Depression thread continued...

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

Thanks mate, If i've pissed him off so much he would turn against me I would hope he would at least tell me what I did to poke the bear that much. But if he doesn't talk to me from now on that's fine. Maybe he's not the mate I thought he was but I will give him the benefit of the doubt for now as he didn't come out last weekend as he had stuff going on. It's sad if our bromance ends this way but life doesn't sit still. I'm still gutted though and he hasn't dm'd me since.
It's a weird situation like chaps.. it seemed to come out of nowhere an innocent want to have a pint in another bar. still stunned about it.
Don't know what to next tbh

How are you feeling this morning mate?

 

[S.S.R..]

Just got in from a typical night out and my mate who i've been out with for the past year pretty much turned on me. We were in Rileys about an hour ago and i can't remember the details but i think he was on about the lasses in there and i said i wanted a pint of duff in spacebar and then he suddenly shoves me to the floor! his attitude became so cold and was telling me to get out.. so i gave myself a minute and went back and he said "do you want to die?" i asked him what i did and offered to buy him a drink but he still insisted for me to leave so i got a taxi and got back to where i'm writing this message now. He didn't go out last weekend because he had stuff going on and hope it's because of that.

I wouldn't be trying to work out what I'd done to offend someone like that. That's proper weird behaviour and I'd just be keeping away from him. Life's too short to be tolerating that shite more than once.

 

[Chatty83]

You had fallings out with your mate before or is this the first time out like this has happened.

He sounds like a prick going off that post but people can and do mad stuff they usually wouldn't at times.

You not got other mates. One piece of good advice I can give from a personal point of view is that if your mates are dragging you down or making you feel like shit then best thing to do is drop them. Plenty of sound people out there you can make mates with - maybes hang with work mates more, take up a hobbies or interest and you'll make mates through that etc.

 

[Roker SOL]

Yup, falling out over somehing minor that's a coffee or a pint to sort out shows there's a rabbit loose on the other side.

You've tried. Time to move on now.

 

[70s traveller]

You not got other mates. One piece of good advice I can give from a personal point of view is that if your mates are dragging you down or making you feel like shit then best thing to do is drop them. Plenty of sound people out there you can make mates with - maybes hang with work mates more, take up a hobbies or interest and you'll make mates through that etc.

Excellent & wise advice; people get brought down by their social life "friendships", work at gradually altering that group of associates and see the personal benefits.

Just got in from a typical night out and my mate who i've been out with for the past year pretty much turned on me. We were in Rileys about an hour ago and i can't remember the details but i think he was on about the lasses in there and i said i wanted a pint of duff in spacebar and then he suddenly shoves me to the floor! his attitude became so cold and was telling me to get out.. so i gave myself a minute and went back and he said "do you want to die?" i asked him what i did and offered to buy him a drink but he still insisted for me to leave so i got a taxi and got back to where i'm writing this message now. He didn't go out last weekend because he had stuff going on and hope it's because of that.

I've poured a drink in the flat and maybe come to realization a friendship has come to an end.. i'll leave him alone from now on and if he want's to keep in touch the ball is in his court really... just wish he would tell me what i did to fuck him off so much. Think im done with night's out for the foreseeable future it's a shame really because it's one of the limited options i had for meeting women.

Time to move away from that involvement, which you've realised. You'll find other routes to meet women.

 

[Mr Redknapp]

How are you feeling this morning mate?

just got up and feeling very confused, text him to apologise if i've said anything untoward but that's me done with alcohol for the foreseeable like. Not good sleeping in until 4pm on a sunday.

It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but would do it again (or similar) in the blink of an eye. My travel companions feel the same way it seems. 🏔

As I learned with my lady friend at the end of January, falling outs can be literally over nothing. In my case, her son's recent snooping behaviours that can only have been at her bidding (I don't know him at all) indicates beyond doubt I'm best rid.

Either they right themselves in time when people realise they've been silly or you move on.

Have you other mates you can reach out to, start again? That's how you move on without him.

aye just been texting them bud... it's confusing but if he won't talk I can't do anything but accept it and leave him alone. Not drinking for a while now, i used it as a coping mechanism for hoff but if i'm literally writing off a whole sunday because of it i'm done for the time being.

You had fallings out with your mate before or is this the first time out like this has happened.

He sounds like a prick going off that post but people can and do mad stuff they usually wouldn't at times.

You not got other mates. One piece of good advice I can give from a personal point of view is that if your mates are dragging you down or making you feel like shit then best thing to do is drop them. Plenty of sound people out there you can make mates with - maybes hang with work mates more, take up a hobbies or interest and you'll make mates through that etc.

First time mate, still confused but as i've probably said it's more the sleeping in till 4 and writing off your Sunday is the more pressing thing.

 

[CPLforever]

Thanks mate, If i've pissed him off so much he would turn against me I would hope he would at least tell me what I did to poke the bear that much. But if he doesn't talk to me from now on that's fine. Maybe he's not the mate I thought he was but I will give him the benefit of the doubt for now as he didn't come out last weekend as he had stuff going on. It's sad if our bromance ends this way but life doesn't sit still. I'm still gutted though and he hasn't dm'd me since.
It's a weird situation like chaps.. it seemed to come out of nowhere an innocent want to have a pint in another bar. still stunned about it.
Don't know what to next tbh

Remember you can only be responsible for your own actions, not his. Whatever you may or may not have done (and by your recollection it was suggesting going to another pub - so nothing). His actions were not warranted so try not to obsess over it. Have you got a mutualfriend who could maybe act as a sort of mediator, get to the bottom of it?

 

[Mr Redknapp]

Remember you can only be responsible for your own actions, not his. Whatever you may or may not have done (and by your recollection it was suggesting going to another pub - so nothing). His actions were not warranted so try not to obsess over it. Have you got a mutualfriend who could maybe act as a sort of mediator, get to the bottom of it?

I genuinely think it was over nothing because I remember people helping me up and being in shock. Yep good advice as ever on here. I've had a bad week before last night but that's life I guess. Not really mate our mutual friends were there last night..a lass who works in another pub was talking to him after he did it but no idea what was said. I'm overthinking it because of the horrible time I've had recently seems another thing that's gone wrong in he last couple of years since Hoff passed away.
Maybe it's karma for upsetting a friend of mine at work this week

 

[Roker SOL]

Just got in from a typical night out and my mate who i've been out with for the past year pretty much turned on me. We were in Rileys about an hour ago and i can't remember the details but i think he was on about the lasses in there and i said i wanted a pint of duff in spacebar and then he suddenly shoves me to the floor! his attitude became so cold and was telling me to get out.. so i gave myself a minute and went back and he said "do you want to die?" i asked him what i did and offered to buy him a drink but he still insisted for me to leave so i got a taxi and got back to where i'm writing this message now. He didn't go out last weekend because he had stuff going on and hope it's because of that.

I've poured a drink in the flat and maybe come to realization a friendship has come to an end.. i'll leave him alone from now on and if he want's to keep in touch the ball is in his court really... just wish he would tell me what i did to fuck him off so much. Think im done with night's out for the foreseeable future it's a shame really because it's one of the limited options i had for meeting women.
Had a horrible week to start with and tonight happens...

I'm just reading that bit in bold back.

He hasn't misheard you when you said that and thought you said something else?

When I did my trip, I'd got past a really difficult stretch. I'd gone for a wee ("Poli Poli" became a running joke for "slowly slowly"; we were also saying "pissy pissy" for a wee and a favourite of mine was "a poo with a view" - nowhere to conceal yourself) and I muttered "Kilimanjaro, you're my bitch now".

One of the younger lasses had fired some quite meaty banter at me just before and she thought I'd called her a bitch in response. I quickly sorted the situation by saying I'd said "pissy pissy", which I had just beforehand.

The point I'm making is a mis-hear can cause a few problems. Even then, the situation you describe was an easily sorted situation and I think he's gone over the top even if he did mishear.

 

[Deleted member 48572]

I'm 3 weeks in to taking them. The first week was really rough with side effects but now they seem to making a real difference. I still have all the same problems as I had before but I'm not catastrophising everything like I was before. I'm better at dealing with the things I can improve and forgetting about the things I can't.

I was worried about not being myself on medication but now realise I haven't been myself for a long time and I'm actually more like myself now than I have been in years.


I hope they help you to cope better mate. Keep us updated.

I’m just finishing day 3 now of sertraline.

First day I was dizzy and tension in my head, but not a headache.

Next 2 days I felt drowsy a couple of hours after taking them but that settled and then I became anxious. It’s like I’ve drank too much coffee. I was overwhelmed when my wife was trying to chat about which days we needed for holiday club for the kids. It felt like an interrogation when I know it wasn’t. I had to politely ask her to stop for a bit. That wasn’t like me at all and it’s definitely doing something.

On the plus side, the depression has subsided a bit I think. It’s a weird feeling and so far not necessarily for the better yet. I feel like a loose cannon so I’m meditating to attempt to regulate that.

 

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

I’m just finishing day 3 now of sertraline.

First day I was dizzy and tension in my head, but not a headache.

Next 2 days I felt drowsy a couple of hours after taking them but that settled and then I became anxious. It’s like I’ve drank too much coffee. I was overwhelmed when my wife was trying to chat about which days we needed for holiday club for the kids. It felt like an interrogation when I know it wasn’t. I had to politely ask her to stop for a bit. That wasn’t like me at all and it’s definitely doing something.

On the plus side, the depression has subsided a bit I think. It’s a weird feeling and so far not necessarily for the better yet. I feel like a loose cannon so I’m meditating to attempt to regulate that.

Keep at it mate and give it a chance. On day 3 or 4 I wanted to stop taking them because it was hard to function properly at work but it passed. I seem to be very tired during the day even now which isn't ideal. I dose off for half an hour on the sofa after work most days.

 

[Mr Redknapp]

I'm just reading that bit in bold back.

He hasn't misheard you when you said that and thought you said something else?

When I did my trip, I'd got past a really difficult stretch. I'd gone for a wee ("Poli Poli" became a running joke for "slowly slowly"; we were also saying "pissy pissy" for a wee and a favourite of mine was "a poo with a view" - nowhere to conceal yourself) and I muttered "Kilimanjaro, you're my bitch now".

One of the younger lasses had fired some quite meaty banter at me just before and she thought I'd called her a bitch in response. I quickly sorted the situation by saying I'd said "pissy pissy", which I had just beforehand.

The point I'm making is a mis-hear can cause a few problems. Even then, the situation you describe was an easily sorted situation and I think he's gone over the top even if he did mishear.

Think so, to turn against me like that was sudden as hell. Text him yesterday and he's obviously ignored it so I might not even know. Like I've said earlier it's been a ropey time the last couple of weeks and this hasn't helped matters. I'm using it as an positive to stop drinking .

Thanks for the advice mate. Hope you're doing ok
He's just text me.. saying hoping I'm ok and too much alcohol involved . I'm going to tell him it's cool and still want to hang out but no more alcohol or late nights for me.

 

[D.A]

Think so, to turn against me like that was sudden as hell. Text him yesterday and he's obviously ignored it so I might not even know. Like I've said earlier it's been a ropey time the last couple of weeks and this hasn't helped matters. I'm using it as an positive to stop drinking .

Thanks for the advice mate. Hope you're doing ok
He's just text me.. saying hoping I'm ok and too much alcohol involved . I'm going to tell him it's cool and still want to hang out but no more alcohol or late nights for me.

I'm pleased he got in touch. No point falling out over a drink.

 

[Mr Redknapp]

I'm pleased he got in touch. No point falling out over a drink.

It was a quick text to check on me and ended with take care. I said I'm still very confused if I did anything he should say. Heard nothing since. The door is always open though and want to lose my gut ive had since drinking

 

[Turner the Cat]

One piece of good advice I can give from a personal point of view is that if your mates are dragging you down or making you feel like shit then best thing to do is drop them. Plenty of sound people out there you can make mates with - maybes hang with work mates more, take up a hobbies or interest and you'll make mates through that etc.

Very sound advice. I've read scientific studies that say our friends have a big influence on our behaviours and mental but also physical health so we should try and have friends that we aspire to be like.

I always used to attract tragic, alcoholic and womanising friends because thats exactly what I was like.

Unfortunately, we cant pick our family and while sometimes they can be a great help, they can also be a challenge for our wellbeing as well!

 

[MustardAndOnions]

Hi,

Can I ask a specific question, for those that are on medication long term for depression or anxiety, like how does it actually feel, what does it do that makes you feel better?

Does it help you numb those feelings or does it just make you a like zombified.

I need to give it ago long term most likely I am just scared about being too reliant on them

 

[Turner the Cat]

Hi,

Can I ask a specific question, for those that are on medication long term for depression or anxiety, like how does it actually feel, what does it do that makes you feel better?

Does it help you numb those feelings or does it just make you a like zombified.

I need to give it ago long term most likely I am just scared about being too reliant on them

Happy to give my perspective.

After heavy drug and drink abuse in my teens I ended up with severe anxiety and depression and ended up on anti depressants. I took them on and off for a few years and have now been on them for several years.

I can only speak from personal experience. I believe it makes me more balanced and less prone to mood swings. It hasnt turned me into a zombie and it doesnt make me numb to pleasure and pain.

I do not know of any long-term risks associated with being on antidepressants although one neds to be careful if and when you stop taking them as there can be withdrawal symptoms.

I expect to be on them for the rest of my life which I'm absolutely fine with. They just help me to be more balanced.

There are two types of anti depressants SRRIs and SNRIs. SRRIs aim to regulate seretonin levels while SNRIs also regulate noradrenaline. I take an SNRI because I find this helps better with something called diurnal mood variation (morning depression) and I believe SRRIs gave me fatigue.

Taking antidepressants should really only be part of a wider approach to looking at ones mental health and for me are not a silver bullet. Its important to also look at diet, exercise, work/life balance, social connections etc as well. I found CBT particularly useful in exploring and challenging negative thought patterns and starting to think more positively.

 

[MustardAndOnions]

Happy to give my perspective.

After heavy drug and drink abuse in my teens I ended up with severe anxiety and depression and ended up on anti depressants. I took them on and off for a few years and have now been on them for several years.

I can only speak from personal experience. I believe it makes me more balanced and less prone to mood swings. It hasnt turned me into a zombie and it doesnt make me numb to pleasure and pain.

I do not know of any long-term risks associated with being on antidepressants although one neds to be careful if and when you stop taking them as there can be withdrawal symptoms.

I expect to be on them for the rest of my life which I'm absolutely fine with. They just help me to be more balanced.

There are two types of anti depressants SRRIs and SNRIs. SRRIs aim to regulate seretonin levels while SNRIs also regulate noradrenaline. I take an SNRI because I find this helps better with something called diurnal mood variation (morning depression) and I believe SRRIs gave me fatigue.

Taking antidepressants should really only be part of a wider approach to looking at ones mental health and for me are not a silver bullet. Its important to also look at diet, exercise, work/life balance, social connections etc as well. I found CBT particularly useful in exploring and challenging negative thought patterns and starting to think more positively.

Thanks for taking the time to write that, much appreciated. Very interesting for sure. I think the point about coming off then worries me slightly, I could see myself just going off them after a while.

 

[Turner the Cat]

Thanks for taking the time to write that, much appreciated. Very interesting for sure. I think the point about coming off then worries me slightly, I could see myself just going off them after a while.

I've come off SRRIs a few times and its been absolutely fine for me personally but its not the same for everyone. However, old mental health issues soon returned. I believe coming off SNRIs is a lot harder and ive not done that before.

 

[Keeping the Faith]

Hi,

Can I ask a specific question, for those that are on medication long term for depression or anxiety, like how does it actually feel, what does it do that makes you feel better?

Does it help you numb those feelings or does it just make you a like zombified.

I need to give it ago long term most likely I am just scared about being too reliant on them

I've been on SSRI antidepressants for the past 14 years. Before that I'd be on them, feel much better, come off them(encouraged by GP), be fine for a few months then slowly drift downwards, not wanting to admit to myself that it was happening again. I'd go back the GP once i was really struggling to function, feeling a total failure. I then got a GP I really trusted (got the feeling she'd maybe experienced something similar herself) and said that I didn't want to feel under any pressure to come off them anymore. She agreed and when she moved on I was very forthright with my new GP. For me, they give a kind of 'cling film' protection. I can have down times, but don't get completely consumed by the anxiety and depression. It probably damps down the good feelings a little too, but for me, it's worth it to be shielded from the desperate lows.