Aspergers as an adult

Son of Stan said:
I used to work with a bloke for many years who was inflexible, moody, emotional if things didn't go right and could be downright rude to people. It was only when both of his kids were diagnosed with autism that we started to wonder if that went some way to explaining parts of his behaviour. Trouble is he also had the absolute knacker gene too. :lol:
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Fella probably had a lifetime of confusion and intolerant wankers making him that way tbh, have you never thought why different people react to things in different ways, it takes allsorts this life.
 


George Kaplan said:
You already are an example for your daughter:

You say that she recognises some of her behaviours/symptoms in you? Then perhaps you already understand, to a great extent, what she needs. You’re already role modelling and you already obviously care.

Would putting a label on it help?

I realise that’s crass and probably unhelpful but seriously, would disgnosis imbue you with a greater degree of empathy, help her get what she needs, enable greater understanding? Yes/No? Would it help you or make you feel better?

Only you know that.

Whatever path you choose it’ll be the right one.
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Honestly, I don’t know.

When I was diagnosed with dyslexia it opened my eyes. It told me that I wasn’t necessarily thick. I knew I wasn’t thick but always suspected I was (if that makes sense). It allowed me to reassess where I stood with my career and made me prioritize the things I knew I could do well and move away from the things I couldn’t. It answered a lot of questions I had and in some ways, even though it made no difference to my abilities, was quite empowering. I wonder if finding out if I have/haven’t got aspergers would do the same. Or it may just serve as excuse to myself why I haven’t got to where I hoped I would be by this age. I honestly don’t know.
 
sadders said:
Honestly, I don’t know.

When I was diagnosed with dyslexia it opened my eyes. It told me that I wasn’t necessarily thick. I knew I wasn’t thick but always suspected I was (if that makes sense). It allowed me to reassess where I stood with my career and made me prioritize the things I knew I could do well and move away from the things I couldn’t. It answered a lot of questions I had and in some ways, even though it made no difference to my abilities, was quite empowering. I wonder if finding out if I have/haven’t got aspergers would do the same. Or it may just serve as excuse to myself why I haven’t got to where I hoped I would be by this age. I honestly don’t know.
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Did you know beforehand that the Dyslexia assessment would open your eyes?

You may also be wise to heed the personal experiences and guidance of others on this board who’ve been through similar conundrums.

I just ask questions in attempting to be helpful; others, to an extent have found their answers. I hope you find yours.
 
Unbalanced Views said:
I'd agree with that, we all have traits or other peculiarities that if analysed would be to some degree classified as Autistic or Aspergers - I find it impossible to not count things, for example how many matches in a box, how many coins in my pocket, that sort of thing
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We all count stuff, its pretty common but perhaps viewed as a bit weird :lol:.
 
George Kaplan said:
Did you know beforehand that the Dyslexia assessment would open your eyes?

You may also be wise to heed the personal experiences and guidance of others on this board who’ve been through similar conundrums.

I just ask questions in attempting to be helpful; others, to an extent have found their answers. I hope you find yours.
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Not really. Just thought I had poor literacy skills (yes I know that’s what dyslexia is but I hadn’t put 2 and 2 together). A dyslexia colleague spotted it in me and suggested assessment.

I hadn’t really considered aspergers (even though I have a lot of the traits) until my daughter recognsed it in me. It’s really got me thinking and looking back at my childhood etc.
 
sadders said:
Honestly, I don’t know.

When I was diagnosed with dyslexia it opened my eyes. It told me that I wasn’t necessarily thick. I knew I wasn’t thick but always suspected I was (if that makes sense). It allowed me to reassess where I stood with my career and made me prioritize the things I knew I could do well and move away from the things I couldn’t. It answered a lot of questions I had and in some ways, even though it made no difference to my abilities, was quite empowering. I wonder if finding out if I have/haven’t got aspergers would do the same. Or it may just serve as excuse to myself why I haven’t got to where I hoped I would be by this age. I honestly don’t know.
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There's no need to make excuses for where you are in life. It's just figuring out what you are happy and unhappy with and what things you can change.

I was trying to push myself professionally into stuff I couldn't deal with. Now I've got a better idea of the type of things I want to do and what will suit me. The assessment might help me with that too but either way I'm the same person having to deal with the same shit.

sadders said:
Not really. Just thought I had poor literacy skills (yes I know that’s what dyslexia is but I hadn’t put 2 and 2 together). A dyslexia colleague spotted it in me and suggested assessment.

I hadn’t really considered aspergers (even though I have a lot of the traits) until my daughter recognsed it in me. It’s really got me thinking and looking back at my childhood etc.
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I'd say go for it, the answers might put your mind at rest and help you make sense of some stuff. I don't really see a downside. It's not urgent and it'll be a long wait for an NHS assessment so you can always change your mind.
 
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sadders said:
I am becoming more and more concerned that I may have Aspergers. I am 47.

I've been concerned/curious about this for a long time but recently my daughter (20) who was diagnosed with Aspergers at 14 told me that she recognises a lot of the traits in me. This led me to do several different on-line tests. All top end of the spectrum, but it's hard to know if you are answering questions accurately or because you know what answers will lead towards a certain result. Hard to know if any answer answered is true or not as I feel like I have been acting and playing a part my whole life just to fit in.

Is there any point in asking for a referral at this point in life? Not sure what a diagnosis will do for me. Will it answer a lot of questions or will it mess with my head further? Are any positives and answers I may get from it outweigh the cost to the NHS of the diagnosis?

Has anyone on here been through this as an adult and got a diagnosis.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia at 40 while doing my Masters degree. That did answer a lot of questions for me and has allowed me to try and tailor my work towards my strengths and avoid the weaknesses.
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My daughter wants to film a documentary about aspergers as she has a touch of it and a few of her mates do (she was in Havana earlier this year learning how to make documentaries) - my limited understanding of it is that a lot more people have it than are diagnosed, most people who have it just think they have odd behavior or habits and live with it. I think in your case worth getting a proper medical review and move on from there.
 
Man About Town said:
Fella probably had a lifetime of confusion and intolerant wankers making him that way tbh, have you never thought why different people react to things in different ways, it takes allsorts this life.
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Of course it does and I'm sure some of his behaviour can be explained. However it doesn't excuse him behaving like an arse at other times - such as his patronising attempts to communicate with a group of learning disabled teenagers by shouting at them and talking slowly. As one of them actually said to him 'I'm daft, not deaf.' Direct quote.
 
I often half-joke that I’m on the spectrum as I have a few “quirks” that are present in people with mild ASD conditions. However, both my kids have similar quirks and are both pretty sharp/advanced so I think it’s just familial character traits.

One of my mates is definitely undiagnosed Aspergers, probably even full blown autism. Never had a girlfriend, lives at home, hates social situations, never had a job until he was about 27 or 28 (he’ll be 35 in November) and has a bizarre Artistic talent that can only be described as savant-like. We’ve mentioned it to him a few times but he refuses to go to the docs and his mum is in total denial about it.
 
Stop doing online tests man. Youve made it this far, just get on with it and stop looking for excuses. Were all wierdos in some way. I scored 32 on that test btw but i dont care, I am what i am ;-p
 
I work with supporting ASC adults in my current role. I am a mental health and Autism specialist.

I will state that a lot of responses in this thread treat ASC as something that only effects work or education, but it is not.

I would strongly reccomend getting a diagnosis.

It usually takes a while so get the diagnostic process started.

There are lots of benefits of a diagnosis even at late ages. Coping strategies, peace of mind, anxiety management.

The benefits of reading up on the subject and seeking advice (and motivation to do so) often comes from knowing it relates to you.

If you are not ASC then it may even provide peace of mind knowing that there are not necessarily hereditary aspects of ASC. It depends on the individual and it is your choice.
 

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