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Depression thread continued...


Gennaro Savastano said:
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This is it. Absolutely huge for a single bloke but in a good location for me for work and the kids. Shite location for my social life but can't have everything.
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Looks good! Ceilings aren't too high so should be efficient and costs should be low.
 
So after the amazing high of yesterday, few beers, the match which was outstanding and then a curry with my best mates it was back to reality today. Had the kids for the afternoon had a lovely time with them but then they left and I have been spiralling ever since. The realisation that any good moments are going to be short lived and 90% of the time I am going to feel like I do now is awful. I am truly broken.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
So after the amazing high of yesterday, few beers, the match which was outstanding and then a curry with my best mates it was back to reality today. Had the kids for the afternoon had a lovely time with them but then they left and I have been spiralling ever since. The realisation that any good moments are going to be short lived and 90% of the time I am going to feel like I do now is awful. I am truly broken.
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At least you are managing, however infrequently to get out, to spend times with the kids and have a wee bit relief from the black dogs.
Make sure you keep that date with the lads for the match (won't always be that brilliant mind but hey "Till the end").
Make sure when the kids are round you have more great times and try to keep the memories of these events to give you comfort .
 
CPLforever said:
At least you are managing, however infrequently to get out, to spend times with the kids and have a wee bit relief from the black dogs.
Make sure you keep that date with the lads for the match (won't always be that brilliant mind but hey "Till the end").
Make sure when the kids are round you have more great times and try to keep the memories of these events to give you comfort .
Click to expand...

Would love a season ticket again to give me something to look forward to but my own place to live has to be my priority first. It is weird because when I lived with the ex and the kids I cherished the rare moment of peace from the chaos when the kids went to bed etc. Now I would do anything to have that chaos back. You don't know what you have got till its gone.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
Would love a season ticket again to give me something to look forward to but my own place to live has to be my priority first. It is weird because when I lived with the ex and the kids I cherished the rare moment of peace from the chaos when the kids went to bed etc. Now I would do anything to have that chaos back. You don't know what you have got till its gone.
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It gets easier mate, it really does.

My ex used my kids as weapons, was a dark time, then I met my current wife ( 27 years ago this month ) and she decided I wasn't allowed to see my kids anymore, she didn't want me but it seems no one else could have me.

I remember the nights of sleeping at my mams when we first split up, lonely, filled with anger and just thinking how everyone else seemed happy and I was the odd one out, I was a young lad and didn't know any better, so hit the drink big time.

I still dont see my kids even as adults, my daughter I dont see has just had her own kid and is getting married, her step dad who has been a father to her all these years ( off and on as my ex is a nutter ) will be giving her away and such and thats fine, I have my new family now and it would just open up old wounds if I tried to roll back the clock.

what I am trying to say is dont give up, yes its bloody hard, but your not alone in going through this, its more normal than you think, but you never know what's round the corner.

I lost everything, even tried to end it, I was sleeping on my mams floor, a pisshead, then in the space of 6 months I went from that to a little bedsit, a new job, then a new girl friend, and after 27 years we are still together, as quickly as things can go bad things can get better.

If I could tell my old self some advice it would be to use the "lonely time" to better myself back then, I should have found something just for me to do, because we are important too, we arent defined by our kids, I love them to bits but there is more to life, I wish I had learnt that lesion sooner, would have saved a lot pain, I still miss them somewhat and I do have some regrets, but sometimes we have to to do the hard things if its the right thing to do and in my case it was the right thing to walk away from the nasty fighting that me and my ex did and to stop them being used as a weapon.


Look to the positives mate, its plain to see you love your kids so much, making sure your alright is important not just for you but for your kids too mate, a happy dad is very important for them, I promise you things will fall into place, just takes a little time, so dont give up on it.
 
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