Depression

[Giggity]

Anyone still following this thread?

Tried to get in to see my doctor yesterday to talk to someone, but couldn't get an appt. Got through the day, but feeling really shit at the moment. Couldn't sleep, then slept in - no appointments left today. Could not face work - so that's it, its official, I've called in sick with "stress".

Now I'm even more stressed about that - there's a follow up from a "case worker" to go through. I don't even know how to explain what's wrong. As soon as the worst feelings pass, my brain seem to "delete" the memories and its like it never happened.
Until it happens again - for instance, just arranging a courier for something I sold last night nearly put me over the edge, and then driving home from the drop-off, my chest started to hurt again. It was all I could do to get the car home and have a lie down. 20 minutes later, perfectly fine. I've had an ECG and blood tests, there's nowt wrong with my heart. Just like I had a load of blood tests at my docs last year - all in the hope (??) there's actually something wrong with me that can be fixed with a pill.

The new thing: I seem to have a thought stuck in my head for weeks now. What if I die before I fix this. A whole life wasted & my kid never gets to see me "normal". Let's face it, I've not been normal in years now.

So what does a person do when they call in sick from work? Do I just sit in front of the telly? I've no idea what to do folks.

 

[NewAdventuresInWiFi]

Yellow carriage for me currently.

Thoughts as always with those who aren’t. Hang on in there.

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[yorkyexile]

Anyone still following this thread?

Tried to get in to see my doctor yesterday to talk to someone, but couldn't get an appt. Got through the day, but feeling really shit at the moment. Couldn't sleep, then slept in - no appointments left today. Could not face work - so that's it, its official, I've called in sick with "stress".

Now I'm even more stressed about that - there's a follow up from a "case worker" to go through. I don't even know how to explain what's wrong. As soon as the worst feelings pass, my brain seem to "delete" the memories and its like it never happened.
Until it happens again - for instance, just arranging a courier for something I sold last night nearly put me over the edge, and then driving home from the drop-off, my chest started to hurt again. It was all I could do to get the car home and have a lie down. 20 minutes later, perfectly fine. I've had an ECG and blood tests, there's nowt wrong with my heart. Just like I had a load of blood tests at my docs last year - all in the hope (??) there's actually something wrong with me that can be fixed with a pill.

The new thing: I seem to have a thought stuck in my head for weeks now. What if I die before I fix this. A whole life wasted & my kid never gets to see me "normal". Let's face it, I've not been normal in years now.

So what does a person do when they call in sick from work? Do I just sit in front of the telly? I've no idea what to do folks.

Sounds more anxiety related than depression.
Don`t call in sick if you can help it. If the support is there at work battle through. At least your focusing on something even if not very well, or if you do take time off, nows a decent time actually school hols etc, do not sit and veg in front of the tv. It is the worst thing you can do because you`ll end up with guilt on top of everything else. Take the bairn out even if its just for a wander to the shop for a paper, set your self a target of where you want to be.eg swimming with the bairn in a fortnight and do little bits to get you there ie a walk, then a bit longer walk, then a walk and a quick cuppa in a cafe etc till your ready to go swimming or whatever. Do not sit and veg!!! This is from my own experience mind matey others may tell you slightly different but the gist is more or less the same

 

[Giggity]

Sounds more anxiety related than depression.
Don`t call in sick if you can help it. If the support is there at work battle through. At least your focusing on something even if not very well, or if you do take time off, nows a decent time actually school hols etc, do not sit and veg in front of the tv. It is the worst thing you can do because you`ll end up with guilt on top of everything else. Take the bairn out even if its just for a wander to the shop for a paper, set your self a target of where you want to be.eg swimming with the bairn in a fortnight and do little bits to get you there ie a walk, then a bit longer walk, then a walk and a quick cuppa in a cafe etc till your ready to go swimming or whatever. Do not sit and veg!!! This is from my own experience mind matey others may tell you slightly different but the gist is more or less the same

Thanks.

Too late for not telling them - I told work this morning after battling for an hour as to whether to go in or not (tbh, this has been coming on for nearly a year now - I've decided I've battled through enough times now). They're really big on mental health issues, so I'm hoping they'll be good.
Got someone round doing work on the house this afternoon - they're expecting the place to be empty, so I think I'll have a drive out somewhere and get some fresh air. Can't do too much though, as I've got a buggered ankle at the moment.

 

[MURPHY1973]

Thanks.

Too late for not telling them - I told work this morning after battling for an hour as to whether to go in or not (tbh, this has been coming on for nearly a year now - I've decided I've battled through enough times now). They're really big on mental health issues, so I'm hoping they'll be good.
Got someone round doing work on the house this afternoon - they're expecting the place to be empty, so I think I'll have a drive out somewhere and get some fresh air. Can't do too much though, as I've got a buggered ankle at the moment.

Similar thing happened to me in February. After months - possibly years of bottling it up I finally sucumbed and had to seek professional help.

Luckily my work were fantastic and even paid for me to see a counsellor and i have just returned back full time albeit on a reduced workload until i am ready.

Depression and anxiety was one of my worst ever experiances i have ever faced and without the early intervention i would probably still be off.

I am still yet to have a blip which slightely worries me but hopefully i have learned some techniques to help me overcome it.

I was very open and honest with work and colleagues and the number of people who came forward saying they had been through similar was staggering.

My advice is take as much help as you can get from work or other sources. Its not easy but hopefully it will help in the long run

 

[NewAdventuresInWiFi]

Depression and anxiety was one of my worst ever experiances i have ever faced and without the early intervention i would probably still be off.

Until you’ve been there yourself it’s reasonable I guess for people not to fully understand it.

Folk regularly say stuff like losing weight is hard work (lost a stone & a half in 3 months personally) but even something like that is an absolute f***ing piece of piss to maintain compared to living with genuine depression &/or anxiety truth be told.

* apologies for the bold text - can’t get rid of it now

 

[Bad_mother]

@Giggity it's about small things.... Do try and get out of the house each day, and set yourself one thing to achieve, even if it's buying a paper, having a shower, reading a book......

 

[blf]

Thanks.

Too late for not telling them - I told work this morning after battling for an hour as to whether to go in or not (tbh, this has been coming on for nearly a year now - I've decided I've battled through enough times now). They're really big on mental health issues, so I'm hoping they'll be good.
Got someone round doing work on the house this afternoon - they're expecting the place to be empty, so I think I'll have a drive out somewhere and get some fresh air. Can't do too much though, as I've got a buggered ankle at the moment.

Don't just battle through anything . I've worked over 30 yrs at a senior level in the NHS mental heath services . You need help and it's there for you. No joy from your GP so go around them. I'm assuming you are in the Sunderland area so this is the number for your NHS IAPT team for psychological therapies. If you are not in the Sunderland area just Google IAPT and the name of your area

0191 5665450.

Use it. They will help you.

 

[yorkyexile]

Don't just battle through anything . I've worked over 30 yrs at a senior level in the NHS mental heath services . You need help and it's there for you. No joy from your GP so go around them. I'm assuming you are in the Sunderland area so this is the number for your NHS IAPT team for psychological therapies. If you are not in the Sunderland area just Google IAPT and the name of your area

0191 5665450.

Use it. They will help you.

Yeah sorry i didnt mean to oimply battle through by himself. i meant battle on as in keep himself going and not let him grind to a halt

 

[soapster]

Anyone still following this thread?

Tried to get in to see my doctor yesterday to talk to someone, but couldn't get an appt. Got through the day, but feeling really shit at the moment. Couldn't sleep, then slept in - no appointments left today. Could not face work - so that's it, its official, I've called in sick with "stress".

Now I'm even more stressed about that - there's a follow up from a "case worker" to go through. I don't even know how to explain what's wrong. As soon as the worst feelings pass, my brain seem to "delete" the memories and its like it never happened.
Until it happens again - for instance, just arranging a courier for something I sold last night nearly put me over the edge, and then driving home from the drop-off, my chest started to hurt again. It was all I could do to get the car home and have a lie down. 20 minutes later, perfectly fine. I've had an ECG and blood tests, there's nowt wrong with my heart. Just like I had a load of blood tests at my docs last year - all in the hope (??) there's actually something wrong with me that can be fixed with a pill.

The new thing: I seem to have a thought stuck in my head for weeks now. What if I die before I fix this. A whole life wasted & my kid never gets to see me "normal". Let's face it, I've not been normal in years now.

So what does a person do when they call in sick from work? Do I just sit in front of the telly? I've no idea what to do folks.

worse thing to do is to sit around and do nothing. you may physically be still but your mind wont be. A big danger is if you start to overthink as you then start to overthink your overthink.
we are not designed to be sitting around doing nothing. our mind needs to be active other wise your mind will make things up to be active.
even if it is a puzzle book (do a level you can do) or a magazine. go for a walk. try and spot different birds and find out what they are. go for a swim

 

[Giggity]

@Giggity it's about small things.... Do try and get out of the house each day, and set yourself one thing to achieve, even if it's buying a paper, having a shower, reading a book......

You know what my biggest issue is? I can't handle the size of the "to do list" that I have. After 3 years of it, I'm just done. Finished. Nothing left.

Even today, I've done a few little jobs, but then the day has been gazumped somewhat by a tradesman coming to do some bigger work - so I was basically resigned to sitting on the sofa while he did his thing.

I'll never be short of things to do - And I like messing on my PC, any chance I get. I'm nowhere near staring at walls all day for weeks on end.

Don't just battle through anything . I've worked over 30 yrs at a senior level in the NHS mental heath services . You need help and it's there for you. No joy from your GP so go around them. I'm assuming you are in the Sunderland area so this is the number for your NHS IAPT team for psychological therapies. If you are not in the Sunderland area just Google IAPT and the name of your area

0191 5665450.

Use it. They will help you.

Thank you - much appreciated.

I'll get into the GP's tomorrow and hopefully I can explain how I feel. Hard though, since I can barely explain it to myself.

 

[The Archer]

Anyone still following this thread?

Tried to get in to see my doctor yesterday to talk to someone, but couldn't get an appt. Got through the day, but feeling really shit at the moment. Couldn't sleep, then slept in - no appointments left today. Could not face work - so that's it, its official, I've called in sick with "stress".

Now I'm even more stressed about that - there's a follow up from a "case worker" to go through. I don't even know how to explain what's wrong. As soon as the worst feelings pass, my brain seem to "delete" the memories and its like it never happened.
Until it happens again - for instance, just arranging a courier for something I sold last night nearly put me over the edge, and then driving home from the drop-off, my chest started to hurt again. It was all I could do to get the car home and have a lie down. 20 minutes later, perfectly fine. I've had an ECG and blood tests, there's nowt wrong with my heart. Just like I had a load of blood tests at my docs last year - all in the hope (??) there's actually something wrong with me that can be fixed with a pill.

The new thing: I seem to have a thought stuck in my head for weeks now. What if I die before I fix this. A whole life wasted & my kid never gets to see me "normal". Let's face it, I've not been normal in years now.

So what does a person do when they call in sick from work? Do I just sit in front of the telly? I've no idea what to do folks.

Sounds similar to me mate. A couple of years back I was getting chest pains plus pains down left arm, jaw etc and was convinced it was my heart. Ended up in A&E, similar tests to you and they put it down to acid reflux and gave me some tablets.

I’ve struggled on and off since with good and bad periods again similar to you with thoughts you can’t shake off but then they go and you wonder why you have been feeling like you did.

It came to a head earlier this year - I posted about it on one of these threads - and i’ve been on Sertraline since April time. Fingers crossed I have levelled our but gonna be on the tablets for a bit.

Speak to your GP, see if there’s help at work and try whatever is suggested. Everyone is different and we all have to find our own way of coping but the main thing is you have recognised you might have a problem.

Good luck and remember you aren’t alone.

 

[Bad_mother]

I'll get into the GP's tomorrow and hopefully I can explain how I feel. Hard though, since I can barely explain it to myself.

Before you go, jot a few notes down about how you feel, then if the conversation goes left at the roundabout or you feel anxious about forgetting bits you have a prompt....

(Or if you do what I did and burst out crying you can just pass the doc the note )

 

[MURPHY1973]

Before you go, jot a few notes down about how you feel, then if the conversation goes left at the roundabout or you feel anxious about forgetting bits you have a prompt....

(Or if you do what I did and burst out crying you can just pass the doc the note )

Writing things down is a great idea. I kept a mood diary when I first went off sick. It was hard at first as I would write the same bad stuff every day but it gradually got better.

I looked back through it last night and from what i read i didnt realise how ill i had been.

I also wrote a brief story of what i went through and showed it to my family and my boss. It left a huge impression with them and made them understand what i was going through as i couldnt get it out in words.

Work actually asked me if they could use my story as part of their mental health awareness campaign in october. If i can get one person who is suffering in silence to seek help then i am up for that!!

 

[Giggity]

Before you go, jot a few notes down about how you feel, then if the conversation goes left at the roundabout or you feel anxious about forgetting bits you have a prompt....

(Or if you do what I did and burst out crying you can just pass the doc the note )

That's exactly what I did yesterday. The problem is, I cope with this stuff and have done for years, once the immediate thing goes away, I mostly forget about it and everything is fine.

I'm fine sitting here now, because there's literally no stress around me right now.
But something could happen at any time, and I'd possibly struggle again.

So I wrote some notes yesterday. Going to the docs at 2.

 

[yorkyexile]

That's exactly what I did yesterday. The problem is, I cope with this stuff and have done for years, once the immediate thing goes away, I mostly forget about it and everything is fine.

I'm fine sitting here now, because there's literally no stress around me right now.
But something could happen at any time, and I'd possibly struggle again.

So I wrote some notes yesterday. Going to the docs at 2.

best of luck

 

[Giggity]

Spent all day thinking "but there's nowt wrong with me today, this is going to be stupid at the docs as he'll know there nothing really wrong".

And now, with 30 mins to go, I'm anxious as fuck just worrying about that. FFS

Well, that was an experience.

Long story short, I've got a number to call - Talking Changes, and I've got some pills to take. And some time off work. Also got some tests to run tomorrow, before a follow up session in 2 weeks time.

Think I'll have a bit of a rest now

 

[The Archer]

Spent all day thinking "but there's nowt wrong with me today, this is going to be stupid at the docs as he'll know there nothing really wrong".

And now, with 30 mins to go, I'm anxious as fuck just worrying about that. FFS

Well, that was an experience.

Long story short, I've got a number to call - Talking Changes, and I've got some pills to take. And some time off work. Also got some tests to run tomorrow, before a follow up session in 2 weeks time.

Think I'll have a bit of a rest now

Good luck mate. You have done the right thing.

 

[Giggity]

Bloods taken this morning. Got a load of print offs to read, then I need to syc myself up to call these people. Not looking forward to that one.

 

[The Fullwell Step]

Spent all day thinking "but there's nowt wrong with me today, this is going to be stupid at the docs as he'll know there nothing really wrong".

And now, with 30 mins to go, I'm anxious as fuck just worrying about that. FFS

Well, that was an experience.

Long story short, I've got a number to call - Talking Changes, and I've got some pills to take. And some time off work. Also got some tests to run tomorrow, before a follow up session in 2 weeks time.

Think I'll have a bit of a rest now

Talking changes is excellent by the way, make sure you get in touch with them and push for a 1 to 1 appointment if you can, the first will be a telephone consultation, and I found the group session tough, but 1 to 1 was superb.