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Depression thread continued...


MustardAndOnions said:
Yeah it’s a fair point like, I can usually deal with the mild effects, but I think I ignored the warning signings for sure,

I had bit of time off between jobs, and love to travel, but I was struggling to decide where to go, to abnormal levels, it’s like anxiety over like trivial leisure stuff. So made a panic decision

Which has just gotten worse. I’ve spent fair bit to get here and can barley function, it’s not ideal!

I think I need to take more practical responsibly for when it appears for sure.

The anxiety is worse than the depression I think, not like either is great!

I’m even rambling in this post sorry
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Yeah it's difficult, everyone has their own little ways of doing things and working out what's best but when it hits you can be pretty tough to work through sometimes.

Hope you pick up and enjoy your travels though.
 
Chatty83 said:
Yeah it's difficult, everyone has their own little ways of doing things and working out what's best but when it hits you can be pretty tough to work through sometimes.

Hope you pick up and enjoy your travels though.
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Thanks mate. Tried a stroll today.

The issue is it’s a little trio going from town to town which involves loads of decisions, which I’m incapable of making

Start a new job soon, Christ I need to be ok by then

Thanks for the replies mate it’s really appreciated
 
Chatty83 said:
Yeah it's difficult, everyone has their own little ways of doing things and working out what's best but when it hits you can be pretty tough to work through sometimes.

Hope you pick up and enjoy your travels though.
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The final line above is key, it's about picking yourself up so you enjoy where you are.
MustardAndOnions said:
Thanks mate. Tried a stroll today.

The issue is it’s a little trio going from town to town which involves loads of decisions, which I’m incapable of making

Start a new job soon, Christ I need to be ok by then

Thanks for the replies mate it’s really appreciated
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You will be ok with your new job. Don't bring yourself down about making decisions, you're putting pressure on yourself.
MustardAndOnions said:
Start a new job soon, Christ I need to be ok by then
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And don't let the new job start beome a mania, I seem to think it's playing on you. Forget about it & enjoy your break.
 
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Becs said:
Plodding on here. Got discharged from mental health team at the end of June and managing ok on my own.

Loved the Euro's. Was out working early but managing to get back for the early kick off. I was sitting down and watching a match, then flying around and doing household stuff in the break between matches before sitting down again. Made me realise the importance of resting. I still do that now. For example, rather than plough on and try and do all the garden jobs in one go, I'll do a bit, then sit down and have a drink, then go back and do a bit more. It's not as hard on my body that way. I need to accept I'm not well and physically can't do everything I want to do.

Enjoyed our holidays. Was good to get away with the bairn and we did loads of cool stuff. Still had one eye on works emails though as with being freelance, I'm never truly off work.

Work has been a disaster since my holidays due to late deliveries of stuff from couriers and clients changing dates willy nilly. I had worked booked in for week commencing the 19th Aug but didn't get the stuff till Friday 23rd, then I couldn't squeeze them into the short bank holiday week as I was fully booked. I've been getting hassled over the last week but have finally caught up and done those. This week I had work booked on Mon and Tues. Didn't get the Tues job stuff till late Tues afternoon and the Monday job box came on Wednesday. Managed to squeeze one store in on Thursday but now have to squeeze the rest into next week and I've already got a full diary. Declined a call in Middlesbrough this week as I didn't have time to drive all the way down there. A box of stuff for that store randomly turned up and the contact said it would be easier if I could do it rather than organising a courier collection and finding someone else to do it. Feel like I've been shafted there and that's another one to try and squeeze into next week. It's a short week as well as my car has a fault on it and it's booked into the garage on Wednesday so I can't work that day. I was supposed to be doing work on Wed, but it got postponed so I booked the garage, then it got put back on again, so I've got to squeeze that into Thurs or Fri which are already fully booked. Think it's made up my mind that I need to look for something else. I've put a few applications in for home working again but nothing has happened yet. Applied for one with a travel company doing back office admin with queries from people who've booked their holidays and the hosts abroad who do the tours etc. Got a nice personal reply saying no thanks but they had over 1200 applicants for that one! I'll keep looking and applying for anything I like the look of.

Need to start tackling all the jobs that have built up while I've been unwell this year. My bathroom cabinet was a bit of a disaster area. It's got first aid stuff, medicines and beauty stuff like micellar water and tweezers in it. Often when I opened it, loads of stuff would fall out. I'd be wanting to quickly wipe eye make up off on an evening and end up picking up plasters and stuff from all over the floor while muttering FFS man! Bought some plastic trays, chucked away the out of date stuff and everything is organised and doesn't fall out now. It only took 10-15 mins and lead me to think why couldn't I have done that sooner rather than getting annoyed every time I opened the cupboard! That lead me to think we need to celebrate the little wins as they encourage you to keep plodding on. Would a little wins thread help people?
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My entire house is a disaster area while I've been concentrating on sorting myself out. :D

As long as everything is clean, that's the main thing. Put yourself first.
 
Just fuck every decision up, always make the wrong decision, overthink stuff, I’m a total failure, can never think clearly, wasting days and my life, no idea what to do in general, every day I wake up and it’s just fuck sake here we go again. Wasted so many opportunities, Barely look at meself in the mirror at minute. Just totally and utterly useless. Feel totally alone even though got some great friends.

parents were so nice and supportive and couldn’t have done more for me. Fuckin useless

Sat on train just wanted to get my thoughts down, not a nice read but just useless man.
70s traveller said:
You haven't, a lot of people have that thought at some stage of their life. Truth is you're only letting them down by having that thought.Without knowing your parents I can guarantee they wouldn't think that.
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I’m fuckin useless mate honestly.
 
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MustardAndOnions said:
Just fuck every decision up, always make the wrong decision, overthink stuff, I’m a total failure, can never think clearly, wasting days and my life, no idea what to do in general, every day I wake up and it’s just fuck sake here we go again. Wasted so many opportunities, Barely look at meself in the mirror at minute. Just totally and utterly useless. Feel totally alone even though got some great friends.

parents were so nice and supportive and couldn’t have done more for me. Fuckin useless

Sat on train just wanted to get my thoughts down, not a nice read but just useless man.


I’m fuckin useless mate honestly.
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No you're not, you just begin thinking like that then make it worse. Like now, you have a quiet moment so your head uses it against yourself. By the simple fact you're posting this makes me think it's about when you have nothing to think about you move to unjustifiably attacking yourself for no reason. Think about the positives in your life and what you've enjoyed. I will get better.
 
70s traveller said:
No you're not, you just begin thinking like that then make it worse. Like now, you have a quiet moment so your head uses it against yourself. By the simple fact you're posting this makes me think it's about when you have nothing to think about you move to unjustifiably attacking yourself for no reason. Think about the positives in your life and what you've enjoyed. I will get better.
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Can’t see it mate

I appreciate you taking the time here.

I can’t see meself getting through this
 
MustardAndOnions said:
Can’t see it mate

I appreciate you taking the time here.

I can’t see meself getting through this
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What are your daily problems if you don't mind me asking? I'm asking because there may be a cause of your depression and anxiety that is being overlooked. There are many in this thread and the previous one who thought they were just depressed but turned out they were neurodivergent etc.
 
Becs said:
What's the thing with your parents? You feeling like you've let them down because of bad things that have happened, or you feeling like you've let them down because you're not living your life they way you want to live it, or something else?
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Well it’s just me mam. Feel like I worry her, as I’m just not like sorted in life, she should be doing her best to enjoy retirement but she’s probs worrying about me.

Dunno how to explain it

That’s just like a byproduct of it though.
 
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