Depression

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Thought i'd have a look back at this thread as hadnt seen it for a while.

I've been having a hard time of things again. Its sort of fleeting between my anxiety and the related depression. I have to say it isnt every hour of every day, but I tend to get symptoms regularly each day.

The frustrating thing for me is the ups and downs. There is no clear path to this. One day you feel like you've got it all sussed, the next your frantically searching for some kind of reassurance and to feel safe again.

My wife is four months pregnant and I feel I should be absolutely over the moon and counting the days down, but all I can think of is myself and how I'm feeling. How bad is that? The frustration of this is leading to me having awful mood swings and locking myself away from every one, which I know to be counter productive.
 


Crammy Mackem said:
Thought i'd have a look back at this thread as hadnt seen it for a while.

I've been having a hard time of things again. Its sort of fleeting between my anxiety and the related depression. I have to say it isnt every hour of every day, but I tend to get symptoms regularly each day.

The frustrating thing for me is the ups and downs. There is no clear path to this. One day you feel like you've got it all sussed, the next your frantically searching for some kind of reassurance and to feel safe again.

My wife is four months pregnant and I feel I should be absolutely over the moon and counting the days down, but all I can think of is myself and how I'm feeling. How bad is that? The frustration of this is leading to me having awful mood swings and locking myself away from every one, which I know to be counter productive.
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That's how i get with my anxiety, ups and downs. Once i came to accept it a bit more and realise i may always be like this at certain times, its makes it a bit easier to cope with.
 
wakey said:
Got my counselling assessment on Wednesday nervous as fuck for it as I don't know what to say, does anyone know do they guide the conversation or am I just meant to blurt out the mess that is my head?
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How did it gothen? Dont want details just was it any help and did you do as you were telt about telling all?
 
yorkyexile said:
Anyone see this yesterday?

Depression: A revolution in treatment? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-37166293

A big study is underway now to see if it's actually the immune system that alters your brains chemical make up rather than it doing it itself.
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That's canny interesting that.

Inflammation affects me physically. Crohns is inflamation of the bowel and digestive system however I know it can produce random inflamation in any other part of the body at any time. Today I've got pain in my right hip and knee joints which is probably from the Crohns I've not injured it or been doing strenuous exercise or anything like that.

They mention a test in the article. I don't know if it's faecal calprotectin which is the one I have done. The clinical cut off for high levels of inflamation is 50. My last one came back at 956, so yes it is a bit of a problem with me!

I do get really down when the Crohns is flaring because I feel so yuk and I have to rest and I can't do the stuff I want to do. I just though the depression was linked with being frustrated at my illness but maybe it's connected with my broken immune system and the inflammation.
 
My thoughts and prayers go to anyone suffering with any mental illness. There truly is nothing worse.

Never suffered with depression but I have struggled with and overcome an anxiety disorder on a couple of occasions.

At times it probably seems hard to believe but things will get better. Anyone need someone to talk to about anything then please don't be afraid to drop me a PM.
 
@safcrhys pleased to hear you've managed to overcome your anxiety disorder.

I think for me its a frustration of things not getting better and not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. That in itself brings on low mood and a feeling of being low.

I'm fortunate in that I've seen a couple of therapists, both on the NHS and having forked out for myself for therapy. Unfortunately it still hasn't allowed me to live the life I want to. I dont want to have self refer again as I know so many people out there have never been through treatment and the waiting lists are huge.

I just long for the 'old' me. The one who didnt have to think about how they were going to feel each and every day or avoid things because I would be focussed on how I was feeling. I know the aim is not to 'not want the feelings' but its hard to just let them be. Thats without even going in to the intrusive thoughts I suffer with.
 
becs said:
That's what I find hard. I haven't really got any family. There's my parents but my Dad is disabled after a stroke and my Mam struggles looking after him, so I don't like to burden her with my problems. My brother lives 350 miles away. All the other relatives are "weddings and funerals" type ones. Haven't seen some of them for years.

No colleagues as I work from home, so I don't get the office banter or "lets go out for lunch" type stuff.

Neighbours are friendly enough to chat in passing, take parcels in, put each others bins out etc., and there's several doors I could knock on if I had some kind of emergency and needed help. Nobody goes in each others houses for a natter or socialises though.

I've fallen out of the loop with the Mam's at school. I work full time and can't meet up during the day with people and just sort of get forgotten about when they organise nights out and stuff. I see FB pictures of them on nights out or days out with the bairns and think I would have loved to have gone to that, but I've not known about it until after the event. I've dropped hints but I don't get invited and I haven't got the guts to stand up and say please invite me in case they don't like me and I'm not being invited for a reason :oops:

There's nobody else. That's why I'm on here so much as it's the only human interaction I get really.
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Becs your such a nice kind lass, you've help me and no doubt plenty of others on here in the past. I wouldn't imagine the school mams are deliberately excluding you from stuff.

Maybe you could try organising a night out and invite a few of them along, or maybe a lunch time get together when you have time off work?
 
Pseudonym Number 1 said:
Maybe you could try organising a night out and invite a few of them along, or maybe a lunch time get together when you have time off work?
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I tried organising a night out to celebrate my 40th but nobody wanted to go out. Also tried one of these charity coffee mornings but nobody came.

I think I offended them when I went out just after I was put on azathioprine. They were going for a meal then out drinking. It made me really sleepy and exhausted at first. I was feeling tired through the meal and made my excuses and went home.

I can't drink much alcohol either which they find really weird and it's been a major topic of conversation wondering how I cope without wine etc. It makes me feel like a leper to be honest :oops:
 
becs said:
That's canny interesting that.

Inflammation affects me physically. Crohns is inflamation of the bowel and digestive system however I know it can produce random inflamation in any other part of the body at any time. Today I've got pain in my right hip and knee joints which is probably from the Crohns I've not injured it or been doing strenuous exercise or anything like that.

They mention a test in the article. I don't know if it's faecal calprotectin which is the one I have done. The clinical cut off for high levels of inflamation is 50. My last one came back at 956, so yes it is a bit of a problem with me!

I do get really down when the Crohns is flaring because I feel so yuk and I have to rest and I can't do the stuff I want to do. I just though the depression was linked with being frustrated at my illness but maybe it's connected with my broken immune system and the inflammation.
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It`s looking likely, although once the brain has tipped over you know yourself how easy it can become a viscious circle. So it looks like it`s entirely possible the immune system starts it, then the other factors, frustration ,anxiety etc keep the imbalance going.
 
I lost a family member this week. Killed himself. Same age as me. 25 ffs. Absolutely gutted and can't stop asking what if's?

Billy Batts said:
That's how i get with my anxiety, ups and downs. Once i came to accept it a bit more and realise i may always be like this at certain times, its makes it a bit easier to cope with.
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How long have you lived with it?
 
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Snappy said:
I lost a family member this week. Killed himself. Same age as me. 25 ffs. Absolutely gutted and can't stop asking what if's?



How long have you lived with it?
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ffs. Sympathies matey. And trust me there are no what if`s. He wanted it, it happened.It really is that simple, theres not a damn thing you can or could have done. And thats speaking from experience .....and a gradual dawning acceptance
 
Snappy said:
I lost a family member this week. Killed himself. Same age as me. 25 ffs. Absolutely gutted and can't stop asking what if's?



How long have you lived with it?
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Sorry to hear that mate.
Pretty much all my life but became unbearable earlier on in the year, used to be able to nip it in the bud quick and move on but got to the point where i couldn't do that, wasn't coping well. So bit the bullet and sought help, had counseling etc.
The what ifs come from your emotional part of your brain, your inner chimp fighting the rational part of your brain. Best advice i can give is to get a book called "the chimp paradox" its very good and extremely helpful. Got mine off Amazon.
 
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yorkyexile said:
ffs. Sympathies matey. And trust me there are no what if`s. He wanted it, it happened.It really is that simple, theres not a damn thing you can or could have done. And thats speaking from experience .....and a gradual dawning acceptance
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Deep down I know that. I guess it's me just searching for some sort of answer whilst knowing they are already in front of me yet I don't want to accept them.

Jacka said:
Remember the good times mate!
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I will. Depression, well all mental illness is such a bastard.

Billy Batts said:
Sorry to hear that mate.
Pretty much all my life but became unbearable earlier on in the year, used to be able to nip it in the bud quick and move on but got to the point where i couldn't do that, wasn't coping well. So bit the bullet and sought help, had counseling etc.
The what ifs come from your emotional part of your brain, your inner chimp fighting the rational part of your brain. Best advice i can give is to get a book called "the chimp paradox" its very good and extremely helpful. Got mine off Amazon.
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Cheers mate.

I'll look into that book. If you ever need to chat you've got my number.
 
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