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Depression thread continued...

DonaldDownTheWing said:
I ended up coming home from work on Monday after speaking on here for the first time last weekend. I was due to come home on Wednesday but when I realised that I even another 2 days away felt like hell on earth I spoke to my manager and he got me away within the hour.

Within a couple days of coming home I could feel the stress starting to ease and my skin has calmed right down without needing to take any medication. So it’s definitely stress related.

I even managed to get out for an hour on my bike today which will give me endorphins for days. Same again tomorrow hopefully.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend❤️
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Remember mate I am always a call away and if your home I can be there in no time at all. Day or night.
ATS said:
I am going through the most terrible time of my life and have the most horrendous anxiety that is really affecting me badly.
Just over 4 weeks ago my Dad was walking home and we have no idea what happened to him, he has no memory of it but he had severe injuries including a bleed on the brain 😭. He is 75 year old but before this happened he was fit as a fiddle and was still working full time as an electrician. He is now like a child, has horrendous memory loss and confusion (they done the memory test with him on Friday and he couldn’t do basic things like name the months of the year and he thought the year was 1978). We are waiting to get him in Princess House care home hopefully sometime this week.
I lost both my sisters years ago when they were only 28 and 32 and lost my Mam almost 2 years ago. I am a single Mam, my 16 year old son has autism and my 25 year old daughter is severely disabled. My Dad was my huge support and the only close family member I had left. He drove my daughter to all her hospital appts and I went to him with all my problems. He is still alive but nothing like my Dad and I have no idea how I am going to manage without him 😭.
To make it worse the kids Dad has never been in their lives so my Dad took on that male role for them, they idolise him and my disabled daughter is shouting for him all day every day. It’s like a knife through my heart every time as she doesn’t understand 😭😭.
I have unbearable anxiety, the first time I have ever experienced it. I am not eating, struggling to sleep, lightheaded, shaking, legs like jelly, my stomach is constantly churning and my heart feels like it’s going to pop out of my chest. I am really struggling to cope, looking after my disabled daughter is a full time job on its own and I am barely coping. I am crying constantly. I feel absolutely horrendous and have no idea how to cope with what has happened 😭😭😭😭.
I have so much to sort out like his pensions,shares etc to pay for his care home fees and I honestly don’t know where to start. I feel like I’m going to pass out with it all 😭😭.
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I really don’t know what to say here other than you are a true warrior!
 
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ATS said:
I am going through the most terrible time of my life and have the most horrendous anxiety that is really affecting me badly.
Just over 4 weeks ago my Dad was walking home and we have no idea what happened to him, he has no memory of it but he had severe injuries including a bleed on the brain 😭. He is 75 year old but before this happened he was fit as a fiddle and was still working full time as an electrician. He is now like a child, has horrendous memory loss and confusion (they done the memory test with him on Friday and he couldn’t do basic things like name the months of the year and he thought the year was 1978). We are waiting to get him in Princess House care home hopefully sometime this week.
I lost both my sisters years ago when they were only 28 and 32 and lost my Mam almost 2 years ago. I am a single Mam, my 16 year old son has autism and my 25 year old daughter is severely disabled. My Dad was my huge support and the only close family member I had left. He drove my daughter to all her hospital appts and I went to him with all my problems. He is still alive but nothing like my Dad and I have no idea how I am going to manage without him 😭.
To make it worse the kids Dad has never been in their lives so my Dad took on that male role for them, they idolise him and my disabled daughter is shouting for him all day every day. It’s like a knife through my heart every time as she doesn’t understand 😭😭.
I have unbearable anxiety, the first time I have ever experienced it. I am not eating, struggling to sleep, lightheaded, shaking, legs like jelly, my stomach is constantly churning and my heart feels like it’s going to pop out of my chest. I am really struggling to cope, looking after my disabled daughter is a full time job on its own and I am barely coping. I am crying constantly. I feel absolutely horrendous and have no idea how to cope with what has happened 😭😭😭😭.
I have so much to sort out like his pensions,shares etc to pay for his care home fees and I honestly don’t know where to start. I feel like I’m going to pass out with it all 😭😭.
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I am so sorry for what you are going through at the moment. I know you work hard to keep your head above water at the best of times sometimes.

You have spoken about your daughter in the past and how you love and care for her. You are an absolute credit you really are.

Wish I could do more than just offer you words....but I will repeat what others have said on here. Reach out. Don't try to do everything your self. Age UK offer a great welfare rights service. They can offer advice on all sorts of things in regards to an elderly parent going into care and will also, in my experience, help with applying for any appropriate benefits.

Good luck, stay strong and remember if you are the one looking after everyone else you have to take some time to look after yourself too.
 
ATS said:
I am going through the most terrible time of my life and have the most horrendous anxiety that is really affecting me badly.
Just over 4 weeks ago my Dad was walking home and we have no idea what happened to him, he has no memory of it but he had severe injuries including a bleed on the brain 😭. He is 75 year old but before this happened he was fit as a fiddle and was still working full time as an electrician. He is now like a child, has horrendous memory loss and confusion (they done the memory test with him on Friday and he couldn’t do basic things like name the months of the year and he thought the year was 1978). We are waiting to get him in Princess House care home hopefully sometime this week.
I lost both my sisters years ago when they were only 28 and 32 and lost my Mam almost 2 years ago. I am a single Mam, my 16 year old son has autism and my 25 year old daughter is severely disabled. My Dad was my huge support and the only close family member I had left. He drove my daughter to all her hospital appts and I went to him with all my problems. He is still alive but nothing like my Dad and I have no idea how I am going to manage without him 😭.
To make it worse the kids Dad has never been in their lives so my Dad took on that male role for them, they idolise him and my disabled daughter is shouting for him all day every day. It’s like a knife through my heart every time as she doesn’t understand 😭😭.
I have unbearable anxiety, the first time I have ever experienced it. I am not eating, struggling to sleep, lightheaded, shaking, legs like jelly, my stomach is constantly churning and my heart feels like it’s going to pop out of my chest. I am really struggling to cope, looking after my disabled daughter is a full time job on its own and I am barely coping. I am crying constantly. I feel absolutely horrendous and have no idea how to cope with what has happened 😭😭😭😭.
I have so much to sort out like his pensions,shares etc to pay for his care home fees and I honestly don’t know where to start. I feel like I’m going to pass out with it all 😭😭.
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So sorry to read this. You are such a brilliant lady and a credit to your children.
 
Just logged into work emails to book a hotel and I’ve got a bastard speeding fine. I’m so careful when I drive and I was actually doing 69 “in a 70”, but because the hire car I was driving when I had to come home sick was a van the limit is 60 on a dual carriageway.

Obviously I know that’s the law and it’s my fault, but when you’re in the mental space I was in that day you just think 70 on a dual carriageway.

One thing after another atm. Can’t catch a break.
 
DonaldDownTheWing said:
Just logged into work emails to book a hotel and I’ve got a bastard speeding fine. I’m so careful when I drive and I was actually doing 69 “in a 70”, but because the hire car I was driving when I had to come home sick was a van the limit is 60 on a dual carriageway.

Obviously I know that’s the law and it’s my fault, but when you’re in the mental space I was in that day you just think 70 on a dual carriageway.

One thing after another atm. Can’t catch a break.
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Its very difficult when you dont feel good but i try so hard to just shrug n laugh at adversity like that nowadays mate.

Again I know when your heads battered it feel more like an avalanche of shite. Take care.
 
DonaldDownTheWing said:
Just logged into work emails to book a hotel and I’ve got a bastard speeding fine. I’m so careful when I drive and I was actually doing 69 “in a 70”, but because the hire car I was driving when I had to come home sick was a van the limit is 60 on a dual carriageway.

Obviously I know that’s the law and it’s my fault, but when you’re in the mental space I was in that day you just think 70 on a dual carriageway.

One thing after another atm. Can’t catch a break.
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A speeding ticket isn't the end of the world, do the speed awareness course if you can. It's boring but keeps your licence clean
 
SPUFF said:
Its very difficult when you dont feel good but i try so hard to just shrug n laugh at adversity like that nowadays mate.

Again I know when your heads battered it feel more like an avalanche of shite. Take care.
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D.A said:
A speeding ticket isn't the end of the world, do the speed awareness course if you can. It's boring but keeps your licence clean
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Thanks both. Aye I got a bit emotional when I opened the email cos it doesn’t just feel like one thing after another, but after 10 minutes I realised I’d probably get given a course and felt pretty chilled out tbf.
 
DonaldDownTheWing said:
Thanks both. Aye I got a bit emotional when I opened the email cos it doesn’t just feel like one thing after another, but after 10 minutes I realised I’d probably get given a course and felt pretty chilled out tbf.
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When you feeling low it takes the smallest thing to knock you sideways so good you were able to put it in perspective relatively quickly.
 
was getting a belt from the spare room to kill myself last night tears down my face and letters written. Then I lay down down tow minutes and my youngest lad sleep walks in or is half a sleep to what ever. He lays on my chest kisses me then somehow my wife wakes up.

So that stopped me doing what I was going to do and i am not one for spooky stuff etc but that’s really freaked me out.

I am still here posting laughing and joking hut I am dead inside.
 
mackem1989 said:
was getting a belt from the spare room to kill myself last night tears down my face and letters written. Then I lay down down tow minutes and my youngest lad sleep walks in or is half a sleep to what ever. He lays on my chest kisses me then somehow my wife wakes up.

So that stopped me doing what I was going to do and i am not one for spooky stuff etc but that’s really freaked me out.

I am still here posting laughing and joking hut I am dead inside.
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Does your wife know your intentions? I can't remember everything but have you spoken to anyone? You say you're dead inside, but there is always hope. I'm here if you need a chat.
 
D.A said:
Does your wife know your intentions? I can't remember everything but have you spoken to anyone? You say you're dead inside, but there is always hope. I'm here if you need a chat.
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She does and she’s been great without her I wouldn’t be here right now typing spoken to loads mate tried everything that’s possible. Just have to accept I’m a “head case” the words of a supposed professional. I’ve been sectioned numerous times but that does nothing other than piss me off. I need help not dragging down and the services they don’t help.

@DonaldDownTheWing has been texting me been speaking to him which has helped he’s a sound lad with his heart in the right place even after his pure football rants 😂
lucky said:
@mackem1989 how are you this morning, you got so many people here that care for you and will help you anyway they can ❤️.
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It’s mad mate, feel totally fine now that’s the problem with my condition I swing from a to b very quick.

Good to see you back on this thread.
 
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mackem1989 said:
was getting a belt from the spare room to kill myself last night tears down my face and letters written. Then I lay down down tow minutes and my youngest lad sleep walks in or is half a sleep to what ever. He lays on my chest kisses me then somehow my wife wakes up.

So that stopped me doing what I was going to do and i am not one for spooky stuff etc but that’s really freaked me out.

I am still here posting laughing and joking hut I am dead inside.
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I'm in a similar boat mate. Relationship fucked, finances fucked, nowhere to go but the kids stop me pulling the trigger. I do feel like it's just a matter of time but I've been feeling that way for a long time now.
 
Gennaro Savastano said:
I'm in a similar boat mate. Relationship fucked, finances fucked, nowhere to go but the kids stop me pulling the trigger. I do feel like it's just a matter of time but I've been feeling that way for a long time now.
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I’ve had this feeling for a while something is keeping you here and I know I’m shit taking advise but your kids need you


“You can’t be a superhero everyday but your kids need their hero”

Someone said that to me and it’s stuck
 
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Gennaro Savastano said:
I'm in a similar boat mate. Relationship fucked, finances fucked, nowhere to go but the kids stop me pulling the trigger. I do feel like it's just a matter of time but I've been feeling that way for a long time now.
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Same goes to you my mate think of your kids everytime , I know it's awful mate but there will come a day when you think I am so pleased I didn't go through with it ❤️ .
 
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