down like but looking back I wouldn't swap it for the hours we kicked a ball about in the back field after he'd finished graft at a normalish time.
 
monkeytassle said:
She likes to moan
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I don’t know your wife, but is it really moaning for absolutely no reason? She’s bringing it up because either a) it’s having an impact on her or b) it’s having an impact on you and she’s concerned about you. My guess would be it’s both.

Either way, dismissing it as “she likes to moan” probably won’t end well.
 
Dave has a career which is a bit different to a job in my book and I personally think he’s doing the right thing putting his family 1st, is he going a bit over the top and got the balance wrong ? Probably but it’s a hard thing to get right.

To me the ideal situation for blokes like us is graft ya clems off during the week with work taking the lead role in your life whilst your lass sorts the house and bairns out, then have an uninterrupted weekend off with the family . That’s what I try to do end it’s a perfect setup for me at this age.
MT has got one of them French birds so it’s probs going to be a bit more complicated than that. Shouldn’t be though .
 
Gillythedilf said:
Dave has a career which is a bit different to a job in my book and I personally think he’s doing the right thing putting his family 1st, is he going a bit over the top and got the balance wrong ? Probably but it’s a hard thing to get right.

To me the ideal situation for blokes like us is graft ya clems off during the week with work taking the lead role in your life whilst your lass sorts the house and bairns out, then have an uninterrupted weekend off with the family . That’s what I try to do end it’s a perfect setup for me at this age.
MT has got one of them French birds so it’s probs going to be a bit more complicated than that. Shouldn’t be though .
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Did you mean me as Dave?

I balance all three. Usually work 8:30 to 4:30 then finish. Sometimes it is to do household jobs, sometimes to DIY/garden jobs but at other times it is one of the kids. It is not unusual for them to appear and ask what time I’m finishing and can we do something together.

Although I like what I do, work is a means to an end. I wouldn’t do it if I could afford not to.
 
Mackem00 said:
That's more than enough imo. Fck am I working myself to an early grave just so the bairn has a cushy existence free from any financial issues. I wouldn't have wanted my parents to do it for me tbf. Does this make me shan as? :lol:

It's a crazy outlook to me like. Me and our lass have got the whole second half of our lives to live fingers crossed. So much enjoyment to be had including watching the bairn/grand bairns growing up.
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Nail on head again as per usual from m00.
 
DaveH said:
Did you mean me as Dave?

I balance all three. Usually work 8:30 to 4:30 then finish. Sometimes it is to do household jobs, sometimes to DIY/garden jobs but at other times it is one of the kids. It is not unusual for them to appear and ask what time I’m finishing and can we do something together.

Although I like what I do, work is a means to an end. I wouldn’t do it if I could afford not to.
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OP is also a Dave iirc.
 
SPUFF said:
You're absolutely correct but if I earn enough now then the girls don't have to worry. That's my underlying focus. I don't gove a flying fig about me. I've lived my life and am happy with my fill. Just want to look after the bairns.

That bit. Im sure theyre getting a great eductation n leg up in life regardless.

You’re a relatively young man “ive lived my life”, horseshit mate, plenty good fun years ahead of you.
Ive tried a bit craic with dads saying the above before, dead behind the eyes.

Im not having a go either, genuine concern.
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No concerns needed and I appreciate the sentiment. The kids are looked after and in a month I'll be mortgage free and no worries needed. I'll enjoy my retirement but when the body is healthy I may as well push the limits.
 
monkeytassle said:
This is the discussion I have with the Mrs. If I leave the house at 4 or 6 what does it matter?

She likes to moan

You're absolutely correct but if I earn enough now then the girls don't have to worry. That's my underlying focus. I don't gove a flying fig about me. I've lived my life and am happy with my fill. Just want to look after the bairns.
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With your coin the bairns surely are already entirely set for life and better off than 99% of people. They'll presumably get the house at some point as well which is worth a few quid. At what point do you stop?

I find your mindset fascinating to be honest, it's worlds away from how I go about my life (not a criticism).
 
Muppet said:
I don’t know your wife, but is it really moaning for absolutely no reason? She’s bringing it up because either a) it’s having an impact on her or b) it’s having an impact on you and she’s concerned about you. My guess would be it’s both.

Either way, dismissing it as “she likes to moan” probably won’t end well.
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She sleeps until 0700 so if I leave at 4 or 6 it doesn't effect her.
James said:
With your coin the bairns surely are already entirely set for life and better off than 99% of people. They'll presumably get the house at some point as well which is worth a few quid. At what point do you stop?

I find your mindset fascinating to be honest, it's worlds away from how I go about my life (not a criticism).
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It is what it is mate. I genuinely love my job aside from the occasional moan and it also keeps my mind occupied.
zwartekat said:
From what you've said in the past, the body isn't healthy though, is it?
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It's broken but stable
 
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Makcem Crihs said:
I have the opposite problem, to many things to do, wish I could sit and do nowt.

Tip runs, building beds, wardrobes, shelves up, painting, it's never ending ffs
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I have discovered a zen calm by simply packing in doing anything like that unless absolutely essential. So no decorating, no DIY, no tip runs, no gardening, no reorganising, no finding stupid jobs just to fill time. Do the bare minimum to run a household and that’s it. Take every shortcut, cut every corner and spend the rest of the time loafing.
 
monkeytassle said:
She sleeps until 0700 so if I leave at 4 or 6 it doesn't effect her.

It is what it is mate. I genuinely love my job aside from the occasional moan and it also keeps my mind occupied.

It's broken but stable
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Mebees thinks starting later your not as fucked nightly n going to bed early mate?

I’d br not good come teatime like. Fucked off a 2 hour shift in Leeds today! 😂
 
I can settle and not bob-a-job myself, but when i'm doing "nowt" i'm always catching up on the news, or looking for flights / accommodation for future holidays, or on here. Her indoors cannot sit for 10 minutes without thinking what she could be doing next.
 
Interesting read this thread. Everyone’s different and lives the way they see fit.

Interesting to know if MT’s symptoms stop during a 1 or 2 week summer holiday or any changes to sleep pattern?
 
Deckchair said:
Interesting read this thread. Everyone’s different and lives the way they see fit.

Interesting to know if MT’s symptoms stop during a 1 or 2 week summer holiday or any changes to sleep pattern?
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When I was a little like that I started to chill out around 12 nights into a fortnights holiday 😢
 
Dave Herbal said:
I have discovered a zen calm by simply packing in doing anything like that unless absolutely essential. So no decorating, no DIY, no tip runs, no gardening, no reorganising, no finding stupid jobs just to fill time. Do the bare minimum to run a household and that’s it. Take every shortcut, cut every corner and spend the rest of the time loafing.
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What a great attitude. That’s me being serious not sarcastic BTW. I wish I could be the same.
 
SPUFF said:
When I was a little like that I started to chill out around 12 nights into a fortnights holiday 😢
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That’s your body telling you what you need. If your lass is twisting, she’s probably telling you what she needs too.

It’s borne out of habit not necessity.

Being out of the house 14/15 hours a day and leaving in the dark 4 hours before dawn 10 months of the year is madness unless you’re on the bones of your arse and have to dig your self out of a short / medium term problem. I’d imagine it’s reasonably pleasant in the height of summer when the birds are tweeting but fuck that for a chosen lifestyle the other 10 months.

Workaholism is an addiction like any other.

Prioritising money and a career over relationships and health is a risky business.

If you get a buzz out of what you do fair enough, but if you’re loaded and chasing more coin it just doesn’t stack up as a long term lifestyle choice.
 

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