• The forums will be unavailable for a few hours on Saturday 6th June, when they do return they will initially be in a degraded state with some features missing, but normal posting/reading will be possible. The main website will not be affected by these updates.
    New user registrations are currently disabled.
    Some other features of the forum are also currently disabled.

Depression thread continued...


Charlestonian said:
Could you have a bit crack with her about or are you worried about scaring her off?
Click to expand...
Tried to explain to her the best I could tonight and feeling better about it now. She has insecurities too so was pretty understanding. Hopefully just a little blip after a decent couple of months for my mental health compared to the last few years.
Hetty said:
You must be logged on to see media items
Click to expand...
Great to see the club using their social media presence to promote this organisations good work. The more people it reaches the better.
 
Last edited:
Gennaro Savastano said:
Tried to explain to her the best I could tonight and feeling better about it now. She has insecurities too so was pretty understanding. Hopefully just a little blip after a decent couple of months for my mental health compared to the last few years.

Great to see the club using their social media presence to promote this organisations good work. The more people it reaches the better.
Click to expand...
One thing is for certain we all have some kind of baggage and it’s good that you have had a conversation it’s the start that both of you need. Keep being open with each other communication is why most relationships fail.
 
Good evening folks.
Hope we have all had a good week! My new job is going well so I’m happy about that. Still getting used to doing 12 hour night shifts but as long as I’m providing for my family I’m happy.

Mam had her first chemo last week and is doing ok but can’t go and see her as wife and son have been unwell and her immune system is so weak.

Dad has got shingles so it’s a bit of a nightmare over there at minute.

Hope we are all well as can be and plodding on.

Sending love to you all as always. Love Rhubarb. X
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
Had a huge dip in my mental health tonight just because of a brief conversation with the girl I have been seeing. I am certain she didn't mean anything negative and I've took it the wrong way but it's affected me massively anyway. Don't know whether to end things to protect us both or try to work on it. Feels like my insecurities will stop me having healthy relationships.
Click to expand...
Work on it, work on it. Hopefully you are catastrophising and it's not as bad as you think. Not to diminish your hurt or anything but maybe she didn't realise what she was saying would be so hurtful.

Unless you think she did but you'll never know unless you discuss.
Gennaro Savastano said:
Tried to explain to her the best I could tonight and feeling better about it now. She has insecurities too so was pretty understanding. Hopefully just a little blip after a decent couple of months for my mental health compared to the last few years.

Great to see the club using their social media presence to promote this organisations good work. The more people it reaches the better.
Click to expand...
Reading on i see my belated advice is not needed and you seem to have sorted everything.

Well done.
 
Last edited:
CPLforever said:
Work on it, work on it. Hopefully you are catastrophising and it's not as bad as you think. Not to diminish your hurt or anything but maybe she didn't realise what she was saying would be so hurtful.

Unless you think she did but you'll never know unless you discuss.

Reading on i see my belated advice is not needed and you seem to have sorted everything.

Well done.
Click to expand...

She absolutely had no intention of upsetting me and wasn't at fault at all. Just silly insecurities I have about my appearance.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
She absolutely had no intention of upsetting me and wasn't at fault at all. Just silly insecurities I have about my appearance.
Click to expand...
How you doing you handsome man. Hope you are well.
Well folks. I’m going to vent on here so I do apologise.

I’m not too great tonight like. Can’t sleep and listening to music with my headphones in bed.

Brain won’t switch off have to be up in few hours to take bairn to Preston to ride his motorbike.

I’ll be sound just wanted to vent a little cos I tell all my family I’m ok. They are going through enough at the minute without worrying about me.

As always sending love to everyone. X
 
Last edited:
Rhubarb said:
How you doing you handsome man. Hope you are well.
Well folks. I’m going to vent on here so I do apologise.

I’m not too great tonight like. Can’t sleep and listening to music with my headphones in bed.

Brain won’t switch off have to be up in few hours to take bairn to Preston to ride his motorbike.

I’ll be sound just wanted to vent a little cos I tell all my family I’m ok. They are going through enough at the minute without worrying about me.

As always sending love to everyone. X
Click to expand...
Aaaash I hate vehicles. It is like a vicious circle cos the more you worry about not being able to sleep and you have to get up early the more you can't sleep. Nightmare.
..literally
 
i'm on amitriptyline 3 tablets at night because i'm suffering from sciatica which is very painful, i'm having some really vivid dreams which apparently is quite common, any one else get them ?
 
I don’t really know if this is a good idea but I feel like maybe rambling on to a bunch of strangers on the internet might help.

My brother committed suicide this morning. He was only 32. I’m asking myself so many questions, did I do enough etc.

I’m struggling to comprehend why it’s happened and I can’t get the mental images out my head. I’m hoping it gets better with time. At the moment life doesn’t feel like it’s ever gunna be the same.

I hope anyone who’s feeling this way on here opens up and finds the help they need.
 
JC22 said:
I don’t really know if this is a good idea but I feel like maybe rambling on to a bunch of strangers on the internet might help.

My brother committed suicide this morning. He was only 32. I’m asking myself so many questions, did I do enough etc.

I’m struggling to comprehend why it’s happened and I can’t get the mental images out my head. I’m hoping it gets better with time. At the moment life doesn’t feel like it’s ever gunna be the same.

I hope anyone who’s feeling this way on here opens up and finds the help they need.
Click to expand...

That’s truly awful mate, sorry for your loss.

Can’t offer any help as much as I’d like to, but I echo your sentiments entirely, if anyone is reading this and struggling, please talk to someone, anyone, first.
 
JC22 said:
I don’t really know if this is a good idea but I feel like maybe rambling on to a bunch of strangers on the internet might help.

My brother committed suicide this morning. He was only 32. I’m asking myself so many questions, did I do enough etc.

I’m struggling to comprehend why it’s happened and I can’t get the mental images out my head. I’m hoping it gets better with time. At the moment life doesn’t feel like it’s ever gunna be the same.

I hope anyone who’s feeling this way on here opens up and finds the help they need.
Click to expand...
Oh my God that is horrible. I am on here to say, obviously I am so sorry for yours and your families loss but also to say if you need too, reach out, on here or elsewhere, ramble on talk about how you are feeling or indeed about him if you need too, I know it can be difficult in circumstances like this, sometimes, to talk about him with family.

But please don't ever be reticent about coming on here ever ever
 
JC22 said:
I don’t really know if this is a good idea but I feel like maybe rambling on to a bunch of strangers on the internet might help.

My brother committed suicide this morning. He was only 32. I’m asking myself so many questions, did I do enough etc.

I’m struggling to comprehend why it’s happened and I can’t get the mental images out my head. I’m hoping it gets better with time. At the moment life doesn’t feel like it’s ever gunna be the same.

I hope anyone who’s feeling this way on here opens up and finds the help they need.
Click to expand...
This will be the start of a long grieving period, you'll over-analyse every moment with your brother and question if you could have seen the signs, the sad truth is that most people don't until it's too late.

Hopefully you, your family and others part of your brother's life will find a way to process the grief.

If you're local and need a place to vent, I'll be at Andy's Man Club on Monday, we have others there that have gone through the same.
 
Springwell Mackem said:
This will be the start of a long grieving period, you'll over-analyse every moment with your brother and question if you could have seen the signs, the sad truth is that most people don't until it's too late.

Hopefully you, your family and others part of your brother's life will find a way to process the grief.

If you're local and need a place to vent, I'll be at Andy's Man Club on Monday, we have others there that have gone through the same.
Click to expand...
Hi mate. It’s not the right time but I would like to come to one of the Andy’s meetings at some point. I’m nervous about coming but I looked into it. I hate going places where I don’t know anyone. Is it pretty chill vibes?
CPLforever said:
Oh my God that is horrible. I am on here to say, obviously I am so sorry for yours and your families loss but also to say if you need too, reach out, on here or elsewhere, ramble on talk about how you are feeling or indeed about him if you need too, I know it can be difficult in circumstances like this, sometimes, to talk about him with family.

But please don't ever be reticent about coming on here ever ever
Click to expand...

Thank you for yours and everyone’s kind words on here. We’ve luckily been quite open today with each other as family. I appreciate the kind words from everyone on here even if I don’t reply to everyone!

its just hard cos I seen someone put a status on Facebook with vivid details about his death as they seen him. I can’t get the mental images out my mind, I keep thinking I hope he didn’t regret it after he made the decision.

anyways I’m so grateful for everyone. My dad was shit dad growing up but he went an identified the body today and said it was the least he could do for us. He went from a deadbeat dad to my hero like that
I sent my brother a voicenote. I know he won’t ever hear it but it’s for me not him. I told him her was a stupid ****. Al call him a stupid count til the day I die the f***ing idiot. I can’t even comprehend the fact that I’m gunna have to bury him soon. His best mates coming back from abroad to see us and I’m gunna have to raise a pint in his honour but it’s so hard
 
Last edited:
JC22 said:
Hi mate. It’s not the right time but I would like to come to one of the Andy’s meetings at some point. I’m nervous about coming but I looked into it. I hate going places where I don’t know anyone. Is it pretty chill vibes?
Click to expand...

Don't force yourself until it's the right time. We have a Facilitator that went through the same with a family member so although I will never understand your experience, there is always someone else that will.

It's always a surreal experience the first time but becomes the norm for a place to vent without any judgement. It exists because of someone like yourself going through the same 10 year ago and realising the majority of men keep their problems to themselves and resort to the unthinkable.

Feel free to reach out to me direct on here if you need to unload (the same goes for anyone else).
 
JC22, my sister also took her own life at 32, she had three children and this was August 2019.


I have spent years kicking myself, thinking I should’ve saw the signs, should have helped her more, should have done more to help her. But ultimately, I now know I couldn’t have done anything.

First three weeks up to the funeral were a blur, riding a wave of grief and organising her funeral, dealing with arsehole family trying to interfere etc.

The period (12 months or so) immediately after the funeral was by far the hardest and worst of my life, I never took any medication but I was really struggling to find any joy in life, and just worked hard to make sure my kids didn’t feel the effects of my grief, I ended up getting counselling (private) for a short period and it helped me rationalise stuff.

I also gave up drinking as I knew it wasn’t good to be drinking (especially as it was Covid and easy just to have a few beers) shortly after.

Please, take the time. You won’t feel any better after the funeral, you won’t even get close in the 12 months afterwards but you will hold onto and share the memories and start to live your life again, honouring his.

There are support networks out there too.

f***ing feel for you and can empathise with where you are right now.
 
Last edited:
Ive just subscribed to the mental health event at the foundation of light in April. I've struggled badly over times and last two years have been awful. About to lose my job as well and haven't a clue how jobs are even advertised these days
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top