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Work stress; Diazepam

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fyl2u said:
No, I'm a Website Content Manager / Brand Manager / Design Concept Creator / Marketing Manager / Social Media Manager / Intellectual Property Law advisor for a clothing printing company's 2 biggest selling websites, and sole Licensing Executive / Contract Law Executive in charge of finding clients, writing legal contracts, and examining and proposing alterations to legal contracts from other companies for our new merchandising sister-company, for which I just landed them a massive merchandising deal for a popular computer game after working on it with no help from anyone else for the last year.

£8 an hour I'm on, getting criticised for micro-nonsense regularly, and just got a verbal warning on Monday for a bit of ludicrously minor workplace banter with a close friend in another department.

I work 4 days a week, and it costs me £15 a day in taxis to get to and from work, so for the last 3 years I've been working my ass off for them and living in practical poverty while they're creaming in the cash from the work I do for them.

If I were to quit, they'd need to hire at least 3 people to replace me, and would probably have to pay each of them more than they pay me.

Basically, one of the two directors doesn't like the fact I don't kiss his ass like a mindless worshipper, and so I think he's got my direct supervisor out looking for any possible infraction they can whip me with to force me out of the company legally.
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Ask him. Seriously, ask him man-to-man if he has a problem with you or your work. If he's a 'man' he'll have the balls to tell you and you'll know where you stand, if he's not a 'man' he'll shit himself that he's been sussed and probably try to undo what you think he's done.
 

Valium for a spot of work related stress? Are you mad? It's more addictive than heroin.

My stress developed into full-blown anxiety and chronic pain but I managed to bugger on through with CBT and painkillers. In fact, I would definitely go down the CBT or Mindfulness road, as that is a proper, long-term fix, not a sticking plaster.
 
Boris Bear said:
Careful with being labeled with stress.....from a reputational perspective that stuff can follow you around.
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Got to disagree with this. Anyone who thinks less of anyone else because they have had stress is not just misguided but could possibly do a lot of harm. We cannot expect people to suffer in silence. We have to destigmatise it. As Phil's story shows, it's rarely the sufferer's fault.
 
fyl2u said:
I have no formal qualifications in law unfortunately. All my experience has been on-the-job through necessity of there being nobody else in the company that could understand it and the company not wanting to pay external solicitors to do it. It seriously started as "Right, we've been in trouble a few times over copyright infringement, we should probably have someone that understands it - Phil, look into it... here's some money to buy some books on it", and before I knew it I was composing their licensing contracts to make officially licensed merchandise.
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If you feel confident that no one else can do what you're doing where you work and if you left they'd have to replace you and pay more I'd say lay your cards on the table. Tell them you want the going rate whatever that is and if you don't get it walk out. I'm assuming you work for a small company and at the end of the day you've got to back yourself and what you've done for them. It seems like they're taking the piss with you cos they know they can get away with it.
 
janiep said:
Got to disagree with this. Anyone who thinks less of anyone else because they have had stress is not just misguided but could possibly do a lot of harm. We cannot expect people to suffer in silence. We have to destigmatise it. As Phil's story shows, it's rarely the sufferer's fault.
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I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with here. I'm not saying it is right that it is stigmatized but I think it's a fact

There are lots of employers who would avoid someone who has suffered with stress. It can be a minefield for an employer and they wouldn't necessarily dig deeper all other things being equal.
 
Tex said:
Shifting that amount of booze is mental like, you're on the slippery slope there.
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Couldn't agree more.

janiep said:
Got to disagree with this. Anyone who thinks less of anyone else because they have had stress is not just misguided but could possibly do a lot of harm. We cannot expect people to suffer in silence. We have to destigmatise it. As Phil's story shows, it's rarely the sufferer's fault.
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Maybe, but who can blame any potential employer for attempting to avoid the problem, if they know it has surfaced previously?
 
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You have very marketable skills marra. You can easily earn more than £8 an hour but might want to focus on one or two areas that you enjoy the most/are best at and market the rest as 'additional' experience.
Going rate for your skills would be over 250 per day in my experience......if you are any good.
Why not joing a few agencies who specialise in those web skills . they will give you a good idea of what they could find you. Once you build up a portfolio of work you can start thinking about going total freelance or look for senior permanent positions.

In the meantime, pack in with the weed. I suspect thats causing you issues you don't even realise. Cut down on the wine. Every other night or two nights off, one night on.
Go to the gym/ go for a run/swim instead. try a swim before work if you have time (or a run at lunchtime, even a brisk walk) and take some of the other advice onboard from here also. Sounds like its all in your own hands mate, time for you to take control - starting with your weed and wine habit.
 
Boris Bear said:
I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with here. I'm not saying it is right that it is stigmatized but I think it's a fact

There are lots of employers who would avoid someone who has suffered with stress. It can be a minefield for an employer and they wouldn't necessarily dig deeper all other things being equal.
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Can employers access medical records like?
 
Boris Bear said:
They can talk to each other
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Aye true. Still wouldn't let it put someone off acknowledging that it's a problem though. If you're good at your job then just need to back yourself and by the sounds of it the OP seems like he knows his stuff in what he does.

Boris Bear said:
Not in my case.

They can also check social media
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Aye definitely be wary of the old social media search from new employers like. Can and does put potential employers off.
 
fyl2u said:
No, I'm a Website Content Manager / Brand Manager / Design Concept Creator / Marketing Manager / Social Media Manager / Intellectual Property Law advisor for a clothing printing company's 2 biggest selling websites, and sole Licensing Executive / Contract Law Executive in charge of finding clients, writing legal contracts, and examining and proposing alterations to legal contracts from other companies for our new merchandising sister-company, for which I just landed them a massive merchandising deal for a popular computer game after working on it with no help from anyone else for the last year.

£8 an hour I'm on, getting criticised for micro-nonsense regularly, and just got a verbal warning on Monday for a bit of ludicrously minor workplace banter with a close friend in another department.

I work 4 days a week, and it costs me £15 a day in taxis to get to and from work, so for the last 3 years I've been working my ass off for them and living in practical poverty while they're creaming in the cash from the work I do for them.

If I were to quit, they'd need to hire at least 3 people to replace me, and would probably have to pay each of them more than they pay me.

Basically, one of the two directors doesn't like the fact I don't kiss his ass like a mindless worshipper, and so I think he's got my direct supervisor out looking for any possible infraction they can whip me with to force me out of the company legally.
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You have all those titles/ job descriptions but only earn £8 an hour? The person you replied to asked if you worked in a call centre, I'd seriously consider a call centre if i was you. You shouldn't have responsibility and stress on that rate of pay.
Take control of your life and find a new job, life's too short for that shit. Either that or hit somebody, that will make you feel better.:)
 
Silverfox1981 said:
Aye true. Still wouldn't let it put someone off acknowledging that it's a problem though. If you're good at your job then just need to back yourself and by the sounds of it the OP seems like he knows his stuff in what he does.
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Just be careful would be my advice....there are alarm bells going off in HR whenever someone mentions certain words like 'stress', 'depression', etc

I've been stressed with work before.....18 hour days, 6 days a week, had to make all my UK team redundant and replace them with unskilled Indians, unreasonable megalomaniac boss.

I was pretty much rock bottom but I didn't go off with stress.....I searched for another job and counted the days until I got one





All things being equal if I had 2 candidates with pretty similar skills and experience and I found out one had suffered with stress I would avoid him.

I might also avoid a woman with children in the same circumstances as they are more likely to want time off......unless they were particularly attractive

Silverfox1981 said:
Aye true. Still wouldn't let it put someone off acknowledging that it's a problem though. If you're good at your job then just need to back yourself and by the sounds of it the OP seems like he knows his stuff in what he does.



Aye definitely be wary of the old social media search from new employers like. Can and does put potential employers off.
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First thing I do is google them, then have a look on Facebook and twitter, then have a look on linkedin.

My cousin was posting on Facebook asking whether he should grass a colleague who he believed was fiddling his expenses.....I couldn't believe it
 
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Boris Bear said:
Just be careful would be my advice....there are alarm bells going off in HR whenever someone mentions certain words like 'stress', 'depression', etc

I've been stressed with work before.....18 hour days, 6 days a week, had to make all my UK team redundant and replace them with unskilled Indians, unreasonable megalomaniac boss.

I was pretty much rock bottom but I didn't go off with stress.....I searched for another job and counted the days until I got one





All things being equal if I had 2 candidates with pretty similar skills and experience and I found out one had suffered with stress I would avoid him.

I might also avoid a woman with children in the same circumstances as they are more likely to want time off......unless they were particularly attractive


First thing I do is google them, then have a look on Facebook and twitter, then have a look on linkedin.

My cousin was posting on Facebook asking whether he should grass a colleague who he believed was fiddling his expenses.....I couldn't believe it
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Aye gotta be careful what the world can see like.
 
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