Depression

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Snappy said:
Deep down I know that. I guess it's me just searching for some sort of answer whilst knowing they are already in front of me yet I don't want to accept them.



I will. Depression, well all mental illness is such a bastard.



Cheers mate.

I'll look into that book. If you ever need to chat you've got my number.
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We need to get back on the destiny train, when the expansion comes out! @Pseudonym Number 1
 


I'm off work but I've been feeling a bit low again, I'm worried that I'm failing at life tbh. I had 2 minor surgical procedures yesterday (to remove lesions) and I'm hoping that the results come back clear, fingers crossed.
 
Found a brilliant analogy for the type of anxiety I experience. It's like growing mushrooms that are competing for space. I think rationally about my problems and solve them, like picking one mushroom. But then the other mushrooms grow to fill the space left by that one. Constantly having to worry about picking one mushroom after another has just beat the shit out of me for years now and I need a break from it. Just comes in waves of absolute despair a couple of times a week. I could be having a great time with family and friends and then I just snap into this state where I don't want to talk to anyone and even them talking pisses me off.

I need to learn that I have a choice, worrying about things is a choice. I could choose not to. I know now I really need to make a change somewhere in my life.
 
Snappy said:
I lost a family member this week. Killed himself. Same age as me. 25 ffs. Absolutely gutted and can't stop asking what if's?
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Sorry to hear this.
If you can try & remember them for all the happy positive content times they no doubt had during their life rather than their final choice or act.
Difficult right now understandably with it being so fresh but you should be able to long term once the shock & surprise element has gone.
When my older brother was in his mid 20s one of his best mates died from carbon monoxide poisoning in his family home garage.
During the last couple of weeks of his life he did at least 3 of the classic final things that suicidal people do that loved ones & friends reflect on in hindsight afterwards & all the usual 'what ifs' get thought of & discussed.
Normally no one can predict these things in advance though.
Best wishes.
 
Feeling a bit low today, dreading going back to work after all the recent shit there and have been stuck in the house the last 2 days, really hope I can at least get a new job in the short term to pick me up and give me something to look forward to.
 
Charmless Man said:
Found a brilliant analogy for the type of anxiety I experience. It's like growing mushrooms that are competing for space. I think rationally about my problems and solve them, like picking one mushroom. But then the other mushrooms grow to fill the space left by that one. Constantly having to worry about picking one mushroom after another has just beat the shit out of me for years now and I need a break from it. Just comes in waves of absolute despair a couple of times a week. I could be having a great time with family and friends and then I just snap into this state where I don't want to talk to anyone and even them talking pisses me off.

I need to learn that I have a choice, worrying about things is a choice. I could choose not to. I know now I really need to make a change somewhere in my life.
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Have you tried mindfulness? I find it very good for breaking the habit of the mind to worry and to find something to worry about (your mushrooms).
 
The Breen Machine said:
Feeling a bit low today, dreading going back to work after all the recent shit there and have been stuck in the house the last 2 days, really hope I can at least get a new job in the short term to pick me up and give me something to look forward to.
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My physical health is up and down with the crohns at the moment and sometimes it's a massive effort just to get dressed and get out of the house for work!

On days I'm not feeling good, I give myself little pep talks throughout the day. I'll be telling myself in my head stuff like "gerrin, you've survived 25% of the day! You're doing great! You'll get this all done in no time!" In the run up to dinner, it'll be "come on, get this call done and you can stop for your sarnie." Then in the afternoons I'll be telling myself things like "come on, you're only an hour away from seeing the bairn and the dogs now, keep going!"

I probably sound like a right nutter now, but it does help me.

Hope tomorrow goes ok xx
 
becs said:
My physical health is up and down with the crohns at the moment and sometimes it's a massive effort just to get dressed and get out of the house for work!

On days I'm not feeling good, I give myself little pep talks throughout the day. I'll be telling myself in my head stuff like "gerrin, you've survived 25% of the day! You're doing great! You'll get this all done in no time!" In the run up to dinner, it'll be "come on, get this call done and you can stop for your sarnie." Then in the afternoons I'll be telling myself things like "come on, you're only an hour away from seeing the bairn and the dogs now, keep going!"

I probably sound like a right nutter now, but it does help me.

Hope tomorrow goes ok xx
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Thanks Becs,

I'm trying to give myself little gee-up's, like saying to myself "You're better than this/them" and "Just walk out if you aren't happy, you can manage" but I still have that feeling of dread, fear of the unknown I guess. A new start would be good, and give me the positivity with other aspects of my life too.
 
yorkyexile said:
How did it gothen? Dont want details just was it any help and did you do as you were telt about telling all?
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Well I was a little taken aback as I got myself geared up to spill my heart and soul but it was an assessment with mainly yes or no answers! Came out feeling the same fristration you get after the strippers!
 
greedminds said:
Hookers and blow
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Fantastic level of support. You obviously haven't gone through it or fully understood / give a flying Fuck about anyone that has.

Haven't seen this thread til now or went through the replies.

Get counselling and don't be scared to share this with those you consider true friends. If they care, they'll never stop helping, listening or supporting you...

greedminds said:
Seriously. Go talk to your gp
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It's a good first step. At the least, they'll refer you to a counsellor or psychiatrist...
 
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NewAdventuresInWiFi said:
Sorry to hear this.
If you can try & remember them for all the happy positive content times they no doubt had during their life rather than their final choice or act.
Difficult right now understandably with it being so fresh but you should be able to long term once the shock & surprise element has gone.
When my older brother was in his mid 20s one of his best mates died from carbon monoxide poisoning in his family home garage.
During the last couple of weeks of his life he did at least 3 of the classic final things that suicidal people do that loved ones & friends reflect on in hindsight afterwards & all the usual 'what ifs' get thought of & discussed.
Normally no one can predict these things in advance though.
Best wishes.
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Cheers mate. Had a rough weekend and I'm dreading the funeral on Thursday. It'll be a long, lonely drive up on Wednesday night. I've accepted I'll never know why he did it. I know he'll forever live on within my thoughts and memories.

It has brought back all my bad thoughts though regarding depression and anxiety that I thought I'd got a handle on. My lass has been my rock throughout this though and I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'll keep plodding on. I appreciate the message mate.
 
Snappy said:
I lost a family member this week. Killed himself. Same age as me. 25 ffs. Absolutely gutted and can't stop asking what if's?



How long have you lived with it?
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There are no answers to the what if's, they are just questions which bring more questions. My condolences go out to you and your family. I understand the torment the lad was going through and not sure if this sounds insensitive but as someone who tried to end their life only months ago I will say that he would have wanted you all to be happy in his decision and for you to remember him for the positive mark he left. I remember talking with my mam and brother in an attempt to convince them that it was what I wanted I even suggested euthanasia, I had tried everything up until that point and became convinced that it was the only way out. I'm probably not the best person to be taking advice from with regards to depression, anxiety, stress so understand if many disregard this and tell me I am reckless for saying so but for me at least it is true when they say you have to destroy your life to rebuild it. For me I was constantly trying to apply more bricks to a foundation that had become unsteady, I had to destroy everything because 'keeping it together' would see me fall into similar patterns. I don't regret my actions just the mental scars I have passed on, if I didn't take the action I did I would still be going back and forth with my psychiatrist and GP.
 
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