At a Loss

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Tinder

Join gym
Join a local running club
Join a football team or 5 a side
Go to the match
Take up a hobby
Go nightclasses
Loads of ways to meet people , don’t waste these years mate and look back with regret later
 
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The Rat said:
Got to be honest struggling a bit here.

No social group, feel like no mates, or at least not in one place all together.

Back in a mundane job, work from home, so no interaction with anyone. Jobs going nowhere, shite money, feel way behind my peers. But I’ve got no plan of what I wanna do or progress.

Nae Lass, nae plan, nae motivation, absolutely nothing planned till Christmas Day, literally

I’ve thought about many things over years, going to work remotely from abroad which maybe I could do, or all this type of shite, but not sure I’ve got any confidence left to do out.

Im 31 and I just feel like it’s going nowhere and I’m wasting me life and have wasted it so far. But no motivation to do fuck all. Feel totally alone but at the same time finding it hard to motivate to wanna talk to anyone.

Fed up!
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  1. Speak to a qualified person about this problem. It needs dealing with as much as any physical condition
  2. Find some social activities you can sign up to that will get you out of your gaff and meeting people
  3. Exercise
 
I feel like that sometimes but I use alcohol as a crutch and it solves all my problems... until I sober up... probably why I'm pissed all the time.

Learn Chess
Learn a musical instument
 
The Rat said:
Got to be honest struggling a bit here.

No social group, feel like no mates, or at least not in one place all together.

Back in a mundane job, work from home, so no interaction with anyone. Jobs going nowhere, shite money, feel way behind my peers. But I’ve got no plan of what I wanna do or progress.

Nae Lass, nae plan, nae motivation, absolutely nothing planned till Christmas Day, literally

I’ve thought about many things over years, going to work remotely from abroad which maybe I could do, or all this type of shite, but not sure I’ve got any confidence left to do out.

Im 31 and I just feel like it’s going nowhere and I’m wasting me life and have wasted it so far. But no motivation to do fuck all. Feel totally alone but at the same time finding it hard to motivate to wanna talk to anyone.

Fed up!
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You're never alone with the SMB marra.
 
Ever thought of getting a dog...gets you out...best thing you can do if you are working from home..you will meet lots of other dog walkers...plus it’s a reason to get out of bed on a morning
 
The Rat said:
Got to be honest struggling a bit here.

No social group, feel like no mates, or at least not in one place all together.

Back in a mundane job, work from home, so no interaction with anyone. Jobs going nowhere, shite money, feel way behind my peers. But I’ve got no plan of what I wanna do or progress.

Nae Lass, nae plan, nae motivation, absolutely nothing planned till Christmas Day, literally

I’ve thought about many things over years, going to work remotely from abroad which maybe I could do, or all this type of shite, but not sure I’ve got any confidence left to do out.

Im 31 and I just feel like it’s going nowhere and I’m wasting me life and have wasted it so far. But no motivation to do fuck all. Feel totally alone but at the same time finding it hard to motivate to wanna talk to anyone.

Fed up!
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Without trying to sound like a twat, just do stuff mate. Fuck what other people think.

I work with a lad from Scotland who moved to Durham. He didn't know a single person and just got himself on Facebook and found a Sunday league side and baseball club. He literally just turned up by himself and started cracking on. Now he's no shortage of stuff to do or people to meet up with. I wouldn't even say he's that massively confident either. Just give it a go.
 
The Rat said:
Got to be honest struggling a bit here.

No social group, feel like no mates, or at least not in one place all together.

Back in a mundane job, work from home, so no interaction with anyone. Jobs going nowhere, shite money, feel way behind my peers. But I’ve got no plan of what I wanna do or progress.

Nae Lass, nae plan, nae motivation, absolutely nothing planned till Christmas Day, literally

I’ve thought about many things over years, going to work remotely from abroad which maybe I could do, or all this type of shite, but not sure I’ve got any confidence left to do out.

Im 31 and I just feel like it’s going nowhere and I’m wasting me life and have wasted it so far. But no motivation to do fuck all. Feel totally alone but at the same time finding it hard to motivate to wanna talk to anyone.

Fed up!
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Sounds like you have mates but they’re a bit widespread. Get on a train on a Friday after work and get out and about catching up with them over a few weekends. Mates don’t always need to be within touching distance. It’s the deeper connections that give more satisfaction.

And try and get a game of 5-a-side locally. Few new mates, a bit exercise to get the blood flowing and a pint after.
 
FishburnMackem said:
Sounds like you need something drastic, a big step, a change. Working remotely from abroad sounds a great idea, fuck the confidence mate, get it booked and go, the confidence will come when you realise how different life can be.
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No mates here and no mates there ( where ever there is) only warmer.
It takes work to have friends as they need to be made and or kept. We have lots of problems locally with isolation. Farmers ( not just them) for instance spending all day everyday by themselves causes lots of issues as they have time to over think stuff and less chance to " just do things"
Get your arse into gear, go to the baths, gym or get a dog. Lasses love dogs and it's a topper way to get talking to people ( especially if your dog loves dogs and people). If you don't want to own a dog, borrow one.
Google Cinnamon Trust, loads of dog walkers needed country wide for people who really need help with their dogs. Just walking them or fostering them if you have the time.
 
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Sotodave said:
Ever thought of getting a dog...gets you out...best thing you can do if you are working from home..you will meet lots of other dog walkers...plus it’s a reason to get out of bed on a morning
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Beat me to it. Pretty much exactly what I was going to say. It gives a routine too, because they know when it is walk time and will not leave you alone. Always a great welcome home.

Also, if it is a really cute one, lasses come up to talk to you. I remember at uni my neighbours bought a puppy but worked, so we agreed to walk and check in on it in the middle of the day. I needed to pop onto the campus for something so took this dog. It was only a few months old, golden lab puppy, pretty much an andrex dog. Loads of fit lasses were making a special effort to come and talk to me, it was great. I did computer science, girls usually stayed well clear of that department!
 
Get yourself a motorcycle and a license to ride one.

Then fuck work off for a month and go touring around Europe. I always head to warmer climates.

Within that month you will meet yourself and make peace.

Then get home start work and get the fuck out of the f***ing house and do something. Anything at all.

The pub or town on a weekend is a good start. Get drunk. Be a bloke.

Some new clobber haircut grow a beard etc.

Look the part and you'll feel the part.

It'll come all back mate don't worry.
 
I feel like wholesale changes when you’re in a rut like this isn’t the answer, as it’s avoiding your problems rather than tackling them.

If you enjoy football/cricket then is there any local clubs you can get involved with? Even if you can’t be arsed to play, helping out with the clubs, maybe doing a coaching course or something. With that comes aims and goals of being part of the club, this is something that has seen me get out of a rut when I felt I was living for work.

Also, if you’re renting then a change of scenery could help. Even just doing a bit of a decoration change in the home can help lift your mood.
As said above, haircut and some new clothes is another good way to steer you out of it.

It’s great that you’re talking about it as it’s 100% the way of identifying the issues and tackling them.
 
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SPUFF said:
Strange thing it is working from home like. I do it now 3/4 days a week.

Some I can make 50 phonecalls but not meet a soul. You often feel like you havent grafted bizzarely too.
Dont think its for everyone.

Good luck.
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I've done it for about 7 or 8 years. Can be a very isolating experience. There are days I never leave the house, but there are many pros as well.
 
Join a gym. Make sure you get on an exercise bike or treadmill behind a fit bird, whack your favourite tunes in ya lugs and go. Nows the time to neck the vitamin D as well.
 
LewisLad said:
In my opinion it's not enough, unless you can't wait to get out of bed and log on because your job is your passion, you need to go out of your way to get out the house during the day and on an evening or you can go a bit crazy. At least in my experience.

OP sounds like he needs to make a change and start getting out a bit more. Being cooped up and feeling miserable isn't good for you.
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Fair, just it helped me a fair bit.
 
The Rat said:
Got to be honest struggling a bit here.

No social group, feel like no mates, or at least not in one place all together.

Back in a mundane job, work from home, so no interaction with anyone. Jobs going nowhere, shite money, feel way behind my peers. But I’ve got no plan of what I wanna do or progress.

Nae Lass, nae plan, nae motivation, absolutely nothing planned till Christmas Day, literally

I’ve thought about many things over years, going to work remotely from abroad which maybe I could do, or all this type of shite, but not sure I’ve got any confidence left to do out.

Im 31 and I just feel like it’s going nowhere and I’m wasting me life and have wasted it so far. But no motivation to do fuck all. Feel totally alone but at the same time finding it hard to motivate to wanna talk to anyone.

Fed up!
Click to expand...
Been there myself mate, but without the job. First thing you need is a plan, then the motivation will follow and so will the lass/etc.
In all seriousness though Rat lad, I do get where you are coming from and know how to sort some of it. I had no mates either, so the social aspect of work has to suit, and reading your posts, you aint a boring git so you need people to develop yourself, and your confidence. I worked from home, shit money etc (tiler) and raising 2 kids as a single parent to boot - not me, change the job, it moulds who you are, its got to fit. Took a few jobs to find the right fit, but now working in a huge company has massively expanded my horizons - by talking to others. Example; I need a hobby, 2 fellow engineers i work with...one is a board game nerd (I used to play AD&D) has invited me to join his team lol, and another is an air cadet instructor and also wants me to join (I'm ex-RAF), so within a matter of weeks I have a "life" and cant wait for the rest of it. If you are a qualified Engineer PM me, otherwise just apply for Nissan lol. Remember Rat lad, never give up, you ARE the master of your own destiny.
 
Some Random Guy said:
OP, you thought about joining a group or club? Maybe doing some college short course in something?

It seems like you have a good idea on where the problems lie.


I get where you're coming from, my first thought was if he can't build a social life here then he's probably not going to have much luck abroad either, he'll have nicer weather though.
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"Where ever you go there you are" as the man says
 
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