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Depression thread continued...

Since my Mam died back in 2011, I've had ongoing issues with what I'd class as anxiety. Since my Dad died in 2020, I seem, especially recently to have lost the plot fundamentally.

I simply can't deal with every day events. I worry about my wife driving to/from work, I've developed ridiculous "health' anxiety...I had pain in my side a few weeks back. I broke down in tears when we were shopping in Sainsbury's explaining to my wife that I was unwell and scared. I've had blood and urine tests come back clear and GP reckons it's muscular.

I need to find a dentist as it's years since I've been, but I'm terrified of the cost (and treatment).

One of my knees continues to give me bother which means I can no longer run.

I'm dealing with these problems by fundamentally drinking too much. Which I know is madness. I'm on sertraline already but it appears to be making no difference.

I'm not what I'd class as depressed but I find life a real challenge at the minute. I just don't seem to be able to keep a perspective on things.
Fat cat with respect, what your describing sounds like depression to me (I have a mental health background). Might I be as bold as to suggest you visit your GP, I perhaps think they will give you much needed support.
Fat cat I see from a later post that you were visiting your GP. How was it?
 
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Fat cat with respect, what your describing sounds like depression to me (I have a mental health background). Might I be as bold as to suggest you visit your GP, I perhaps think they will give you much needed support.
Fat cat I see from a later post that you were visiting your GP. How was it?
Appointment with GP next week. Will report back in due course. Thanks for asking
 
Thanks. I'd love to calm down. This gives you an idea of how bonkers I am.

I worry about how I'm going to cope with if/when I really am unwell. I'm 56 and worried about how I'll cope with the worry of ill health if/when I get to 70. In other words I'm already worried about being worried 😂

And then I start to worry that this has the potential to spiral into an absolute mental mess.

A few years back, I had similar struggles. Worrying far too much about things the MIGHT happen. I still do at times, but I am getting a lot better at dealing with it. I read this book back then, it might be worth a go:


I will warn you that it is hard going at times, and also a bit repetitive. Some of the stuff in there, I thought was complete bullsh*t, but I did take some learnings from it.

Good luck.
 
Had a week away on holiday and ended up fighting with an unbarable mag 75% my fault but my temper goes at times my mind blew up the wrong way

Feeling meh as back to reality tomorrow just found out someone close to me has passed away with cancer whilst I was away but it was kept from me till I got home.
 
Had a week away on holiday and ended up fighting with an unbarable mag 75% my fault but my temper goes at times my mind blew up the wrong way

Feeling meh as back to reality tomorrow just found out someone close to me has passed away with cancer whilst I was away but it was kept from me till I got home.
Hope your OK mate and so sorry about your loss ❤️ .
 
Had a week away on holiday and ended up fighting with an unbarable mag 75% my fault but my temper goes at times my mind blew up the wrong way

Feeling meh as back to reality tomorrow just found out someone close to me has passed away with cancer whilst I was away but it was kept from me till I got home.
Hope you chinned em.
 
Does anyone else feel much better when it's a nice sunny day and you can sit in the garden or somewhere out and about chilled out and relaxed
When the sun comes out , my mates come out of hibernation. We have had 2 Saturdays in a row out for the afternoon in the pub. Also when it’s sunny it is easier to get people to go out for a walk.

I am ok Monday to Friday as I like my job , and it gives me the meaningful human contact. The weekends are a struggle. My ex and I lived in separate houses , and she always wanted to be doing something all weekend. I couldn’t be arsed , now I see her point.

Weekly goals , that’s what I am doing now. Trying to have something to look forward to on a weekend. One week at a time.
Staying off the socials as that ticks me off sometimes.

Debating on joining the online dating as well , maybe after Easter.
 
So things have been going reasonably okay for me despite some major reorganisations at work. A few bonuses havecome my way for going above and beyond during the changes.

However, two weeks ago when I was having a day off, someone I thought of as a friend e-mail my line manager saying I had acted negligently with a client with special needs. I got back on Monday and presented a package of information via audit trail (I'm techy and audit-trained) to show I'd acted in a proper manner, with which my line manager was satisfied with. I'd shown I'd logged the special needs client correctly, I hadn't neglected the case and had informed the correct person and responded to the client given the best response I had available who gave exactly the information we needed. People will note I've discussed my NHS Right to Choose upcoming AD-HD and ASD diagnoses sessions on here in the past.

As the matter had been escalated by the person I thought was a friend, it was my line manager who dealt with the issues. The "friend" doubled down, saying I'd sent an incorrect response to the candidate and basically ignoring the other points in the evidence.

It turned out delays were due to the system we were using, with the client query not offered to me by our systems to process until four days after it arrived. Also, the person I informed admitted to me they had not passed on the query as due to other duties they'd forgot - they at least apologised. That other person didn't question my actions. Also, a senior manager on that team looked at the case on the log but failed to act shortly after I added it and even after being emailed by another manager. As regards the response my friend said I should have used, it was not on the list of responses we had available and only to members of her own team.

The person who forgot has not been questioned despite the data I provided. Noting his error was minor and the case was seen by more senior people, he and I have basically shaken hands on his part. It was a human mistake done on overtime when others weren't around.

I never got an apology despite the evidence. Also, both my line manager and I both can't see why she didn't come directly to me. We were supposed to friends and a direct approach would have sorted it out in 10 minutes.

The same client popped up a week later. Apparently, no-one had got back to them. I logged the contact and this time the senior manager concerned was available. I carried out the actions asked, but I'm of the believe once again the senior manager didn't act.

As regards the friend, it's now at the two weeks stage and we're not on speaking terms now.

The thing is the two of us were close as we became buddies very quickly after I started the job. I'm missing her, but at the same time I'm pissed over her actions. The whole situation just seems to have spiralled out of control and led to an extended silence (and we all know women are the masters of silences). I think she's acted clumsily, not looked at all the data but she's not prepared to lose face by admitting she was wrong.

Other cases are being delayed due to basically the system being overloaded but there seems to be an atmosphere clients should account for this and contact us well in advance.

When I first saw the e-mail, I found myself enterring an ASD shutdown phase and blaming myself and only once I pulled round did I start to look more anlytically at the evidence. The friend, despite having a son herself on the scale doesn't actually seem to understand what Autism is and knows all about my situation. I find that the really sad bit.

I have to admit I'm hurting over this and it's been a severe test of my coping strategies.

Do I reach out to her and try to talk or do I move on and leave it to her to come to her senses? I'm erring towards the latter seeing how stubborn she's been and sort of thinking I might have to move on from what may be now a former friendship.
 
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So things have been going reasonably okay for me despite some major reorganisations at work. A few bonuses havecome my way for going above and beyond during the changes.

However, two weeks ago when I was having a day off, someone I thought of as a friend e-mail my line manager saying I had acted negligently with a client with special needs. I got back on Monday and presented a package of information via audit trail (I'm techy and audit-trained) to show I'd acted in a proper manner, with which my line manager was satisfied with. I'd shown I'd logged the special needs client correctly, I hadn't neglected the case and had informed the correct person and responded to the client given the best response I had available who gave exactly the information we needed. People will note I've discussed my NHS Right to Choose upcoming AD-HD and ASD diagnoses sessions on here in the past.

As the matter had been escalated by the person I thought was a friend, it was my line manager who dealt with the issues. The "friend" doubled down, saying I'd sent an incorrect response to the candidate and basically ignoring the other points in the evidence.

It turned out delays were due to the system we were using, with the client query not offered to me by our systems to process until four days after it arrived. Also, the person I informed admitted to me they had not passed on the query as due to other duties they'd forgot - they at least apologised. That other person didn't question my actions. Also, a senior manager on that team looked at the case on the log but failed to act shortly after I added it and even after being emailed by another manager. As regards the response my friend said I should have used, it was not on the list of responses we had available and only to members of her own team.

The person who forgot has not been questioned despite the data I provided. Noting his error was minor and the case was seen by more senior people, he and I have basically shaken hands on his part. It was a human mistake done on overtime when others weren't around.

I never got an apology despite the evidence. Also, both my line manager and I both can't see why she didn't come directly to me. We were supposed to friends and a direct approach would have sorted it out in 10 minutes.

The same client popped up a week later. Apparently, no-one had got back to them. I logged the contact and this time the senior manager concerned was available. I carried out the actions asked, but I'm of the believe once again the senior manager didn't act.

As regards the friend, it's now at the two weeks stage and we're not on speaking terms now.

The thing is the two of us were close as we became buddies very quickly after I started the job. I'm missing her, but at the same time I'm pissed over her actions. The whole situation just seems to have spiralled out of control and led to an extended silence (and we all know women are the masters of silences). I think she's acted clumsily, not looked at all the data but she's not prepared to lose face by admitting she was wrong.

Other cases are being delayed due to basically the system being overloaded but there seems to be an atmosphere clients should account for this and contact us well in advance.

When I first saw the e-mail, I found myself enterring an ASD shutdown phase and blaming myself and only once I pulled round did I start to look more anlytically at the evidence. The friend, despite having a son herself on the scale doesn't actually seem to understand what Autism is and knows all about my situation. I find that the really sad bit.

I have to admit I'm hurting over this and it's been a severe test of my coping strategies.

Do I reach out to her and try to talk or do I move on and leave it to her to come to her senses? I'm erring towards the latter seeing how stubborn she's been and sort of thinking I might have to move on from what may be now a former friendship.
I must admit, having read your side of the story. If it was me, and I repeat ME, I would not go out of my way to speak to her about anything other than work and endeavour to avoid as much as is possible.

This is actually quite serious I think. She could have got you in serious trouble if you hadn't got yourself well covered to show you acted correctly.

In the end tho only you can decide what you think you should do. So do what is best for you.
 
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