What are your go to, never fail to raise a smile, jokes, banter?

Waskerly Mackem said:
Grosvenor House, burnt out range rovers pber unpaid debts, ex-footballers turning up at Rothbury to sort out gun crazed nutters or hug fat lases on trains, players fighting each other on the pitch leading to them being down to nine men, heroes whose only silverware was won before they came to Newcastle (at Blackburn) yet still lauded even when they got them relegated,perm headed rent boy lovers who stormed off in the huff twice and then there's this classic when they were beaten by us???

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Newcastle, the gift that keeps on giving...
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They certainly are a generous bunch and have helped give me a few laughs.

I don't seem to be able to recall the significance of Grosvenor House...
 


cosmicchris00 said:
They certainly are a generous bunch and have helped give me a few laughs.

I don't seem to be able to recall the significance of Grosvenor House...
Click to expand...
Grosvenor House was in the early noughties, where a 17 year old girl allegedly got done by seven Premiership football players. Up to six of them were rumoured to be Newcastle.

She'd supposedly gone to the room with one, just for the rest to turn up.

The story goes a substantial payout was made and all traces of the case disappeared.

'I did not agree to group sex'

The schoolgirl at the centre of the football gang rape scandal has vehemently denied that she consented to group sex with several players.
www.standard.co.uk www.standard.co.uk

This version of the story says four, however, a certain Newcastle stars name features quite prominently.
 
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Waskerly Mackem said:
Grosvenor House was in the early noughties, where a 17 year old girl allegedly got done by seven Premiership football players. Up to six of them were rumoured to be Newcastle.

She'd supposedly gone to the room with one, just for the rest to turn up.

The story goes a substantial payout was made and all traces of the case disappeared.

'I did not agree to group sex'

The schoolgirl at the centre of the football gang rape scandal has vehemently denied that she consented to group sex with several players.
www.standard.co.uk www.standard.co.uk

This version of the story says four, however, a certain Newcastle stars name features quite prominently.
Click to expand...

I knew I should have been able to place it, I remember the story well now.

I stayed there half a lifetime ago as a pal of mine's da maintained a serviced apartment there (his da ran a successful construction company... until it went bust!).

The pad was rumoured to one of the many corporate excesses which the company had paid for over the years.
 
tunstall birdman said:
Banter to others and jokes you have used over the years and they can still have life in their delivery?

I'll start with a few of mine.

'What's hairy, sits on a stool and plays the piano?' - Kate's bush


A girl I was chatting up told me she was a veggie. So I replied 'Well, lettuce into your knickers pet"


Next... (As in poster, not the shop. Give us your best/worst)
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Being caught between two stools with neither having pleasant smells.
 
Man walks into to pub with a durex hanging off the end of his nose. Asked why he says "F@ck nose"

Man with knob in bowl of custard, asked why he says " I dunno I'm f@cking disgusted.

Whats the difference between a knob and a chicken leg? I don't know......
 

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