Nookie Bear
Winger
I loved Diazapam.
Can completely understand why so many become addicted to it.
As for Venlafaxine, be careful on it.
Even though it's fairly widely prescribed it still tends to be a second line of meds after a first attempt of something else hasn't helped.
The 'black box warning' on it is arguably more appropriate & to be taken extremely seriously according to a lot of studies of it compared with other antidepressants.
Just try & take a step back & be proud of any simple basic little achievement you make.
Even if it's simply getting out of bed, making yourself a cuppa, eating a bowl of soup etc.
You've done something worthwhile & productive.
One of the proudest times I've ever had was back in 2009 when I had 15 sessions of cognitive analytical therapy & I managed to attend all of them on time as scheduled.
Not only that but i cycled from Houghton to Ryhope & back on each occasion.
Looking back from a normal healthy state of mind it was an absolute piece of piss in theory, but at the time it seemed like such a huge accomplishment & massively helped my recovery from a suicide attempt as a result.
Bit of fresh air, nice countryside areas around Burdon & Seaton Village etc.
Keep things simple & basic is quite often the best way, & don't beat yourself up if you do have a shit day or two.
There's always tomorrow for a good one.
I found one of my work books from cbt a while ago , had to list three things you would achieve before next meeting in a weeks time
Mine were take the dog to the vet (anal glands iirc)
Get dressed
Brush teeth and wash face every day
Quite sad reading it how those simple things become such massive things they're overwhelming when you're in 'that place'