KEV_SAFC_FTM
Striker
Firstly, I'll apologise in advance for this. I'm going to spout off and write war and peace and I realise it's 'only a dog' and no-one really cares but I'm writing this with tears rolling down my face and I need to do it. In typical SMB style, I expect a few 'Man the fuck ups' but I don't care.
Anyhow, I had to put my dog, Jess, to sleep yesterday. She had an agressive form of cancer and had lost 6kg in two months. It was truly the most horrendous and emotionally draining experience of my life. Although the 'procedure' went as well as it could, I don't think I'd prepared mentally for what it would entail. I'll admit I'm struggling to cope with the enormity of it at the minute. I feel hollow and I'm crying all the time, despite never being emotional normally (Christ, I can't remember the last time I did cry). Little things around the house aren't happening any more because of her absence and the house feels lost.
I know this is a cliche but Jess was like a kid to us. My wife and I struggled to conceive for years so decided to get a dog instead. We got her from the kennels aged about 1, despite written comments that she was greedy. We'd visited the kennels about four times and each time her eyes were sparkling and tail was wagging. Call it fate, but we had to have her. My son was born a couple of years later and he has been since diagnosed with autism. The dog had a sense of when my son was feeling low or had a meltdown and could settle him down with her presence. She was always in the middle of us, wanting cuddles, just a proper soft people's dog and never a hint of aggression. Yet she hated other dogs and barked incessantly at them on walks.
I'm feeling every emotion going. Guilt, anger, shock, lack of appetite and lack of get up and go. Does it get any easier and when? Because this is f***ing horrible.
Anyhow, I had to put my dog, Jess, to sleep yesterday. She had an agressive form of cancer and had lost 6kg in two months. It was truly the most horrendous and emotionally draining experience of my life. Although the 'procedure' went as well as it could, I don't think I'd prepared mentally for what it would entail. I'll admit I'm struggling to cope with the enormity of it at the minute. I feel hollow and I'm crying all the time, despite never being emotional normally (Christ, I can't remember the last time I did cry). Little things around the house aren't happening any more because of her absence and the house feels lost.
I know this is a cliche but Jess was like a kid to us. My wife and I struggled to conceive for years so decided to get a dog instead. We got her from the kennels aged about 1, despite written comments that she was greedy. We'd visited the kennels about four times and each time her eyes were sparkling and tail was wagging. Call it fate, but we had to have her. My son was born a couple of years later and he has been since diagnosed with autism. The dog had a sense of when my son was feeling low or had a meltdown and could settle him down with her presence. She was always in the middle of us, wanting cuddles, just a proper soft people's dog and never a hint of aggression. Yet she hated other dogs and barked incessantly at them on walks.
I'm feeling every emotion going. Guilt, anger, shock, lack of appetite and lack of get up and go. Does it get any easier and when? Because this is f***ing horrible.
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