Coping with insomnia after death of a loved one



Pseudonym Number 1 said:
Sorry for your loss.
Stay clear of the drink it won't help.
Chances are once the funeral is done it'll all catch up with you and you'll be able to sleep then.
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This ^

Sack Fatto said:
Looking for advice from my friends on the wisest board in the world.
My sister died a few days ago and I just can’t sleep. All sorts of random crap in my head. Especially images of her in the final hours of her life.

I have tried a sleeping tablet but still couldn’t get to sleep. I have arranged the funeral and tried to keep busy, but feel exhausted now. And I am doing a brief eulogy on Friday at the service.
Also tried copious amounts of red wine....still struggling.
I’m sure many of you have gone through something similar.
Thanks....
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Sorry for your loss mate. Just hang in there, things will improve.
 
Sorry to hear that pal.
The brother in law died few months ago @42
My Mrs was absolutely devastated, off work 2 months, no sleep etc
She has had counselling and I think it has helped a little, she still in tears most nights like, it’s heartbreaking to watch. She will never be the same happy go lucky girl that she always was, which is a massive shame. She used to be the life and soul

It will take a good length of time to get sorted but have patience mate
I stopped the Mrs from drinking for a while , I did as well actually, still not drinking much now which isn’t a bad thing I suppose
Best of luck to you and keep your chin up whenever possible
 
Most people will say stay clear of alcohol but i honestly think it can be beneficial at times like this, although just go careful with it. It does help to numb the pain
 
Sorry to read your sad news.

You’ve had a lot to deal with,and still have,and insomnia is a natural reaction when you have so much on your mind. We all heal in our own time and own way,perhaps a port of call could be your GP who can evaluate what can help you at the moment. It’s also very easy to turn to the wrong things at times like this,but if you feel something is helping you through this and won’t become a long term habit,then do as you feel you need. Alcohol does exacerbate things negatively when you’re already feeling low,but everyone’s different in the effect it has on them.
 
Sack Fatto said:
Had a good walk this afternoon and have just seen the humanist speaker who will talk about my sisters life on Friday. Feel a bit better. Just need some sleep now! Thanks to everyone for the kind thoughts. I really appreciate it. This board is a thing of beauty.
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If you're feeling dozey after the walk, get your head down for a couple of hours.
 
Sorry for your loss. I can empathise as my sister died on Friday. Even though we knew it was coming, it was still a shock. I haven't slept properly since. It's shit but I'm busying myself with jobs around the house and walks with the dog in the hope that I'll exhaust myself and sleep through. I'm off to a music festival at the weekend with some friends so hoping that will take my mind off things too. I feel guilty about going but I know she'd have told me not to mope about.
 
Sack Fatto said:
Had a good walk this afternoon and have just seen the humanist speaker who will talk about my sisters life on Friday. Feel a bit better. Just need some sleep now! Thanks to everyone for the kind thoughts. I really appreciate it. This board is a thing of beauty.
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People who don’t even know you are in your corner and supporting you.
 
Sack Fatto said:
Thanks to everyone who has replied. Some cracking advice. I know that it’s natural, but at the moment I’m dreading going to bed at night.
Have decided to go for a walk along the beach at Shields this afternoon to clear my head.
Hope it gets better after the funeral.x
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You have my thoughts mate, keep yourself right, she is always in your heart and with you at all times.
 
Sorrry to hear your sad news marra

Your grief is normal, people deal with this in lots of different way though, some people cope, some don’t, it’s normal.
Talking to people will helps but it’s f***ing difficult sometimes and depends on your nature.

My experiance of grief is it doesn’t go away quickly, every day it gets a little better though.
Maybe put the radio on when you go to bed, takes the edge off the quiet time as you drop off to sleep.

I seen a program with Rio Ferdinand, helping his kids deal with the grief and set up a memory jar, filled with good memories of there mother, wrote out by the kids and Rio on notelets, not saying it’s for everyone but ther must be ways to help you, I’m sure counsellors out there would be a great help, I wish I sought help after my mother’s death.
Didn’t want to talk to the wife, mates etc, what a fool I was at the time.
 
Sorry for your loss.
My Mam died not so long ago, but found that after the funeral a great weight was lifted off my shoulders and managed to cope with life a lot easier, but it never goes away, and I wouldn't want it to.
 
Spennymackem1981 said:
just over 8 years ago i lost my partner to a bloodclot on the lung, she collapsed in front of me and died in fron of me at the hospital....

everyone's emotions and mind are different but in the first few weeks that followed i had to go on diazepam to sleep this lasted a few weeks.... i also mixed mine with alcohol not recommended but hey ho in the short term you will have all sorts of emotions/greif etc

longer term i suppose these things effect us in different ways

My best advice i can offer you is bereavement counselling there are some free ones i can send you links to if you want or you can get advice from GP..

give me a shout if u need any advice

P.S. i couldnt get away with anti depressants they made me fool like a zombie and monged out all the time but again everyone is different
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Awful that, can't imagine how that must feel.
Good to see you are carrying on with life mate.
 
Flared Hicks said:
Go for a good long walk in the countryside or along the beach if you’re close to one while the sun’s out and got some warmth to it. It’s gorgeous outside right now and a good blast of fresh air in your lungs will never be a bad thing. I often put the world to rights in my head like that.
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Echoing the sentiments of others already, I am/we're sorry for your loss.
Get to the seaside if you can. Sea air can also have a good effect on you like country air.
 
robbied1 said:
Most people will say stay clear of alcohol but i honestly think it can be beneficial at times like this, although just go careful with it. It does help to numb the pain
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It isn’t mate, it makes you have a shit nights sleep and he needs a good nights sleep.

Scientifically proven to be one of the the worst things you can do to ‘help’ sleep
 
DurhamRedStripe said:
Awful that, can't imagine how that must feel.
Good to see you are carrying on with life mate.
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mate it was a shitter, we had a 6 month old girl and i had a 4 year old stepdaughter who was like my own i lost her too, her family treat me like shit after as well

but 8 years on been in a relationship for 5 years daughter doing well have a son who's 2 just about to move into a new build and embark on either a new job at home or abroad to make some daft dollar

its a cliche but things really do get better
 
I struggled to sleep after my mam died. I assume it must be common if the replies are anything to go by.
it's a lonely and helpless place to be when a loved one passes away
when i was struggling i realised that when trying to sleep i was always picturing her in her last few weeks and all the pain that went with it instead of the good, happy times we had. it was only when i did that i started to sleep better.
Sorry for your loss mate.
 
Im sorry to hear of your loss mate.

If anything, just stay away from drugs at the minute, lack of sleep does funny things.

If your mind is going haywire and you're scared of the night, then dont beat yourself up and put stress on yourself to go to sleep in a normal manner, watch tv or anything that will get you out of your head. Perhaps in the daytime, you will be more able to sleep in a more orthodox manner.
 

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