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Depression thread continued...


Got loads of little jobs to do and it feels like I'm wearing something heavy around my shoulders and everything seems like an enormous effort to start.

Funny thing is I WANT to get on with stuff and it's frustrating. I waste hours doing fuck all. Doomscrolling etc.
 
S.S.R.. said:
Got loads of little jobs to do and it feels like I'm wearing something heavy around my shoulders and everything seems like an enormous effort to start.

Funny thing is I WANT to get on with stuff and it's frustrating. I waste hours doing fuck all. Doomscrolling etc.
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The little jobs can wait mate , Do something that you want to do something that will put a smile on your face.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
Update from me. I have had a mad couple of weeks. Some on here will know my previous usernames and know I have been a regular poster for years in this and the old depression thread.

In the last couple of weeks I have left the family home, without going into details it was messy with police involved.
Just through a weird coincidence my dad was back in England and I met up with him for the first time in 20ish years.
By pure luck and good timing I managed to get an autism assessment/diagnosis at short notice.

Sorry if I have the wrong poster but I think it was @Hendon Mad Frog who read some of my posts and recognised that some of my issues may have been made harder because of autism rather than depression.

I have had a few beers so migh regret posting this tomorrow.
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Just re-read your post as a few points made a bit of sense to me with some of the things I've been through this past few years. Glad you got an assessment and might be moving forward

Just ruminating here - got myself into community team now for further assessment etc. Am thinking there's more going on than being put in the "depression/anxiety - heres some tablets" box. Don't want to self-label myself at the moment until someone works it out with me like

Had a right brain implosion again on Sunday and rang the crisis team out of desperation as I was terrified the day would end badly and convinced myself I needed a professional voice - as much as anything

It didn't end badly 😅

Bit of a ramble really
 
Have had quite a lot of issues myself over the years, but it's been a long time since I have required any medication or intervention from health professionals.

Have got used to dealing with issues and managing the stress better. Was doing ok until recently. Dealing with extreme levels of stress due to issues with family. Recently sustained an injury so my main coping mechanism (gym) has been cut off.

Have been struggling again over the last couple of months, but after the highs of the last 2 weeks have come back from Wembley and hit rock bottom again. My emotional numbness is causing distress for my partner and putting my relationship at risk. Has anyone else just felt a huge crash after coming back from London?

She is pushing me to see a doctor, so think I'm going to have to. As the alternative scenarios are frightening for the people I'm closest to...
 
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I think the reason partners often want to see you go and get help is so that they can see you’re doing something about it and haven’t given up.

This sounds awful but it’s shit living with someone who has issues but doesn’t do anything about it. I know because I was the same way for years before I realised there’s nowt wrong with getting some professional help.

Certain events can definitely be a trigger, particularly when you experience massive highs but it shouldn’t then impact on your family.
 
brains said:
Have had quite a lot of issues myself over the years, but it's been a long time since I have required any medication or intervention from health professionals.

Have got used to dealing with issues and managing the stress better. Was doing ok until recently. Dealing with extreme levels of stress due to issues with family. Recently sustained an injury so my main coping mechanism (gym) has been cut off.

Have been struggling again over the last couple of months, but after the highs of the last 2 weeks have come back from Wembley and hit rock bottom again. My emotional numbness is causing distress for my partner and putting my relationship at risk. Has anyone else just felt a huge crash after coming back from London?

She is pushing me to see a doctor, so think I'm going to have to. As the alternative scenarios are frightening for the people I'm closest to...
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Do it. Best advice. Do it before you hit rock bottom and really can't cope anymore. That way, if you do need to go on medication it can be a low dose just to get back on an even keel.
 
CPLforever said:
Do it. Best advice. Do it before you hit rock bottom and really can't cope anymore. That way, if you do need to go on medication it can be a low dose just to get back on an even keel.
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I've only ever used low dose SSRIs combined with CBT. But the last time was over 10 years ago. I felt like all of the other stuff helped more than medication and withdrawing from the medication isn't great.

My main concern is that I'm the type of person who tries to just get on with things and plough on. So these issues have probably been ever present over the last 10 years and I just haven't reached a point of desperation / necessity.

I feel like I should probably speak with someone higher up than just a counsellor because I could have something a bit more serious going undiagnosed. Will mention my my concerns with the doctor and see what they say.
 
S.S.R.. said:
Got loads of little jobs to do and it feels like I'm wearing something heavy around my shoulders and everything seems like an enormous effort to start.

Funny thing is I WANT to get on with stuff and it's frustrating. I waste hours doing fuck all. Doomscrolling etc.
Click to expand...
I'm exactly the same. For years I've put everything off (quite true) and I've a mountain to climb. Overwhelmed is exactly the term I'd use.

I started with the easiest, quickest things. Then, even if I only did that, I could waste a bit of time without feeling guilty as I'd at least done something.
Gets addictive, you can enjoy the little job and do a second, third, whatever with the mini endorphin rush I crave. (having gone almost six months off the sauce, got nowt else but endorphins to get jacked up owa! 🤣)


Slowly I'm getting done, but I'd not have had a chance or the motivation back then to crack on with any purpose.

You'll get there. Trust me.
 
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CPLforever said:
Yes, 20 min walk.

Psyched myself up. Changed my clothes 4 times. Deep breath and off I went. To post office bought an envelope and back.

I am absolutely fine if people if accompanied, just find it hard to go out alone.
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Well done, thats a fantastic effort.

You should be very proud of yourself, it can be so hard to just get past the front door, so easy to find excuses to stay home or put it off for later.
 
chrismisterx said:
Well done, thats a fantastic effort.

You should be very proud of yourself, it can be so hard to just get past the front door, so easy to find excuses to stay home or put it off for later.
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Aaah thanks. I know, twice this week as well, i'm quite proud of myself.

However it is not too bad, honestly, if I am going out with someone, no bother mostly. And if I make arrangements or have appointments, although difficult at times I can usually do it. Though close friends know that sometimes, just sometimes I cry off at very short notice, understand and forgive me.
 
CPLforever said:
Aaah thanks. I know, twice this week as well, i'm quite proud of myself.

However it is not too bad, honestly, if I am going out with someone, no bother mostly. And if I make arrangements or have appointments, although difficult at times I can usually do it. Though close friends know that sometimes, just sometimes I cry off at very short notice, understand and forgive me.
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I suffer the same, I can go months and months without leaving the house and when I do it tends to be with someone like you explained, So I know where you are coming from. Its why I have so much time to be on here, for better or worse.

You should be very proud, hopefully with the nicer weather on the way you can manage it more often, but when you cant dont beat yourself up, we all have bad days.

But a win is a win, so chuffed for you!
 
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