Using a bidet



Flared Hicks said:
Shave after shower for me, my lovely skin is softer then.
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Prefer the other way but the point still stands.

Our boiler is in the garage and the master bathroom (look at me!) is upstairs in the diametrically opposite corner of the house so it takes a while for the hot water to get through. I would get dead legs sitting on the bog or a cold porcelain bidet waiting for the water to warm up enough.
 
This thread man! :lol:

I do remember being very confused the first time I saw one. I know what they're for but the usage of them still baffles me. Ok you now no longer have a shitty arse (which btw what sort of fucked up shits are some of you taking that you have so much detritus stuck to your arse that needs a bum shower instead of toilet paper) but you now have a soaking wet arse, do you just pull up the boxers and head off or stick your arse in front of the dyson drier to get air dried?!?!
 
When we were on the road in Morroco stayed three days with a lad and his family in Kinitra, showed us the bog when we got there, it was a turk with foot gap top and bottom of the door, nee bother for me pissing. Then explained the shitting rules on the wall was a tap, a bucket and a clothes line with bits of cloth hanging on it. No bog paper ya shit, flush it away, then with some water in the bucket and one of the clothes you washed and dried your arse.You hadn't to forget to wash and wring the cloth out for the next person. Left earlier than planned busting for a shite, think that's what kicked the challfonts off.
 
black cat in france said:
When we were on the road in Morroco stayed three days with a lad and his family in Kinitra, showed us the bog when we got there, it was a turk with foot gap top and bottom of the door, nee bother for me pissing. Then explained the shitting rules on the wall was a tap, a bucket and a clothes line with bits of cloth hanging on it. No bog paper ya shit, flush it away, then with some water in the bucket and one of the clothes you washed and dried your arse.You hadn't to forget to wash and wring the cloth out for the next person. Left earlier than planned busting for a shite, think that's what kicked the challfonts off.
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:eek:
 
Reminds of when me and the lads went to magaluf...bathroom had a bidet.

walking into said bathroom the morning after the first session the bidet had what I can only describe as oxo soup filling it.

Clearly one of the lads had had a shit in it and struggled to ‘flush’ it the filthy bastard.

He thought it funny, I thought it funnier using his toothbrush to stir the fucker
 
black cat in france said:
When we were on the road in Morroco stayed three days with a lad and his family in Kinitra, showed us the bog when we got there, it was a turk with foot gap top and bottom of the door, nee bother for me pissing. Then explained the shitting rules on the wall was a tap, a bucket and a clothes line with bits of cloth hanging on it. No bog paper ya shit, flush it away, then with some water in the bucket and one of the clothes you washed and dried your arse.You hadn't to forget to wash and wring the cloth out for the next person. Left earlier than planned busting for a shite, think that's what kicked the challfonts off.
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I hear you Cat, the Farmers swole up like a ripe bunch of Lebanese grapes, or a vine of beef tomatoes?

Feel yer pain bro.
 
Just a quickie on this, one should always use a veterinary dog ruff when using the bum gun if you want to keep the ‘spatter footprint’ contained.

*Simply place the device over the target area broad end forward and shoot the gun through the neck end.

This contains the arse pebbles and can save endless time cleaning down the walls


*may need two people to perform this manouvre.
 

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