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Depression thread continued...

70s traveller said:
I suppose it's because she's concerned about her child's welfare. That's being a Mother
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I know yeah. Done well to hide stuff from her, just cracked last few weeks, was hard not to show it.

Perfectly normal on her part. Just wish I was just always on the ball with her. Feel im still dependent on her a bit, which I feel shit about

But I can’t say that’s main reason, doesn’t help
 

MustardAndOnions said:
I know yeah. Done well to hide stuff from her, just cracked last few weeks, was hard not to show it.

Perfectly normal on her part. Just wish I was just always on the ball with her. Feel im still dependent on her a bit, which I feel shit about

But I can’t say that’s main reason, doesn’t help
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Can you move out?
 
MustardAndOnions said:
I know yeah. Done well to hide stuff from her, just cracked last few weeks, was hard not to show it.

Perfectly normal on her part. Just wish I was just always on the ball with her. Feel im still dependent on her a bit, which I feel shit about

But I can’t say that’s main reason, doesn’t help
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I imagine she's worked out that you're hiding your feelings from her, it might be worth you opening up to her a bit more, she'll completely understand, You are her bairn so she'll be on your side. Then when that cracks the pressure you feel will be lessened and one personal benefit leads to another.

NB - Sons are always dependent on their Mother, you aren't alone in that.
 
MustardAndOnions said:
Well it’s just me mam. Feel like I worry her, as I’m just not like sorted in life, she should be doing her best to enjoy retirement but she’s probs worrying about me.

Dunno how to explain it

That’s just like a byproduct of it though.
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70s traveller said:
I suppose it's because she's concerned about her child's welfare. That's being a Mother
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Speaking as a Mam, 70's traveller is spot on!

My eldest is 27. He's lived independently for several years. After the match, we say bye in High Street and he goes off to catch the Metro. I still worry about him getting home on his own. Nothing has ever happened to him on his way home. Mothers are batshit man ☺️
MustardAndOnions said:
I know yeah. Done well to hide stuff from her, just cracked last few weeks, was hard not to show it.

Perfectly normal on her part. Just wish I was just always on the ball with her. Feel im still dependent on her a bit, which I feel shit about

But I can’t say that’s main reason, doesn’t help
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Doesn't matter how old you are, you still rely on your Mam. I do.

Talk to her if you can. There's nothing to feel guilty about for talking to your Mam.

I know it's not the main reason, but baby steps are a good starting point.
 
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FlyingLotus said:
Probably that she’s proud that you’re able to live independently. Don’t overthink it, man :)

Aren’t you always working away in different countries as well? I bet your parents are buzzing for you.
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I have to admit that I was shocked & laughed when I first read it in a depression thread, I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant how it could easily be taken. :D
 
MustardAndOnions said:
I know yeah. Done well to hide stuff from her, just cracked last few weeks, was hard not to show it.

Perfectly normal on her part. Just wish I was just always on the ball with her. Feel im still dependent on her a bit, which I feel shit about

But I can’t say that’s main reason, doesn’t help
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Talk as much as you can mate, bottling things up won’t help.

I still have issues at times with overthinking stuff, what I started doing was writing down the problem and then writing downs way I could overcome what I perceived the issue to be.

My memory is pretty good so if I come across the same thing twice I’ve generally got an idea of how to tackle it from the off.
 
Charlestonian said:
Talk as much as you can mate, bottling things up won’t help.

I still have issues at times with overthinking stuff, what I started doing was writing down the problem and then writing downs way I could overcome what I perceived the issue to be.

My memory is pretty good so if I come across the same thing twice I’ve generally got an idea of how to tackle it from the off.
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Thanks mate

Overthinking, indecision are the main way it manifests itself, makes life hard like. But to like insane degrees

I can laugh about it sometimes
 
MustardAndOnions said:
Thanks mate

Overthinking, indecision are the main way it manifests itself, makes life hard like. But to like insane degrees

I can laugh about it sometimes
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It’s a proper tricky one if it gets on top of you aye.

My Mrs is as blunt as they come, she generally knows if I’m my head and snaps me out of it quite well.

Just depends what approach you need to help you I guess.
 
Charlestonian said:
It’s a proper tricky one if it gets on top of you aye.

My Mrs is as blunt as they come, she generally knows if I’m my head and snaps me out of it quite well.

Just depends what approach you need to help you I guess.
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That’s a good help I bet.

I can usually get by but just last month, I don’t even know what to say. Obviously wider issues at play, but been in some right states.

The fact I’m intelligent to know what’s going on but can’t do anything to stop it almost makes it worse, if that makes sense.

And it’s more frustrating looking back thinking, I should have done that etc.

Just really don’t like myself essentially, which obviously isn’t healthy position to have!
 
MustardAndOnions said:
That’s a good help I bet.

I can usually get by but just last month, I don’t even know what to say. Obviously wider issues at play, but been in some right states.

The fact I’m intelligent to know what’s going on but can’t do anything to stop it almost makes it worse, if that makes sense.

And it’s more frustrating looking back thinking, I should have done that etc.

Just really don’t like myself essentially, which obviously isn’t healthy position to have!
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By the sounds of it, opening up to a professional might help you.

At my worst, I had to do that to make sense of what was happening, so I could tell people close to me that what was going on.

I’m just talking about what worked for me, you’ve got to be ready to take the step, but it totally changed my outlook when I did that, and I still have occasional appointments now when I’m particularly busy.
 
MustardAndOnions said:
Just fuck every decision up, always make the wrong decision, overthink stuff, I’m a total failure, can never think clearly, wasting days and my life, no idea what to do in general, every day I wake up and it’s just fuck sake here we go again. Wasted so many opportunities, Barely look at meself in the mirror at minute. Just totally and utterly useless. Feel totally alone even though got some great friends.

parents were so nice and supportive and couldn’t have done more for me. Fuckin useless

Sat on train just wanted to get my thoughts down, not a nice read but just useless man.
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I went through a good few years of feeling like that and I have hundreds of regrets… now I have my kids I suddenly realise that I needed all that to truly appreciate what I have and obviously everything needed to happen to have the kids exactly as they are.

There will be a time in your life when you look back and think the same, but I know the rut you’re in and know you’ll be thinking it’s never-ending, but trust me, it’s not the case. Not saying it needs to be kids, but there’ll be something that you end up achieving that you needed to travel the bumpy path to get to, you’re clearly intelligent so I’m sure you’ve got plenty of potential to achieve what you want.

In my 20’s I’d sat with a sword pressed to my chest a few times, tempting myself because the pain was overwhelming, that’s how bad I was; now I’m the complete opposite (not including a rough patch at the start of the year/end of last after losing a family member)
 
MustardAndOnions said:
Overthinking, indecision are the main way it manifests itself, makes life hard like. But to like insane degrees
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Overthinking can be brutal for the mind. A few weeks ago, I read some advice about faulty thinking, saying stop imagining possibilities as certainties. I'm doing s large scale decorating project just now. I've saved hours since, not worrying about, or planning for, things that didn't happen. Whereas before I'd be researching how to deal with consequences if something went wrong and buying expensive tools etc ready for it.
 
PeteFTM said:
I went through a good few years of feeling like that and I have hundreds of regrets… now I have my kids I suddenly realise that I needed all that to truly appreciate what I have and obviously everything needed to happen to have the kids exactly as they are.

There will be a time in your life when you look back and think the same, but I know the rut you’re in and know you’ll be thinking it’s never-ending, but trust me, it’s not the case. Not saying it needs to be kids, but there’ll be something that you end up achieving that you needed to travel the bumpy path to get to, you’re clearly intelligent so I’m sure you’ve got plenty of potential to achieve what you want.

In my 20’s I’d sat with a sword pressed to my chest a few times, tempting myself because the pain was overwhelming, that’s how bad I was; now I’m the complete opposite (not including a rough patch at the start of the year/end of last after losing a family member)
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Thanks for taking the time to post that mate, appreciated a lot
DBStar said:
Overthinking can be brutal for the mind. A few weeks ago, I read some advice about faulty thinking, saying stop imagining possibilities as certainties. I'm doing s large scale decorating project just now. I've saved hours since, not worrying about, or planning for, things that didn't happen. Whereas before I'd be researching how to deal with consequences if something went wrong and buying expensive tools etc ready for it.
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It’s rough yeah. I’ve tried all sorts but just can’t kick it. That’s good thinking that yeah. Thanks
 
My brothers been really bad with stomach issues for a few months and tbh he looks like death has lost a ton of weight, etc. Anyway on Sunday he basically said he wanted to die the family kinda played it off but I saw it was genuine. Then today in lifes external mission to try and grind whatever spirit is left my employer have bent over backwards for an a client and chucked me under the bus. Even though that bunch of gits have basically been a complete prick to me. It's been a shite few years.

At this point the only thing that motivates is spite and crisp sarnies.
 
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