Some Advice Needed

Gillythedilf said:
Tbh mate it looks like she's been knocking around with this lad for yonks and has made her mind up.

Really ,really sad situation for the op but I think he's just got to let her go and try and separate amicably so she doesn't start using the boy as a stick to beat him with.Feel heartily sorry for the op,does he want her back after she's fell for someone else .?I wouldn't judge him either way tbh just hope it gets sorted for all concerned .
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Depends how far she’s turned I guess. Often marriages fail because of lack of talk.

I would definitely try if he feels this way. But I know what you’re saying.
 


Mace said:
Not one to post stuff like this but recently split up with the missus of five years. Got a belter of a little lad together. Still love the lass like mad she's me best mate but she said she didn't feel the same way anymore. Been a shit six months losing me job, family and home and suffering with what i think is depression isn't helping.

Had a feeling in me gut this last week or so, so a asked her if she was seeing someone else. She said no but she has been talking to someone. Absolute kick in the balls. Told her with all that's going on in me head and that that a feel like ive got one last fight in me to save our family and relationship and got told a would be wasting me time.

Devastated doesn't even come close. Do i f***ing fight or walk away? Me head is absolutely boxed to bits. Like i said i wouldnt normally post stuff like this but any advice would be welcome.
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Walk away and get on with your life, easier said than done I know

Don’t mope around her and just look like you’re getting on with things and are happy
 
Mace said:
Not one to post stuff like this but recently split up with the missus of five years. Got a belter of a little lad together. Still love the lass like mad she's me best mate but she said she didn't feel the same way anymore. Been a shit six months losing me job, family and home and suffering with what i think is depression isn't helping.

Had a feeling in me gut this last week or so, so a asked her if she was seeing someone else. She said no but she has been talking to someone. Absolute kick in the balls. Told her with all that's going on in me head and that that a feel like ive got one last fight in me to save our family and relationship and got told a would be wasting me time.

Devastated doesn't even come close. Do i f***ing fight or walk away? Me head is absolutely boxed to bits. Like i said i wouldnt normally post stuff like this but any advice would be welcome.
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Have you been to the docs about the depression?

Does she know it’s depression you think you’re suffering from? If she does and she’s still left you then she’s not a keeper marra.
 
Mace said:
Not one to post stuff like this but recently split up with the missus of five years. Got a belter of a little lad together. Still love the lass like mad she's me best mate but she said she didn't feel the same way anymore. Been a shit six months losing me job, family and home and suffering with what i think is depression isn't helping.

Had a feeling in me gut this last week or so, so a asked her if she was seeing someone else. She said no but she has been talking to someone. Absolute kick in the balls. Told her with all that's going on in me head and that that a feel like ive got one last fight in me to save our family and relationship and got told a would be wasting me time.

Devastated doesn't even come close. Do i f***ing fight or walk away? Me head is absolutely boxed to bits. Like i said i wouldnt normally post stuff like this but any advice would be welcome.
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Sadly not uncommon ,I was 15 years in and that was nearly 5 years ago
Luckily I had plenty going on ,good mates ,hobbies etc but I was devastated .You have to look forward and not back and just look after yourself and your kid . Ive had other relationships but find I love my single life and freedom too much now .My ex has acknowledged how badly she handled it all and acknowledged what a big stink I could of made of it all but didn't .I didn't because it wouldn't have made me feel better .
PM me anytime mate even just for a natter
 
Asked her if a could pop in and see the bairn for half an hour and have been told no because she "really can't be arsed". Even if a didn't want to a have to walk now.
 
Mace said:
Asked her if a could pop in and see the bairn for half an hour and have been told no because she "really can't be arsed". Even if a didn't want to a have to walk now.
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It can be extremely difficult negotiating with an ex over access. I went through hell at the start as it is often the last bit of power they have over you. You would be better off agreeing set times and days. Than randomly asking. I get mine every other weekend and every Tuesday for tea. Is she close to her mother? Is her mother sensible. I found it easier agreeing things with her mother then she was less likely to tell me to f off when I'm stood on the doorstep to pick them up. Haha
 
Mace said:
Asked her if a could pop in and see the bairn for half an hour and have been told no because she "really can't be arsed". Even if a didn't want to a have to walk now.
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Sorry for you, marra.

Sounds like it's already ended, so keep your dignity even if she acts up.
 
Mace said:
Asked her if a could pop in and see the bairn for half an hour and have been told no because she "really can't be arsed". Even if a didn't want to a have to walk now.
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That's rubbish that mate :(

Second the comments about arranging set access dates. It makes it easier to plan things if you both know where the bairn will be.
 
Was told by her that she would never use him as a weapon as she wants us to be co-parents. f***ing head is battered. He's literally the only thing ive got.
 
Mace said:
Was told by her that she would never use him as a weapon as she wants us to be co-parents. f***ing head is battered. He's literally the only thing ive got.
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Take charge of the situation. Make arrangements for access to your son. Take steps to sort your mental health. How long do you think you've had depression? just after the break up or was it whilst you were together?
 
MigsGoalKicks said:
Take charge of the situation. Make arrangements for access to your son. Take steps to sort your mental health. How long do you think you've had depression? just after the break up or was it whilst you were together?
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Been about a year mate. Lost me job in November then this has happened resulting in me losing me home and family it's all just come on top at once.
 
Might not be possible but is it worth considering. ? ( not sure of living arrangements)

She wants to leave the relationship, surely the child should be left with the dad. She seems to want to walk away but take aswell.

The child has every right to be with the committed parent surely, not the one who "can't be arsed".
 
peachbum said:
Might not be possible but is it worth considering. ? ( not sure of living arrangements)

She wants to leave the relationship, surely the child should be left with the dad. She seems to want to walk away but take aswell.

The child has every right to be with the committed parent surely, not the one who "can't be arsed".
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Mate i'm a 40 second walk away at my parents which is making it even worse
 

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