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Depression thread continued...

Baloo said:
@Fred think about if it was one of your mates feeling like you do. You’d want them to talk to you about it? It’s not burdening them, mates are there to help.

It’s up to you, but I’d also tell your wife how you’re feeling to explain why you’re losing your temper etc.
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Spot on! It's a common theme that people don't want to burden others with their struggles, for the majority when they finally open up to family or friends they realise they're not alone in going through the struggles.
 

Springwell Mackem said:
Spot on! It's a common theme that people don't want to burden others with their struggles, for the majority when they finally open up to family or friends they realise they're not alone in going through the struggles.
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Unfortunately when I opened up to my partner it turned out I was alone. Often wish I had just kept up the act as things are now worse than ever.
 
Baloo said:
@Fred think about if it was one of your mates feeling like you do. You’d want them to talk to you about it? It’s not burdening them, mates are there to help.

It’s up to you, but I’d also tell your wife how you’re feeling to explain why you’re losing your temper etc.
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I told my wife yesterday and she wasn't shocked as she had seen quite a massive change in me over the last 6 months. She's went through similar herself but I know she is still struggling with it so didn't want to burden her and she didn't want to burden me either. The only really good thing to come out of it is that she said there's no way she's leaving me and I'm stuck with her forever, but only time will tell with that I suppose.

Haven't told my mates yet and probably don't plan on doing so now after talking to the wife, but I know the option is there if needs be.

On a negative side though, I've done myself an injury whilst sleeping somehow. Woke up this morning and thought I'd just slept funny but it turns out I've pulled my left tricep through the night and I now can't work for a few days at least and been told to rest up. That means less money and more stress though so if anyone has any magic cures for that other than lots of medication and frozen veg then I'd love to know.
 
Fred said:
I told my wife yesterday and she wasn't shocked as she had seen quite a massive change in me over the last 6 months. She's went through similar herself but I know she is still struggling with it so didn't want to burden her and she didn't want to burden me either. The only really good thing to come out of it is that she said there's no way she's leaving me and I'm stuck with her forever, but only time will tell with that I suppose.

Haven't told my mates yet and probably don't plan on doing so now after talking to the wife, but I know the option is there if needs be.

On a negative side though, I've done myself an injury whilst sleeping somehow. Woke up this morning and thought I'd just slept funny but it turns out I've pulled my left tricep through the night and I now can't work for a few days at least and been told to rest up. That means less money and more stress though so if anyone has any magic cures for that other than lots of medication and frozen veg then I'd love to know.
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I’ve like your post for the first bit, not the last. As for the middle, do what you’re comfortable with. You’ve made a big step there so well done pal 👍
 
Fred said:
I told my wife yesterday and she wasn't shocked as she had seen quite a massive change in me over the last 6 months. She's went through similar herself but I know she is still struggling with it so didn't want to burden her and she didn't want to burden me either. The only really good thing to come out of it is that she said there's no way she's leaving me and I'm stuck with her forever, but only time will tell with that I suppose.

Haven't told my mates yet and probably don't plan on doing so now after talking to the wife, but I know the option is there if needs be.

On a negative side though, I've done myself an injury whilst sleeping somehow. Woke up this morning and thought I'd just slept funny but it turns out I've pulled my left tricep through the night and I now can't work for a few days at least and been told to rest up. That means less money and more stress though so if anyone has any magic cures for that other than lots of medication and frozen veg then I'd love to know.
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Glad your Mrs has been supportive mate. Missing work isn't ideal but hopefully it's just a few days.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
Unfortunately when I opened up to my partner it turned out I was alone. Often wish I had just kept up the act as things are now worse than ever.
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I can gather her reaction and if so, some people are like that.

"Man up" or "we've all got problems" are not helpful answers.

If there were no ties keeping us together (kids, etc.), I'd personally be re-evaluating my domestic arrangements.
 
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Gennaro Savastano said:
Unfortunately when I opened up to my partner it turned out I was alone. Often wish I had just kept up the act as things are now worse than ever.
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I hate hearing things like this. They’ll get emotional over things they read on social media etc, but when it comes to their partner, they don’t want to hear about their struggles.

I mean, I understand that they’re hardwired to always see their man as their rock, but it’s shocking how quickly most women change as soon as a man admits that he’s struggling.

It’s very slowly improving, but it’s still not something I’d recommend, as I’ve seen too much of this response.
 
Hendon Mad Frog said:
I hate hearing things like this. They’ll get emotional over things they read on social media etc, but when it comes to their partner, they don’t want to hear about their struggles.

I mean, I understand that they’re hardwired to always see their man as their rock, but it’s shocking how quickly most women change as soon as a man admits that he’s struggling.

It’s very slowly improving, but it’s still not something I’d recommend, as I’ve seen too much of this response.
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Thankfully my wife had been amazing with me and I'm the first to admit I'm so lucky
 
Hendon Mad Frog said:
I hate hearing things like this. They’ll get emotional over things they read on social media etc, but when it comes to their partner, they don’t want to hear about their struggles.

I mean, I understand that they’re hardwired to always see their man as their rock, but it’s shocking how quickly most women change as soon as a man admits that he’s struggling.

It’s very slowly improving, but it’s still not something I’d recommend, as I’ve seen too much of this response.
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Yeah I was shocked and hurt by it. I still am. We were together for over 20 years and now we are just a couple of strangers.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
Yeah I was shocked and hurt by it. I still am. We were together for over 20 years and now we are just a couple of strangers.
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How ya deeing marra?

Having a good week to be honest. Had a few days up warren mill with the family and friends. Got sunstroke on the Saturday and was ill like haha. That’s what I get for going swimming and having a bald basketball fat heed.

Went back to work and for a change I wasn’t too pissed off. Only day off this week today. 60 hour week for me.

But I had dogs to vets this morning then normally I would lie on settee all day.
I’ve done all housework been in garden. Helped the bairn work on his motorbike. Feel good.

Hope everyone is doing the best they can be. Day by day folks. Always here if anyone needs a chat.
Love Rhubarb. Xx
 
Rhubarb said:
How ya deeing marra?

Having a good week to be honest. Had a few days up warren mill with the family and friends. Got sunstroke on the Saturday and was ill like haha. That’s what I get for going swimming and having a bald basketball fat heed.

Went back to work and for a change I wasn’t too pissed off. Only day off this week today. 60 hour week for me.

But I had dogs to vets this morning then normally I would lie on settee all day.
I’ve done all housework been in garden. Helped the bairn work on his motorbike. Feel good.

Hope everyone is doing the best they can be. Day by day folks. Always here if anyone needs a chat.
Love Rhubarb. Xx
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Plodding on mate. Working alot which knackers me but atleast keeps me busy.
 
Fred said:
Sorry to annoy everyone again but I'm probably having my worst and longest bout yet. I don't even think this is the right thread to be posting this in because I don't know what I would call this but depression is certainly one of my symptoms right now.

This bout has been ongoing for about 5 months now, which is by far the longest I've ever had, but it just seems to be getting worse by the day. Work used to be my safe space where I could just walk around and not have to concentrate on anything else, but now when I'm at work it's even worse.

Right now I'm going through spells of worrying about money, frustrated at feeling like I'm a failure as a Dad and constantly having that niggle in the back of my mind my wife is getting sick of me and going to leave and it just won't go away, no matter how irrational it is. The worst part about it is that I'm thinking worst possible scenarios at the start of the day and letting them manifest and take hold of me almost everyday.

It just feels like I'm regressing mentally and finding it unbelievably difficult to find a way through this without either putting my marriage at risk by constantly pissing her off or losing my temper which seems to come to boil very quickly currently.

I don't think this time there is currently much anyone can do to help, but I just thought I would have a vent and try to be honest with myself and others.
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Sorry I'm late to see this, but i've actually liked this post, deliberately.

The last sentence ended on a positive, you had a good "vent" on here and hopefully found it cathartic. If it helped in any way then never be ashamed or embarrassed, guilty or anything.

This is the place for anyone. If it's positive to do so then there's people on here who sympathise, or may be going through the same thing and it possibly helps them make sense.


That's why I liked it.
 
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Evening folks. How are we all doing?
Hope we are all fighting the good fight we all stand together.

Up and down for me lately. I can get up at five for work and not get home until 7 at night. Then my days off I get up walk dogs do housework then I’m dozing all day.
To be fair typing this makes me realise I might be having a downturn as all I want to do is sleep when I’m off.

I tend to do this when I start feeling unwell as it’s the only time my stupid brain stops working but then I still dream like fuck and wake up in a puddle of sweat.

Ah never mind just the fabulous magical bastard thing called mental health.

Bairn has asked me to start doing boxing again with him as not been for few month since I had Covid.

I’ll let yous know how I get on haha. If I don’t post for a while I’ve keeled over.

All the best people. As always here if anyone needs a chat.

Love Rhubarb. Xx
 
Rhubarb said:
Evening folks. How are we all doing?
Hope we are all fighting the good fight we all stand together.

Up and down for me lately. I can get up at five for work and not get home until 7 at night. Then my days off I get up walk dogs do housework then I’m dozing all day.
To be fair typing this makes me realise I might be having a downturn as all I want to do is sleep when I’m off.

I tend to do this when I start feeling unwell as it’s the only time my stupid brain stops working but then I still dream like fuck and wake up in a puddle of sweat.

Ah never mind just the fabulous magical bastard thing called mental health.

Bairn has asked me to start doing boxing again with him as not been for few month since I had Covid.

I’ll let yous know how I get on haha. If I don’t post for a while I’ve keeled over.

All the best people. As always here if anyone needs a chat.

Love Rhubarb. Xx
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I think most of us have what I call. Our indicators. We'll I certainly do, those little signs that tell us, hmmmmm maybe we are not doing so good. The trick is too recognise them, catch them early and try and work on them.

I get caught up in what is termed maladaptive coping methods. I.e. coping methods that are harmful,. I realise once I start thinking of these ways to cope i'm starting to suffer a downturn (good word).

Good luck with the boxing with the bairn. That is definately a good coping method.
 
CPLforever said:
I think most of us have what I call. Our indicators. We'll I certainly do, those little signs that tell us, hmmmmm maybe we are not doing so good. The trick is too recognise them, catch them early and try and work on them.

I get caught up in what is termed maladaptive coping methods. I.e. coping methods that are harmful,. I realise once I start thinking of these ways to cope i'm starting to suffer a downturn (good word).

Good luck with the boxing with the bairn. That is definately a good coping method.
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Yeah one of mine is staying up until the early hours. Not doing anything productive just staying up and feeling sorry for myself then trying to function on a couple of hours sleep the next day.
 
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