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Depression

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Turner the Cat said:
Does feel like there are a few similarities between you and I what with the impulsiveness, drinking and therapy experiences. I think we're a similar age as well.

I struggle a bit to write this but if things arent right for you then please do think about reaching out and getting help.

The reason Im wary about writing that is that ive been terrible myself at getting help when i need it and I know if its not been a good experience before (e.g. crap therapists), reaching out again can be difficult.

No idea if this would help but I'm a trustee for a charity and one of the things we do is TWAP or Tea with a Pony. Its focused on people suffering with depression and those from old peoples homes and especially with dementia. Anyway, you cannot imagine the transformation it can have on their wellbeing. I dont know if something like that might help - even just a visit from a friendly dog or something with animals?
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Just been in to drop some shopping in and asked, he doesn’t really want much. Just a shave, so I’ve gave him a shave.
 
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lucky said:
I know it must be so hard mate which way things are but you need to keep recharging your batteries , as by the sounds of it without you and your brother around it would go downhill very quickly.
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Oh I’m at peace with it. I just do it, although it’s tough juggling a hectic job, family and then my dad.

I’m not complaining, not at all as I have a great life but what do you do when there’s zero hope or prospect of anything changing…
 
Goat Eyes said:
Oh I’m at peace with it. I just do it, although it’s tough juggling a hectic job, family and then my dad.

I’m not complaining, not at all as I have a great life but what do you do when there’s zero hope or prospect of anything changing…
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It must be really tough and I wouldn't blame you at all if you did complain mate as seems bad. You seem a top bloke and I feel crap not even knowing what to say :( so God knows how you must feel with the situation your in.
 
lucky said:
It must be really tough and I wouldn't blame you at all if you did complain mate as seems bad. You seem a top bloke and I feel crap not even knowing what to say :( so God knows how you must feel with the situation your in.
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TAD said:
He's lucky to have you and your brother 💜. Guess it's just the small positives..he asked for a shave so there is still something positive even if it's a small thing.
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Cheers. You can only do what you can do to keep him as “happy” as can be.
 
Just another thought that popped into my head. My Dad used to say no to things. If I said, "I've seen this event, blah, blah, blah, would you like to go?", he'd just say no. We started telling him "we're taking you out on Saturday because there's this event on......." and as he was being told what he was doing, it didn't give him the option to opt out.

Daft thing was, he would grumble about going out places, but once he was out, he enjoyed himself and would tell people afterwards that he was pleased he went!
 
burb said:
I think suicidal every day. Not been a day in the last 10 years where I haven't thought about it. I could win a million quid on the lottery and marry Maja Jama and still have the same thoughts. Just learn to live with it, do as the doctor recommends until I finally buckle.
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I've got the complete opposite problem, where I've got relatively low expectations in life, but even the basics requirements of a viable, happy life seem to elude me.
 
Goat Eyes said:
He’s not really mentally or physically capable of much beyond watching TV.

From a highly skilled carpenter to someone who is bed bound and housebound and doesn’t have the dexterity to complete a puzzle or jigsaw. A lot of it his own making as he has smoked pretty much his whole life and even after health warnings carried on.

Even the glimmer of happiness he’d get from seeing his grandkids doesn’t happen as I can’t (won’t) take my kids into his smoke filled house to see him.

I’ve accepted all this but it’s still sad to see.
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Mate it’s your kids and Fatha and I’d be the same. However in these circumstances I’d open the windows and doors and take them in if they where my bairns.
Goat Eyes said:
Just been in to drop some shopping in and asked, he doesn’t really want much. Just a shave, so I’ve gave him a shave.
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Your a gooden Goaty lad
 
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Hello folks!
Not been on here a while and last time I posted I was doing good.
The dark times are here for me again at the moment same old shit not wanting to wake up feeling useless all the time. Not washing or brushing me teeth and sleeping all the time. Well waking up and functioning sort of.
Making tea and dinner for wife and me boy but just wanting to go back to bed and sleep. Gets to the point when I just don’t want to wake up again so my head doesn’t hurt.

It’s shit isn’t it.
Especially when I’ve got nowt to loan about really. Wife who I love and son who I adore. Job cars and I still feel like this.

Just wish I was normal. I get jealous of people who don’t suffer.

But 12 year I’ve struggled. Good days bad days. We go again.
Hope everyone is keeping on. Love Rhubarb. X
 
Rhubarb said:
Hello folks!
Not been on here a while and last time I posted I was doing good.
The dark times are here for me again at the moment same old shit not wanting to wake up feeling useless all the time. Not washing or brushing me teeth and sleeping all the time. Well waking up and functioning sort of.
Making tea and dinner for wife and me boy but just wanting to go back to bed and sleep. Gets to the point when I just don’t want to wake up again so my head doesn’t hurt.

It’s shit isn’t it.
Especially when I’ve got nowt to loan about really. Wife who I love and son who I adore. Job cars and I still feel like this.

Just wish I was normal. I get jealous of people who don’t suffer.

But 12 year I’ve struggled. Good days bad days. We go again.
Hope everyone is keeping on. Love Rhubarb. X
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Bad day too here Rhubs. Not that it's any comfort to anyone

The classic battle thinking am taking this on head on now but then just collapse

Day off work and it all comes crashing around, meeting me back the other way

I read your post and got thinking. 20 years since the ex wife first forced me to the doctors and I've achieved absolutely fuck all with it except for knowing how grim it gets

I feel like screaming at someone, anyone. I just feel like such an idiot

I do my best. I try to be a good dad, I try to be a good friend, I try to look out for people I know are struggling, I try to make my life better, I try to to be funny and caring

But it's always this. Am not sure how much longer I can go on

Off to watch the racing. I don't have words for how f***ing destroying this is
 
Easier said than done, I know, but try and be kind to yourself. It’s hard enough all this without you (and your head) being your biggest enemy. That’s something I’ve learnt this past six months.

It’s my experience and everyone is different but I’ve found exercise helps. I don’t really do it because I want to look like some massive muscly fella but I’ve found an hour in the gym really helps. I can let off a bit of steam in there if I need to, I can listen to some music or a podcast and I always come away feeling better. I’ve found people aren’t bothered or talking about me being in a gym and it’s not actually a bad place. The discipline to keep going back, on days when I can’t be bothered or it’s been a tough day, is massive and I feel like I’ve achieved something before I’ve actually exercised when I walk through the door.
 
Five-Quarter said:
Bad day too here Rhubs. Not that it's any comfort to anyone

The classic battle thinking am taking this on head on now but then just collapse

Day off work and it all comes crashing around, meeting me back the other way

I read your post and got thinking. 20 years since the ex wife first forced me to the doctors and I've achieved absolutely fuck all with it except for knowing how grim it gets

I feel like screaming at someone, anyone. I just feel like such an idiot

I do my best. I try to be a good dad, I try to be a good friend, I try to look out for people I know are struggling, I try to make my life better, I try to to be funny and caring

But it's always this. Am not sure how much longer I can go on

Off to watch the racing. I don't have words for how f***ing destroying this is
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Hi mate.

And I totally understand. But listen mate. When you say you are trying to be the best dad friend to your family. You are the best dad and friend!

You are strong for going through this for so long and I am too. We all are. It’s a bastard mate. We fight it everyday.

Talking helps massively. This is first time I’ve spoke on here for a while but we arnt alone.

We might feel fucked and st lowest but we can beat it as long as we talk.

Take care my friend.

Love Rhubarb. X
 
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