- Status
Monty's Double
Striker
... which was nice.
T
The Exile
Guest
Bono Estente.
Enjoyed it, but found some parts very dark.........almost.........black.......
Enjoyed it, but found some parts very dark.........almost.........black.......
Typhoonftm
Striker
The Fullwell Step
Striker
I loved this show back in the day. Some tremendous characters.
I found a sheep mate with a white body and a black head.
Get off me show mate.
I found a sheep mate with a white body and a black head.
Get off me show mate.
Typhoonftm
Striker
T
The Exile
Guest
He did find an invisible silent half man half beast half spirit creature though.
Typhoonftm
Striker
Anyone fancy a pint?
"Me, the 13th Duke of Wymbourne? Here, in a women's prison at 3 AM? With my reputation? What were they thinking?"
"Me, the 13th Duke of Wymbourne? Here, in a women's prison at 3 AM? With my reputation? What were they thinking?"
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A
Anthrax666
Guest
And Karl Hooper...
Simon Day had to be the best actor on that show
Now thats amazing...
Edit: Bollocks... our lass told is to put the bin out so i missed the last few posts
T
The Exile
Guest
Uncategorisable. Is that a word? It is now!
'Next week on the show - Bats. Are they really blind, or just taking the piss out of me?'
'Next week on the show - Bats. Are they really blind, or just taking the piss out of me?'
Typhoonftm
Striker
"This week, I 'ave been mostly wearing, Dolce y Gabbana"
Hardyman's Yugo
Striker
Some of the Paul Whitehouse character sketches, the ones where he says things are great, were filmed near Spanish City in Whitley Bay and some in Ashington
Typhoonftm
Striker
Cairo!... [emits a high pitch squeak; rambles] ...very unstable, politically, pandimonium!... [rambles] ...a poisonous monkey... [rambles] ...very small chaps, but immensely strong... [rambles] ...hah! like that. It was a completely wasted journey... [rambles] ...Snake! Snake! Aah! Brrr! Gin!...[rambles; mimes holding something] ...lift the thing up, I didn't know what to do... [rambles] ...I made a dreadful hash of his arm, I really did... [rambles] ...I freely admit, that I was very, very drunk.
Swiss Toni: What is a woman, Paul?
Paul: I beg your pardon, Swiss?
Swiss Toni: Watch me. Learn from me. I could teach you everything there is to know about this business. These aren't cars we're selling here, they're dreams. And to know about cars, to know about dreams, you have to know about women.
Paul: Right, yes, Swiss.
Swiss Toni: A woman is not just a creature that likes fine wines, Whitney Houston films, and the manly smell of a pipe. A woman is a mysterious, complex box of tricks. When you're selling a car to woman, you have to imagine you're making love to her. You have to seduce her. And when she buys, that's the Big-O: Orgasm central. Multiple orgasm would be if she bought lots of cars.
Paul: Like a fleet?
Swiss Toni: Yes, but, that never happens.
Paul: What if you're selling a car to a bloke?
Swiss Toni: Then it's all about todgers. These aren't cars, they're todgers.
Paul: But I thought you said they were dreams?
Swiss Toni: You ever dream about todgers, Paul?
Paul: No.
Swiss Toni: No, no. Neither do I, obviously. When you're selling a car to man, it all comes down to who's got the biggest todger. You have to make him think that his is bigger. But, in order to sell it to him, you have to know that yours is the biggest. You have to keep telling yourself, "I've got the biggest todger in the world".
Paul: I've got the biggest todger in the world.
Swiss Toni: It's not as big as mine, Paul. It's not as big as mine.
Swiss Toni: What is a woman, Paul?
Paul: I beg your pardon, Swiss?
Swiss Toni: Watch me. Learn from me. I could teach you everything there is to know about this business. These aren't cars we're selling here, they're dreams. And to know about cars, to know about dreams, you have to know about women.
Paul: Right, yes, Swiss.
Swiss Toni: A woman is not just a creature that likes fine wines, Whitney Houston films, and the manly smell of a pipe. A woman is a mysterious, complex box of tricks. When you're selling a car to woman, you have to imagine you're making love to her. You have to seduce her. And when she buys, that's the Big-O: Orgasm central. Multiple orgasm would be if she bought lots of cars.
Paul: Like a fleet?
Swiss Toni: Yes, but, that never happens.
Paul: What if you're selling a car to a bloke?
Swiss Toni: Then it's all about todgers. These aren't cars, they're todgers.
Paul: But I thought you said they were dreams?
Swiss Toni: You ever dream about todgers, Paul?
Paul: No.
Swiss Toni: No, no. Neither do I, obviously. When you're selling a car to man, it all comes down to who's got the biggest todger. You have to make him think that his is bigger. But, in order to sell it to him, you have to know that yours is the biggest. You have to keep telling yourself, "I've got the biggest todger in the world".
Paul: I've got the biggest todger in the world.
Swiss Toni: It's not as big as mine, Paul. It's not as big as mine.
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The Fullwell Step
Striker
Alright Karl. It's amazing mate but I've found an ever lasting pen. See it can write and again and again
Ah it's run out.
Get off me show mate
Ah it's run out.
Get off me show mate
Typhoonftm
Striker
Unlucky Alf: I just bought meself a parrot, something to keep me company now that I'm on me own. Though knowing my luck it probbly wont say 'owt.
[he looks at the parrot, wo just stares right back and says nothing]
Unlucky Alf: Bugger!
[he sits down in his chair]
Parrot: Wanker...wanker!
Unlucky Alf: Bu...
Parrot: Wanker!
Unlucky Alf: B...
Parrot: Twat! Twat! Twat! You Twat! Twat!
[he looks at the parrot, wo just stares right back and says nothing]
Unlucky Alf: Bugger!
[he sits down in his chair]
Parrot: Wanker...wanker!
Unlucky Alf: Bu...
Parrot: Wanker!
Unlucky Alf: B...
Parrot: Twat! Twat! Twat! You Twat! Twat!
DJP
Striker
Butros butros ghali
Typhoonftm
Striker
B
becs
Guest
I'll get me coat.
W
West Winger
Guest
The Long Big Punch Up
- Status
