Coping with insomnia after death of a loved one

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Sack Fatto

Sack Fatto

Striker
Looking for advice from my friends on the wisest board in the world.
My sister died a few days ago and I just can’t sleep. All sorts of random crap in my head. Especially images of her in the final hours of her life.

I have tried a sleeping tablet but still couldn’t get to sleep. I have arranged the funeral and tried to keep busy, but feel exhausted now. And I am doing a brief eulogy on Friday at the service.
Also tried copious amounts of red wine....still struggling.
I’m sure many of you have gone through something similar.
Thanks....
 


I’m sorry I don’t have the answer however it’s still so fresh and raw at the minute for you so it’s no suprise all sorts are going through your head.

It may get better once the funeral and everything is over and your not thinking about as many things? Your still going through the early stages of grief.

I hope it improves soon mate.
 
Sorry for your loss.
Stay clear of the drink it won't help.
Chances are once the funeral is done it'll all catch up with you and you'll be able to sleep then.
 
Sack Fatto said:
Looking for advice from my friends on the wisest board in the world.
My sister died a few days ago and I just can’t sleep. All sorts of random crap in my head. Especially images of her in the final hours of her life.

I have tried a sleeping tablet but still couldn’t get to sleep. I have arranged the funeral and tried to keep busy, but feel exhausted now. And I am doing a brief eulogy on Friday at the service.
Also tried copious amounts of red wine....still struggling.
I’m sure many of you have gone through something similar.
Thanks....
Click to expand...
Sorry for your sad loss. The funeral will be the hardest point but it will be the turning point in easing your mind. Just try remember the good times and they'll eclipse the bad ones.
 
I’m sorry for your loss and my sympathies to you and your family.

I suffered similar problems on the death of my father and again to a lesser extent with my mam being diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer’s.

I spoke with my GP and asked to be referred to a grief counsellor. I feel it helped me put my feelings in order and create coping strategies.

Be strong and take advice from the right people.
 
Sack Fatto said:
Looking for advice from my friends on the wisest board in the world.
My sister died a few days ago and I just can’t sleep. All sorts of random crap in my head. Especially images of her in the final hours of her life.

I have tried a sleeping tablet but still couldn’t get to sleep. I have arranged the funeral and tried to keep busy, but feel exhausted now. And I am doing a brief eulogy on Friday at the service.
Also tried copious amounts of red wine....still struggling.
I’m sure many of you have gone through something similar.
Thanks....
Click to expand...

just over 8 years ago i lost my partner to a bloodclot on the lung, she collapsed in front of me and died in fron of me at the hospital....

everyone's emotions and mind are different but in the first few weeks that followed i had to go on diazepam to sleep this lasted a few weeks.... i also mixed mine with alcohol not recommended but hey ho in the short term you will have all sorts of emotions/greif etc

longer term i suppose these things effect us in different ways

My best advice i can offer you is bereavement counselling there are some free ones i can send you links to if you want or you can get advice from GP..

give me a shout if u need any advice

P.S. i couldnt get away with anti depressants they made me fool like a zombie and [tired] all the time but again everyone is different
 
Exercise
Long walks, with a dog if you have one (or can borrow)
Counselling, either professional or from friends- talking helps
A piss up with the right folk sometimes helps, you can express yourself more openly after a few jars

Grief never really goes away, you just manage it better imo
 
Sorry to hear about your loss. cannot imagine what you are going through.

I am no expert but sleep is a huge part of feeling well or not so while it is not a fix to your situation, from my own experiences, I do feel that improving your sleep can get you back on a more stable platform, mentally speaking, and put you in a better place to deal with the issues you face.

exercise yourself until you are exhausted. get into a regular daily pattern of doing this. do all the usual obvious things too (stop drinking, don't watch TV or use your phone at night etc) and that could help somewhat.

also just in general try talking to someone. If you don't want to do it on the phone to or to someone you know then e_mail jo@samaritans.org and just write down all your thoughts. You will get a response and many people find it very helpful.
 
what you are going through, is natural when you lose a loved one.

you are not some kind of nutcase or weirdo.

you will be able to deal with it and your mind racing with all sorts of thoughts, as you will be hoping you have planned everything ok for the funeral.

Unless discussed, how do you know the music at the funeral will be right, for example.

The one thing I strongly advise, is to talk about your sister. Have a laugh with family about some of the things she has said or done.

Just because she has died does not mean she did not exist
 
Sorry for your loss. I hope the funeral goes as well as it can.
Talk to people about the good times, and take care.

Sorry not much advice!
 
So sorry to hear what you are going through. Basically everyone who has responded have given you excellent advice. I would only add for those early hours when things are going through your head and sleep won't come try listening to audiobooks or podcasts, it sometimes helps to hear a voice in your head that isn't your own. All the best.
 
Firstly, my condolences on the death of your sister. I know what you are going through as I lost my sister about 3 years ago and my brother last year. The feeling of tiredness and exhaustion is totally natural and is the first part of the grieving process, it will pass. For me, once the funerals were over, there was a sense of relief, which may be the case for you as well.
I am hopeless at posting links, but if you google stages of bereavement, the NHS site is fairly near the top. It gives some good advice on the process and what you may experience as you go on.
 
My old man died over 13 years ago and I ended up addicted to sleeping tablets for 10 (was getting off the internet, stupidly). It was either that and/or alcohol that worked for me and my sleep is still appalling.

Hope you get sorted mate. Exercise and drinking loads of water during the day is your best option. Don't do what I did/do, its lead to me losing jobs etc.

Also, sorry for your loss.
 
Sorry for your loss mate. My advice would be to seek professional help, and under no circumstances try to self medicate with drink etc as that can spiral very quickly.
 
Everyone is effected differently by bereavement but what you are going through doesn’t seem disproportionate. Sometimes I’ve hated my sister, we used to kick bits out of each other but it’s a loosing I wouldn’t want to think too much about as I know I would be devastated about should it happen.
Not only is it a close family member but she’s also your/ my generation and siblings go through life together and I’ve know only my mam as long.
It does get easier but I think you need to ride it out. Cry if you need too, laugh if things are funny too.
 
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