Chemo. Maybe no more

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Well Foggy as always very humble about summit we don’t understand and hopefully never have to.
Good luck to you Foggy, were all with you and these posts are a kick up the arse to us all who have our priority’s all screwed up.
 
foggy said:
I think it would have been 38. I didn’t really say much during the last two as they were tablet form. Nowhere near the hell that is the infusion based stuff that was due to go in now.

A recap. I had a scan back at the beginning of last month which showed control in the peri mets but not the liver. Then I was supposed to go back on to Folfox infusions but a bad liver blood diagnosis put paid to that. Well that and me turning up blinking trying to hide the pain in front of the not to be fooled chemo nurses.

Then a wait to see oncologist last week who said I could go ahead at the risk of damage to my liver. Like the bad type of damage. It’s giving me plenty of gyp anyway so fuck it. I take steroids to try and control the liver ‘capsule’ pain. These keep me awake and have mood affects but they work.

Another call this morning to cancel today’s treatment. Liver still no good. Bollocks.

The rest of my pain has hit new heights meaning a few visits from Macmillan to try and get a hold on it. Next visit is tomorrow. It’s all made worse by eating but I find that as necessary as everyone else. I’ve lost weight again although the steroids have got my sweet tooth buzzing.

I’m also pretty much housebound. No longer able to walk the dog. Movement ramps up the pain levels so unless there is a wonder drug to come then this is my lot. Accept and move on. I have plenty of help with the dog so I can enjoy the company side of things. She goes without nothing in the exercise stakes. My network of family and friends are tippety top. Plus she’s the world’s best dog so they love having her.

The bairn has been up and around before she goes back for post grad. I’m still up in the air about the degree result. When most things in life are a bit tough then the good bits shine out like a beacon.

I’m obsessed with leaving things organised. For her. Inheritance. The homey house stuff. It’s like a big bag pack. I’m long past the scared of death phase. I had anxiety last year but not now. I found the best way was to let the fear and desperation have its time. I couldn’t stop it happening so it was welcome to run its course. And it always did. I can’t stay scared of the same monster. It just becomes familiar. Unwanted but familiar.

I managed two outings to Northumberland. First with Bec in July. Then with our lass at the end of August. Just as Storm Bitchtits was here pissing down. The last one was tough pain wise but the cottage was cosy as.

Just off a video call with GP. The same GP who couldn’t sanction a scan back when I was 47. Yes really. To look and no doubt discover the first tumour. Instead I had an emergency op later on which allowed the baddies to plant themselves elsewhere leading to where I am now. Bygones. I could stress about it but it never helps.


All the best
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Always great to hear from you foggy.
I hope everyone can do what they can to make things as comfortable as possible for you. The lads actually getting some wins on the table would be nice!

Not to take anything away from you, but as it turns out, my sister in law has a terminal cancer diagnosis. She turned 50 in July and it's not likely she'll see the year out. All in all it's a bit shit.
She's getting things sorted and has some good network around her - and some which are monumental millstones but hopefully they'll come good.

All the best, chief. Keep buggering on!
 
foggy said:
I think it would have been 38. I didn’t really say much during the last two as they were tablet form. Nowhere near the hell that is the infusion based stuff that was due to go in now.

A recap. I had a scan back at the beginning of last month which showed control in the peri mets but not the liver. Then I was supposed to go back on to Folfox infusions but a bad liver blood diagnosis put paid to that. Well that and me turning up blinking trying to hide the pain in front of the not to be fooled chemo nurses.

Then a wait to see oncologist last week who said I could go ahead at the risk of damage to my liver. Like the bad type of damage. It’s giving me plenty of gyp anyway so fuck it. I take steroids to try and control the liver ‘capsule’ pain. These keep me awake and have mood affects but they work.

Another call this morning to cancel today’s treatment. Liver still no good. Bollocks.

The rest of my pain has hit new heights meaning a few visits from Macmillan to try and get a hold on it. Next visit is tomorrow. It’s all made worse by eating but I find that as necessary as everyone else. I’ve lost weight again although the steroids have got my sweet tooth buzzing.

I’m also pretty much housebound. No longer able to walk the dog. Movement ramps up the pain levels so unless there is a wonder drug to come then this is my lot. Accept and move on. I have plenty of help with the dog so I can enjoy the company side of things. She goes without nothing in the exercise stakes. My network of family and friends are tippety top. Plus she’s the world’s best dog so they love having her.

The bairn has been up and around before she goes back for post grad. I’m still up in the air about the degree result. When most things in life are a bit tough then the good bits shine out like a beacon.

I’m obsessed with leaving things organised. For her. Inheritance. The homey house stuff. It’s like a big bag pack. I’m long past the scared of death phase. I had anxiety last year but not now. I found the best way was to let the fear and desperation have its time. I couldn’t stop it happening so it was welcome to run its course. And it always did. I can’t stay scared of the same monster. It just becomes familiar. Unwanted but familiar.

I managed two outings to Northumberland. First with Bec in July. Then with our lass at the end of August. Just as Storm Bitchtits was here pissing down. The last one was tough pain wise but the cottage was cosy as.

Just off a video call with GP. The same GP who couldn’t sanction a scan back when I was 47. Yes really. To look and no doubt discover the first tumour. Instead I had an emergency op later on which allowed the baddies to plant themselves elsewhere leading to where I am now. Bygones. I could stress about it but it never helps.


All the best
Click to expand...
Loads of love, hugs and best wishes xx
 
Keawyeds said:
Always great to hear from you foggy.
I hope everyone can do what they can to make things as comfortable as possible for you. The lads actually getting some wins on the table would be nice!

Not to take anything away from you, but as it turns out, my sister in law has a terminal cancer diagnosis. She turned 50 in July and it's not likely she'll see the year out. All in all it's a bit shit.
She's getting things sorted and has some good network around her - and some which are monumental millstones but hopefully they'll come good.

All the best, chief. Keep buggering on!
Click to expand...

So sorry to hear this my good man. If it’s any help the finality of it can be a help. Eventually it becomes the norm and there is time to sort things out.
And to love the ones who deserve the love like nothing else.
 
All the best Foggy
You just wonder how many gps are absolutely useless ,I know mine cost me my health for a while
My family and friends said go to another practice, fuck that I want him to see me and remind him
Just hope he wont make mistake again on someone else
 
Thinking of you mate. Hope I'd have this much dignity facing the same situation. The need to organise things for our loved ones gives us comfort that we've done our best which ultimately is all we can do. I am sure your daughter will appreciate everything you have done for her. Stay strong fella.
 
Don’t know what I can add that hasn’t already been said Foggy, all the best mate.
 
Your dog sounds class.

Whenever you post anything, your pride in your daughter shines through.

Storm bitchtits made me laugh.
 
foggy said:
So sorry to hear this my good man. If it’s any help the finality of it can be a help. Eventually it becomes the norm and there is time to sort things out.
And to love the ones who deserve the love like nothing else.
Click to expand...

You're a gentleman and a scholar.
 
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