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Depression thread continued...

Roker SOL said:
Do I reach out to her and try to talk or do I move on and leave it to her to come to her senses? I'm erring towards the latter seeing how stubborn she's been and sort of thinking I might have to move on from what may be now a former friendship.
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Everyone is different so this is just my opinion.

I’ve worked with people I’ve got on with for years, but until I’m doing social non work related things with them, I’d just be classing them as colleagues/people I work with.

If this is someone you’ve developed a friendship with and you’re chatting outside of work/doing stuff together, then it’s probably worth having a chat with them to tell them they’ve been a dick.

If it’s just someone you’re matey with in work then I’d end the “friendship”. I’d also be gunning for them any chance I got.

Ultimately something like that could potentially mess with your job/your house/your family. A mate wouldn’t do that. If they genuinely thought you’d messed up they’d have had a chat with you about it first.
 

Baloo said:
Everyone is different so this is just my opinion.

I’ve worked with people I’ve got on with for years, but until I’m doing social non work related things with them, I’d just be classing them as colleagues/people I work with.

If this is someone you’ve developed a friendship with and you’re chatting outside of work/doing stuff together, then it’s probably worth having a chat with them to tell them they’ve been a dick.

If it’s just someone you’re matey with in work then I’d end the “friendship”. I’d also be gunning for them any chance I got.

Ultimately something like that could potentially mess with your job/your house/your family. A mate wouldn’t do that. If they genuinely thought you’d messed up they’d have had a chat with you about it first.
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This is the exact reason I'm still seriously pissed with them. I am erring towards only dealing with them on work related matters from now.
CPLforever said:
I must admit, having read your side of the story. If it was me, and I repeat ME, I would not go out of my way to speak to her about anything other than work and endeavour to avoid as much as is possible.

This is actually quite serious I think. She could have got you in serious trouble if you hadn't got yourself well covered to show you acted correctly.

In the end tho only you can decide what you think you should do. So do what is best for you.
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Another line manager and not the one I've got, senior managers involved, and it could have become disciplinary. The key part of this was my own manager didn't understand why she didn't come to me.

My coping strategies with my ASD involve distancing and in the extreme cutting out people would are potentially harmful. It is difficult but I'm now seeing her this way. She's done this once, she'll do it again.

My very last message to her said as the case had been escalated that any dealings would be via my line manager as regards the case. Beyond that, I'd only deal with her on a works or professional basis. That was two weeks ago.

As regards gunning for her, I'm not exactly going to do that as I've seen that backfire. But any major gaffs, I won't be going to her but flagging to her manager (probably via my own) as she did with me.
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It's been a difficult few years co.ing to terms with my ASD and this has come at a time when I'm staring to propely get sorted.

I certainly still need my space from her and it looks like this might now be the norm.
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She has the nickname "Dipsy" and the fact she is a little dispy was sort of an endearing quality. I had thought she hadn't thought things through in line with this, but her doubling down even in the face of the data seems potentially to show a side I didn't see in her before.
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I might miss her company but right now I feel she's destroyed the trust.
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Moving on...
 
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I've had a decent heart to heart with Mrs FC (no). I explained I don't want to burden her with my problems.

Fundamentally I'm an absolute mess. Whilst suicide isn't on the menu, I do at times feel that I'd be better off dead. I'm not brave enough to kill myself.

GP on Tuesday. Hopefully he'll be able to help, along with prescribing some antibiotics for the filth I'm coughing up currently.
 
FatCat2402 said:
I've had a decent heart to heart with Mrs FC (no). I explained I don't want to burden her with my problems.

Fundamentally I'm an absolute mess. Whilst suicide isn't on the menu, I do at times feel that I'd be better off dead. I'm not brave enough to kill myself.

GP on Tuesday. Hopefully he'll be able to help, along with prescribing some antibiotics for the filth I'm coughing up currently.
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I guarantee you're not better off dead. Hopefully the GP gives you some help.
 
FatCat2402 said:
I've had a decent heart to heart with Mrs FC (no). I explained I don't want to burden her with my problems.

Fundamentally I'm an absolute mess. Whilst suicide isn't on the menu, I do at times feel that I'd be better off dead. I'm not brave enough to kill myself.

GP on Tuesday. Hopefully he'll be able to help, along with prescribing some antibiotics for the filth I'm coughing up currently.
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Well done on the heart to heart and you keep going mate ❤️.
 
FatCat2402 said:
I've had a decent heart to heart with Mrs FC (no). I explained I don't want to burden her with my problems.

Fundamentally I'm an absolute mess. Whilst suicide isn't on the menu, I do at times feel that I'd be better off dead. I'm not brave enough to kill myself.

GP on Tuesday. Hopefully he'll be able to help, along with prescribing some antibiotics for the filth I'm coughing up currently.
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Put yourself in her shoes for a second, if she came to you and said “I don’t want to burden you with my problems” what would your response be?

That will be how she feels so let her in and take her help and support.
 
FatCat2402 said:
I've had a decent heart to heart with Mrs FC (no). I explained I don't want to burden her with my problems.

Fundamentally I'm an absolute mess. Whilst suicide isn't on the menu, I do at times feel that I'd be better off dead. I'm not brave enough to kill myself.

GP on Tuesday. Hopefully he'll be able to help, along with prescribing some antibiotics for the filth I'm coughing up currently.
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Hope you're feeling better today. Get yourself out in the sun.
 
shadowplay said:
Actually suicide rates always rise this time of year
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I can sort of understand that. You feel obliged to un-hibernate and that can be scary
AmblerThorn said:
Hi thread.

Not doing good. Am heading towards a mess

When you text your mate saying you're suicidal. Is all I fantasise about. There's a drop that'll do it
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Oh no sorry to hear you are feeling like crap (putting it mildly). Is it something specific got you like this or just generally feeling terrible?

Do you think you should go to see your GP if you feeling this low.
 
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Been away from this thread a while so just an update from me.

Relationship has now completely broken down with no chance of repairing it. We are still living together but I am on the sofa while she has the bedroom. Pretty much spend all my time alone in the living room and she goes straight upstairs when she finishes work. It is quite surreal. We still haven't told the kids whats happening but obviously when I am on the sofa they know things aren't right. I am currently looking for an affordable rental property which isn't easy especially as I will need to buy all the essentials. I don't want to tear apart the kids home so I won't be taking the appliances or furniture I have paid for. It is awful to be walking away from 20 years together with nothing but I want to make it as stress free as possible for the kids. I Know I will get over my ex in time but not living with my kids will never be ok for me and I am absolutely gutted.

I am still taking my SSRI's and they must help as the suicidal thoughts aren't constant anymore and I am actually being pro-active in trying to move on.
 
I read other people's stories and realise that my anxiety and depression is incredibly misplaced. People have seriously difficult issues and yet I struggle with stuff that's insignificant.

Absolutely f***ing pathetic. I need to get myself sorted out.
 
FatCat2402 said:
I read other people's stories and realise that my anxiety and depression is incredibly misplaced. People have seriously difficult issues and yet I struggle with stuff that's insignificant.

Absolutely f***ing pathetic. I need to get myself sorted out.
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Don't be daft mate, anxiety and depression can take over your life. Me and my now ex both suffer from anxiety and depression and it is us not being able to deal with that properly that has caused us to get to this point.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
Been away from this thread a while so just an update from me.

Relationship has now completely broken down with no chance of repairing it. We are still living together but I am on the sofa while she has the bedroom. Pretty much spend all my time alone in the living room and she goes straight upstairs when she finishes work. It is quite surreal. We still haven't told the kids whats happening but obviously when I am on the sofa they know things aren't right. I am currently looking for an affordable rental property which isn't easy especially as I will need to buy all the essentials. I don't want to tear apart the kids home so I won't be taking the appliances or furniture I have paid for. It is awful to be walking away from 20 years together with nothing but I want to make it as stress free as possible for the kids. I Know I will get over my ex in time but not living with my kids will never be ok for me and I am absolutely gutted.

I am still taking my SSRI's and they must help as the suicidal thoughts aren't constant anymore and I am actually being pro-active in trying to move on.
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I am so so sorry, what an incredibly shitty time for you, but you know, from what I am reading you are dealing with it, in a strong way and can see yourself it the future, settled and in your kids life, in a healthy way.

Please keep coming on, posting. Let us know how you are getting on, to discuss, vent, ask for advice, ramble. Best of luck
FatCat2402 said:
I read other people's stories and realise that my anxiety and depression is incredibly misplaced. People have seriously difficult issues and yet I struggle with stuff that's insignificant.

Absolutely f***ing pathetic. I need to get myself sorted out.
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Absolutely not as said above, your feelings and experiences and ability to cope, either good or bad are valid.
 
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CPLforever said:
I am so so sorry, what an incredibly shitty time for you, but you know, from what I am reading you are dealing with it, in a strong way and can see yourself it the future, settled and in your kids life, in a healthy way.

Please keep coming on, posting. Let us know how you are getting on, to discuss, vent, ask for advice, ramble. Best of luck

Absolutely not as said above, your feelings and experiences and ability to cope, either good or bad are valid.
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To be honest I can't see myself in the future but just making steps towards it instead of giving up is better than nothing.
 
This week Andy's Man Club Sunderland had their highest number of people through the door (71).

That's 71 local lads that have gone through the same struggles as yourselves, realised they need help and made that arduous step to come and talk/listen.

I'm not asking everyone here to do the same, just keep communicating on here with each other if it works for you. Remember to share on here the positive days, not just the bad ones.
 
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