Don't ever apologise mate or we will fall out
am just pleased your OK that's all that matters and nothing else 
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Depression
- Thread starter Maravilla
- Start date
- Status
am just pleased your OK that's all that matters and nothing else .
Turner the Cat
Central Defender
Back to square one today and I wondered, whats the point of trying when all that ever happens is I end up back at the bottom.
Today I have cried and cried but I'm so happy I did. I can only remember crying twice before in the last 25 years. I feel like if I can cry I can let go of some suffering. I always feel like I hold the pain in and cant let go.
This might sound weird but I had this girlfriend and if she was angry she would go after me both physically and mentally for literally hours and hours and not let go. One time I picked up a lighter and I burnt myself and the physical pain was such a wonderful escape from the mental pain and I cried and cried. It was a wonderful release. I dont know if thats why other people self harm but thats what it did for me.
So being able to cry today felt like a wonderful release of suffering for a long time. And now that's what I feel like I need to do - not try harder but let go. Let go of all the judgement, bitterness, spite and fear. So I'll give that a go.
Today I have cried and cried but I'm so happy I did. I can only remember crying twice before in the last 25 years. I feel like if I can cry I can let go of some suffering. I always feel like I hold the pain in and cant let go.
This might sound weird but I had this girlfriend and if she was angry she would go after me both physically and mentally for literally hours and hours and not let go. One time I picked up a lighter and I burnt myself and the physical pain was such a wonderful escape from the mental pain and I cried and cried. It was a wonderful release. I dont know if thats why other people self harm but thats what it did for me.
So being able to cry today felt like a wonderful release of suffering for a long time. And now that's what I feel like I need to do - not try harder but let go. Let go of all the judgement, bitterness, spite and fear. So I'll give that a go.
CPLforever
Midfield
Self harm is a coping mechanism. A bad one, but a coping mechanism non the less. One that we get into because we can't seem to find any other way. But like all bad habits, excessive drink, drugs, impulsive dangerous behaviour, binge eating or not eating at all, we have to work towards giving it up and finding better coping mechanisms.
Crying, letting it go....they are good coping mechanisms. You are finding your good coping mechanisms @Turner the Cat well done. It doesn't mean we're "cured" or miracously all our troubles melt away, it, hopefully means we can manage it all a bit better.
Crying, letting it go....they are good coping mechanisms. You are finding your good coping mechanisms @Turner the Cat well done. It doesn't mean we're "cured" or miracously all our troubles melt away, it, hopefully means we can manage it all a bit better.
MigsGoalKicks
Midfield
a good cry is like pushing the reset button sometimes. Wish i did it more!
Gelan
Winger
Mental well being is proportional to an individuals view of probability. Forever thinking "worse case scenario" and refusing to embrace chaos will result in low levels of Oxytocin.
Nb: I'm an Oxytocin factory...if you cannot find a logical answer as to why you don't like me, try envy.
Nobody however qualified can help you with this, you have to do it yourself.
Good luck
Nb: I'm an Oxytocin factory...if you cannot find a logical answer as to why you don't like me, try envy.
Nobody however qualified can help you with this, you have to do it yourself.
Good luck
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Hope you getting on alright mateMental well being is proportional to an individuals view of probability. Forever thinking "worse case scenario" and refusing to embrace chaos will result in low levels of Oxytocin.
Nb: I'm an Oxytocin factory...if you cannot find a logical answer as to why you don't like me, try envy.
Nobody however qualified can help you with this, you have to do it yourself.
Good luck
Turner the Cat
Central Defender
Well I feel on top of the world today.
I'm up and down more than katie Price's knickers.
Thats the problem. No consistency but at least I get these up spells.
I'm up and down more than katie Price's knickers.
Thats the problem. No consistency but at least I get these up spells.
CPLforever
Midfield
Bloody weird isn't it.
Rhubarb
Central Defender
Evening folks. How are well feeling?
Been to doctors today and spoke to my gaffer and I’m off back to work on Monday phased return.
Been off a month after losing my uncle knocked me head in. Longer I stop off work though and makes it harder to go back in.
Need a routine me. Dreading it like to be honest but citalopram upped to 30mg seems to be helping.
I’ve actually had a shave and been walking the dog and showering everyday and looking after mesel.
Might not see much but it’s massive to me.
Keep on keeping on everyone. And as always I’m here if anyone needs me. X
Been to doctors today and spoke to my gaffer and I’m off back to work on Monday phased return.
Been off a month after losing my uncle knocked me head in. Longer I stop off work though and makes it harder to go back in.
Need a routine me. Dreading it like to be honest but citalopram upped to 30mg seems to be helping.
I’ve actually had a shave and been walking the dog and showering everyday and looking after mesel.
Might not see much but it’s massive to me.
Keep on keeping on everyone. And as always I’m here if anyone needs me. X
Turner the Cat
Central Defender
Glad to hear of the improvement. The little steps are really important so well done. Just remember not to push yourself too hard and take the time you need to get back to where you need to be.
CPLforever
Midfield
Can I ask you what seems like a weird personal question? Citalopram, any side effects?.
I seem to sweat loads after even the littlest bit of exertion. Trying to figure out why and the citalopram is the only thing different.
Five-Quarter
Midfield
Said this many times. You won't do it by posting what it is
Am fucked in the head. I gain nothing by posting how am alright, cos am not.
I could fill 10000 books on why am not
Durham gangsters are still after me. They're probably not anymore but hey ho.
S.S.R..
Winger
Therefore it is massive. Well done.
How you doing , you OK mate ?
Well done marra. Proud of you
Keep talking mate. We're all here for you xx
Well done mate little things like getting up and getting a shave when your down is a massive accomplishment. Think I went months not looking after myself and just lying in bed all day doing as little as I could so what you have done is class and keep going as we all rooting for you
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CPLforever
Midfield
Oh @Rhubarb I was so busy wondering about my own side effects I forgot to say you have done great. Only when I came on here again to read did I realise how selfish I had been.
Of course I think you have done brilliantly and getting back to work is a huge step forward. Well done. Take it easy on Monday mind.
Of course I think you have done brilliantly and getting back to work is a huge step forward. Well done. Take it easy on Monday mind.
You defo not selfish mate far from it , one of the good ones on here
Rhubarb
Central Defender
You are not selfish at all mate. Thankyou for the kind words. And I hope you are doing well. All the best marra. Keep on keeping on.
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