Aspergers as an adult

[Deleted member 15970]

I can’t even tell when someone else is bored

Fortunately my family and friends know just to tell me to shut up

During my diagnostic process this was one of the big tells - apparently the psychologist was giving me many clues that he wanted me to stop talking about a particular thing and I didn't notice any of them!

I got my diagnosis aged about 50. It wasn't earth shattering for me because I had a son with ASD and I had done the self assessment Autism Spectrum Quotient quiz and I came out very, very high on that. It did help me understand myself a lot better, like why I keep analysing things to try and improve them (for instance my wife says I'm a frustrated road planner) and why I struggle with conversations; I need a bit of time to process what I hear then formulate my response - this is important for me because it feeds in to things like amending conversations with the shrink who is trying to deal with my anxiety and depression, indeed it was as part of this that I was referred for diagnostic evaluation in the first place. It also helped my wife understand that I can't help that pause before I speak and I'm not doing it to annoy her.

Ultimately you have to make the decision but I would advise going for the diagnostic evaluation as you already have talked about it with your wife and not having an answer would always niggle at the back of your mind.

 

[Fetch Fletch]

I got a diagnosis of aspergers (or Austin’s Spectrum Disorder as it’s officially known now)and I’m 35.

It answered so many questions and explained so much about why I am the way I am. It hasn’t stopped me counting to 10 every time I climb a staircase though.

In terms of benefits - only you can answer that really.

Thank fuck I am not alone

 

[chr1s1973]

I think the problem with diagnosing these kinds of things as an adult is it's hard for them to distinguish between learned behaviours and those which are natural to people.

I think that if you have damaging behaviours,then someone should be able to help with that,but it's hard to give an official diagnosis on the spectrum,not that it really matters as it's the effect these behaviours have on your life that are important,not what they are called.

 

[sadders]

I think the problem with diagnosing these kinds of things as an adult is it's hard for them to distinguish between learned behaviours and those which are natural to people.

I think that if you have damaging behaviours,then someone should be able to help with that,but it's hard to give an official diagnosis on the spectrum,not that it really matters as it's the effect these behaviours have on your life that are important,not what they are called.

I think it’s also hard for the person being assessed to know what’s learned and what’s natural. I have very little empathy but act like I do. I’ve found myself in situations where I now do the acting so naturally that I almost surprise myself and wonder if I do have empathy. Other times it’s almost like hearing the inner monologue say ‘right sadders, you’ve done this one before, time to act empathetic’. It’s hard to know where the real you stops and the learned behavior starts.

 

[Deleted member 23273]

I am becoming more and more concerned that I may have Aspergers. I am 47.

I've been concerned/curious about this for a long time but recently my daughter (20) who was diagnosed with Aspergers at 14 told me that she recognises a lot of the traits in me. This led me to do several different on-line tests. All top end of the spectrum, but it's hard to know if you are answering questions accurately or because you know what answers will lead towards a certain result. Hard to know if any answer answered is true or not as I feel like I have been acting and playing a part my whole life just to fit in.

Is there any point in asking for a referral at this point in life? Not sure what a diagnosis will do for me. Will it answer a lot of questions or will it mess with my head further? Are any positives and answers I may get from it outweigh the cost to the NHS of the diagnosis?

Has anyone on here been through this as an adult and got a diagnosis.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia at 40 while doing my Masters degree. That did answer a lot of questions for me and has allowed me to try and tailor my work towards my strengths and avoid the weaknesses.

A good mate of mine was diagnosed when he was 40. It only came to light as his two lads were being looked at. He referred himself. Said it made him a lot more comfortable with himself.

 

[THExpress]

 

[Scorer]

Diagnosis in adulthood might not have many obvious benefits like access to specific support or benefits but it seems to help a lot of people come to terms with feeling just a bit out of kilter with the world.
There's a blog called the autistic academic that has a good explanation of the personal impact and benefits, worth a read.

 

[chr1s1973]

I think it’s also hard for the person being assessed to know what’s learned and what’s natural. I have very little empathy but act like I do. I’ve found myself in situations where I now do the acting so naturally that I almost surprise myself and wonder if I do have empathy. Other times it’s almost like hearing the inner monologue say ‘right sadders, you’ve done this one before, time to act empathetic’. It’s hard to know where the real you stops and the learned behavior starts.

I don't know and I don't want to sound like I'm telling you how you feel,but what is empathy? You are a bit older than me,but we were generally raised in the North East to say,get on with it,don't be soft etc. As we get older and the world has changed,we have to acknowledge other people's suffering or whatever it in a far more sympathetic way than in the past.

Maybe having a label will help. I know that for me,in many ways when I was young I cared about things too much,so I toned it down so I didn't get hurt,this may be traits associated with things like depression. As such,I could say I lacked empathy, probably did as between the way I was raised and not wanting to get involved,I didn't actually care as much as I perceived others did.

I think the point I'm trying to make is,you are the person you are now. A product of your genes and the life you've lived. They can say you are x or y, but as I said,what I think counts at this stage is if you have behaviours that damage your life and if they offer treatment for that. Whereever they come from.

Seems like you want a diagnosis to validate your personality though. Maybe that will help you,but it seems like a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy to me.