Depression

[becs]

Hibernate anyway. xmas is shit, you won't miss anything. Seeing the increase in parcels already at work, before Black Friday, Cyber Monday and the start of 'xmas pressure', I would like nothing more than to disappear for the next few weeks.

Anyway, strange night last night and I've no idea how to respond, though the next thing I do will be to read that article in the Guardian. Had a great evening at the music quiz, won a load of money on the football and had a decent drink, and me own troubles had been put aside for a while and then, on the way home, one of me oldest mates tells me how he plans to end it all. He's very matter of fact about it, very intelligent bloke who just seems to have had enough of life. He can still have a good time but doesn't feel that all the bits in between are worth it, had enough of loneliness and rejection, basically. He had talked about this a few months ago but I'd thought it was just a dip and he'd got over it because he had seemed fine since. Though he's very calm and matter-of-fact when he's talking about it, just occasionally there are clear signs of depression when he chokes up and shows some tears. He's already making the arrangements, putting his property up for sale (his will will distribute the proceeds to a few charities as he has cut his son out - my feeling is that the root of his problems is there) sorting out the paperwork etc.

It's strange, I really can't decide what I feel about it. He has explored various options in the past and I know that nothing I suggest would be new to him or be of any interest. He is just determined to take control and end things on his own terms. I strongly believe that we have things totally wrong in this country when it comes to people choosing to die rather than endure the pain and misery of physical illness so isn't this the same? He has no physical ailments but shouldn't apparently incurable 'mental illness' be regarded in the same way?? I've lost a couple of friends who went out of the blue with no warning or explanation and the impact on those left behind is horrible with all those unanswered questions, but that wouldn't be the case here. I don't want him to do it, for selfish reasons - I like having him around! - but I'm not sure that it's actually any of my business. I would worry about the impact it would have on his estranged son (who does appear to have turned into a proper twat) when he finds out, and wonder whether there's not an element of revenge in all this, but I think the rest of his friends and family might just have to respect his decision, and I'm sure he'll explain it to them.

I'm meeting him later on, ironically because he reckons I need a good talking to about how I'm dealing/not dealing with MY problems!! Any thoughts on how to proceed?!?

Sorry to hear that marra. All you can do is listen to him. Tell him how much of a miss he will be to you and others who he means a lot to. It's not an easy way out for the people who are left behind constantly wondering if they could have done something more to help. Sending my love and hope you find the strength to get through your chat with him.

 

[Goat Eyes]

Hibernate anyway. xmas is shit, you won't miss anything. Seeing the increase in parcels already at work, before Black Friday, Cyber Monday and the start of 'xmas pressure', I would like nothing more than to disappear for the next few weeks.

Anyway, strange night last night and I've no idea how to respond, though the next thing I do will be to read that article in the Guardian. Had a great evening at the music quiz, won a load of money on the football and had a decent drink, and me own troubles had been put aside for a while and then, on the way home, one of me oldest mates tells me how he plans to end it all. He's very matter of fact about it, very intelligent bloke who just seems to have had enough of life. He can still have a good time but doesn't feel that all the bits in between are worth it, had enough of loneliness and rejection, basically. He had talked about this a few months ago but I'd thought it was just a dip and he'd got over it because he had seemed fine since. Though he's very calm and matter-of-fact when he's talking about it, just occasionally there are clear signs of depression when he chokes up and shows some tears. He's already making the arrangements, putting his property up for sale (his will will distribute the proceeds to a few charities as he has cut his son out - my feeling is that the root of his problems is there) sorting out the paperwork etc.

It's strange, I really can't decide what I feel about it. He has explored various options in the past and I know that nothing I suggest would be new to him or be of any interest. He is just determined to take control and end things on his own terms. I strongly believe that we have things totally wrong in this country when it comes to people choosing to die rather than endure the pain and misery of physical illness so isn't this the same? He has no physical ailments but shouldn't apparently incurable 'mental illness' be regarded in the same way?? I've lost a couple of friends who went out of the blue with no warning or explanation and the impact on those left behind is horrible with all those unanswered questions, but that wouldn't be the case here. I don't want him to do it, for selfish reasons - I like having him around! - but I'm not sure that it's actually any of my business. I would worry about the impact it would have on his estranged son (who does appear to have turned into a proper twat) when he finds out, and wonder whether there's not an element of revenge in all this, but I think the rest of his friends and family might just have to respect his decision, and I'm sure he'll explain it to them.

I'm meeting him later on, ironically because he reckons I need a good talking to about how I'm dealing/not dealing with MY problems!! Any thoughts on how to proceed?!?

I suspect he does want saving, he wants someone with the answers to tell him how to survive. Otherwise why would he tell you. He may be matter of fact about it but I still believe he needs saving.

Having very recently lived and seen the effects of suicide (last 3 months) there has to be a better way. I don’t have the answers unfortunately but I know that suicide is not the way.

The starting point must be with his son. If he has this chat with his son you’d hope humanity would intervene.

 

[look out piano]

Hibernate anyway. xmas is shit, you won't miss anything. Seeing the increase in parcels already at work, before Black Friday, Cyber Monday and the start of 'xmas pressure', I would like nothing more than to disappear for the next few weeks.

Anyway, strange night last night and I've no idea how to respond, though the next thing I do will be to read that article in the Guardian. Had a great evening at the music quiz, won a load of money on the football and had a decent drink, and me own troubles had been put aside for a while and then, on the way home, one of me oldest mates tells me how he plans to end it all. He's very matter of fact about it, very intelligent bloke who just seems to have had enough of life. He can still have a good time but doesn't feel that all the bits in between are worth it, had enough of loneliness and rejection, basically. He had talked about this a few months ago but I'd thought it was just a dip and he'd got over it because he had seemed fine since. Though he's very calm and matter-of-fact when he's talking about it, just occasionally there are clear signs of depression when he chokes up and shows some tears. He's already making the arrangements, putting his property up for sale (his will will distribute the proceeds to a few charities as he has cut his son out - my feeling is that the root of his problems is there) sorting out the paperwork etc.

It's strange, I really can't decide what I feel about it. He has explored various options in the past and I know that nothing I suggest would be new to him or be of any interest. He is just determined to take control and end things on his own terms. I strongly believe that we have things totally wrong in this country when it comes to people choosing to die rather than endure the pain and misery of physical illness so isn't this the same? He has no physical ailments but shouldn't apparently incurable 'mental illness' be regarded in the same way?? I've lost a couple of friends who went out of the blue with no warning or explanation and the impact on those left behind is horrible with all those unanswered questions, but that wouldn't be the case here. I don't want him to do it, for selfish reasons - I like having him around! - but I'm not sure that it's actually any of my business. I would worry about the impact it would have on his estranged son (who does appear to have turned into a proper twat) when he finds out, and wonder whether there's not an element of revenge in all this, but I think the rest of his friends and family might just have to respect his decision, and I'm sure he'll explain it to them.

I'm meeting him later on, ironically because he reckons I need a good talking to about how I'm dealing/not dealing with MY problems!! Any thoughts on how to proceed?!?

I really don't know what to say fella, it seems a rather stressful situation to be in . I can't hibernate as I have a 9 year old that needs their mam to be present in every sense of the word. I'll just keep on plodding on, trying to remember there are folks far worse off than I

 

[GTG]

Sorry to hear that marra. All you can do is listen to him. Tell him how much of a miss he will be to you and others who he means a lot to. It's not an easy way out for the people who are left behind constantly wondering if they could have done something more to help. Sending my love and hope you find the strength to get through your chat with him.

It was a long night! I left his house at 4.00 am by which time I think I was speaking in tongues. I focused on both the strategies suggested here. the impact his loss would have on the rest of us, and the need for him to reconcile things with his son before he goes, so thanks to those here for the recommendations. We were both in bits at various points but it was also strangely uplifting at times.

Ultimately, however, I don't think it had any real impact on his thinking at all. he seems determined to continue with his plans though, equally, he doesn't seem to be in a massive hurry so I don't think it would take much of a turnaround in his fortunes for him to put the plans on the back burner. I was relieved to earn that he has explained things to several other people he is close to so at least if he does go ahead they won't be left wondering what they could have done and I won't be left thinking "should I have told them?" Lots of big manly hugs and tears and he still has two properties to sell so I'm sure I'll see him at the music quiz on Monday and hopefully at the next few as well.

 

[becs]

It was a long night! I left his house at 4.00 am by which time I think I was speaking in tongues. I focused on both the strategies suggested here. the impact his loss would have on the rest of us, and the need for him to reconcile things with his son before he goes, so thanks to those here for the recommendations. We were both in bits at various points but it was also strangely uplifting at times.

Ultimately, however, I don't think it had any real impact on his thinking at all. he seems determined to continue with his plans though, equally, he doesn't seem to be in a massive hurry so I don't think it would take much of a turnaround in his fortunes for him to put the plans on the back burner. I was relieved to earn that he has explained things to several other people he is close to so at least if he does go ahead they won't be left wondering what they could have done and I won't be left thinking "should I have told them?" Lots of big manly hugs and tears and he still has two properties to sell so I'm sure I'll see him at the music quiz on Monday and hopefully at the next few as well.

That's really odd that he's planning it so well. Just keep making him welcome at the music quiz and hopefully he'll change his mind.

 

[Giggity]

All agreed. 4 week taper off starting today. Fingers crossed.

1 week into my taper (taking 20mg pills alternate days) and since Friday night, I've had a sore throat, and then a headache since Saturday - still feel like shite now.

I've already had that cold that's going around - I was a week over that before I started the taper. Is there another cold going around?
Can't/shouldn't be the flu as a) its not severe enough at all, b) I had the flu jab

So now I'm wondering if this is just another cold/virus or whether this is withdrawal symptoms. Thankfully I've been off work for a few days - but I do have to go back later in the week.

 

[SPUFF]

It was a long night! I left his house at 4.00 am by which time I think I was speaking in tongues. I focused on both the strategies suggested here. the impact his loss would have on the rest of us, and the need for him to reconcile things with his son before he goes, so thanks to those here for the recommendations. We were both in bits at various points but it was also strangely uplifting at times.

Ultimately, however, I don't think it had any real impact on his thinking at all. he seems determined to continue with his plans though, equally, he doesn't seem to be in a massive hurry so I don't think it would take much of a turnaround in his fortunes for him to put the plans on the back burner. I was relieved to earn that he has explained things to several other people he is close to so at least if he does go ahead they won't be left wondering what they could have done and I won't be left thinking "should I have told them?" Lots of big manly hugs and tears and he still has two properties to sell so I'm sure I'll see him at the music quiz on Monday and hopefully at the next few as well.

might be a great time to get a couple of mortgages n take two bargains off the lads hands mate?

shit that was awful humour. Good luck to you both!

 

[becs]

1 week into my taper (taking 20mg pills alternate days) and since Friday night, I've had a sore throat, and then a headache since Saturday - still feel like shite now.

I've already had that cold that's going around - I was a week over that before I started the taper. Is there another cold going around?
Can't/shouldn't be the flu as a) its not severe enough at all, b) I had the flu jab

So now I'm wondering if this is just another cold/virus or whether this is withdrawal symptoms. Thankfully I've been off work for a few days - but I do have to go back later in the week.

There's loads of cold bugs going around. I had to pick the bairn up from school one day last week and the school admin lady was saying she feels lately like she spends all day sending children home!

Hope you feel better soon xx

 

[look out piano]

I'm not feeling too great, I'm on the bus and there's a lady crying behind me and I don't know if I should turn round and ask her if she's okay . I don't want to embarrass her, she's quietly crying but I saw tears as I sat down.

 

[Curlyteeth]

It's a tricky one but I'd probably say something

 

[Deleted member 2014]

I'm not feeling too great, I'm on the bus and there's a lady crying behind me and I don't know if I should turn round and ask her if she's okay . I don't want to embarrass her, she's quietly crying but I saw tears as I sat down.

I would say something.
At least she'll be grateful for your concern.
Sorry to hear you're not feeling great either, my friend
You take care, or if you need to chat, just fire away xx

 

[look out piano]

I would say something.
At least she'll be grateful for your concern.
Sorry to hear you're not feeling great either, my friend
You take care, or if you need to chat, just fire away xx

Thank you lovely man for your concern, I'm just tired - my batteries are on about 20% max. I listened out for the lady behind me, but I then smelt booze and thought hmmm she's pissed and emotional. As I got up to get off the bus I looked at her, she was either pretending to be asleep or was nodding off so I didn't disturb her (knowing my luck she would have kicked off and belted me one ).

 

[Deleted member 2014]

Thank you lovely man for your concern, I'm just tired - my batteries are on about 20% max. I listened out for the lady behind me, but I then smelt booze and thought hmmm she's pissed and emotional. As I got up to get off the bus I looked at her, she was either pretending to be asleep or was nodding off so I didn't disturb her (knowing my luck she would have kicked off and belted me one ).

Good work, detective LOP
At least you were, genuinely concerned about her, which shows you're a good person.
Take good care of yourself, and recharge those batteries, as Christmas is just around the corner, and your boy will be full of energy and excitement. x

 

[becs]

Thank you lovely man for your concern, I'm just tired - my batteries are on about 20% max. I listened out for the lady behind me, but I then smelt booze and thought hmmm she's pissed and emotional. As I got up to get off the bus I looked at her, she was either pretending to be asleep or was nodding off so I didn't disturb her (knowing my luck she would have kicked off and belted me one ).

Sounds like you did the right thing there. Look after yourself missus xx

 

[Giggity]

There's loads of cold bugs going around. I had to pick the bairn up from school one day last week and the school admin lady was saying she feels lately like she spends all day sending children home!

Hope you feel better soon xx

Bizarrely, I'm glad to hear there's multiple bugs going round! I'm really excited about getting off these pills and getting "back to normal". I know it might not happen, but closing this chapter would be rather nice.
Feeling a bit better already today. Been out washing both cars today. The missus' new "people carrier" is bloody massive - takes sodding ages to wash ffs

I see there's some much more serious posts on here at the moment - thoughts are with you.

 

[chopsfc007]

Struggling today mind

 

[D.A]

Struggling today mind

Do you speak with anyone?

 

[chopsfc007]

Do you speak with anyone?

Iv tried councilor before just stomach pains worse than usual

 

[Jorrd93]

Since I went to the GP a while back I’ve done 3 CBT sessions but I’m just as bad if not worse.

think I’m starting to pinpoint problems in my life but not sure if they’re due to the depression or they’re causing the depression.

how depressing is that ironically...

 

[Mally Mackem]

Iv tried councilor before just stomach pains worse than usual

every days a victory mate