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SMB Film Thread 2025

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Jingle All The Way (1996)

Horrible, dated, cheesy, cheap-looking, mostly unfunny, badly acted and doesn’t really say anything. Enjoyed Phil Hartman’s performance, but that’s about it. The film is a depressing mess.

Yet I watched it all, because it’s Christmas.

3/10

Merry Christmas, film thread people!
 

Jingle All The Way (1996)

Horrible, dated, cheesy, cheap-looking, mostly unfunny, badly acted and doesn’t really say anything. Enjoyed Phil Hartman’s performance, but that’s about it. The film is a depressing mess.

Yet I watched it all, because it’s Christmas.

3/10

Merry Christmas, film thread people!
Used to like it, kind of sums up what a lot of parents gan through to get the latest and greatest although it is exactly what you say. It's a typical 90s Arnie film when he plays anything that's not terminator, predator etc. Pretty harmless film imo
 
Used to like it, kind of sums up what a lot of parents gan through to get the latest and greatest although it is exactly what you say. It's a typical 90s Arnie film when he plays anything that's not terminator, predator etc. Pretty harmless film imo
I don't mind some bits of it. I enjoy the first half more than the second. Even the sentiment of the second isn’t too bad, it’s just handled in such a naff way.
 
Joyeux Noel - (2005) - Prime Video

Fictional story based on the true story of the spontaneous, temporary truce between allied forces and the German army in the trenches on Christmas Eve 1914. Drippingly over-sentimental at times, but it's a Christmas movie so I'll give it a free pass on that.

Quite touching in places, with some decent actors in the lead roles - Daniel Bruhl, Guillaume Canet, Diane Kruger. Also some lovely snippets of opera in there too, which I like. I'm in the middle of reading a trilogy of First World War novels at the mo, so this seemed fitting Xmas Eve entertainment for me.

Recommended if you fancy a not-so-traditional Christmas movie this year.


7/10

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Train Dreams - Netflix

Beautiful, thoughtful and tender film. One of the best films I've seen this year, with a brilliant performance from Joel Edgerton.

For all that there are seemingly endless troughs of absolute shite that Netflix has commissioned and produced, occasionally they produce something genuinely interesting with some real heft. I'd put this up there with All Quiet on the Western Front, Uncut Gems, Power of The Dog, Marriage Story and Roma as one of the best films they've ever done.

9/10
Beautifully shot, a real focus on relationships and what a human experience could have been in early 20th century America as a logger/rail road labourer
 
Watched the new Predator yesterday, enjoyed it and liked the twist to the main predator and also the WY involvement strengthened the universe. 7.5/10

Jaws - "That scene" still made me jump 9.5/10
 
Anaconda (2025)

Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Thandie Newton and Steve Zahn travel into the Amazon to make a low budget anaconda reboot, then encounter an actual anaconda. Not quite enough laughs, but a few very funny sequences. Daft enough to pass the time and at 1 hour 40 it doesn’t drag.

5/10
 
The new Avatar
Went to see it with jr on Xmas eve. Way way too long at over 3 hrs with loads and loads of shit filler, could have knocked an hour and a half off and still managed to get the story thru.

Story is pretty week too and drags along interspersed with pointless scenes which I can only presumed were to shoehorn in more 3d stuff
Time to let the franchise die as its pretty dire

3/10 and the 3 was for the 3d stuff which still looks ok at times
 
Jaws

Spielberg masterpiece.

Schneider, Shaw and Dreyfus delivering a brilliant trio of performances. Shaw chewing the screen, Shame he died not long after this.

Juts a brilliant, entertaining film. Easy to watch. Hard to knock. Cobra score of 9/10

Didnt realise he died of a heart attack just three years later. Was funny hearing how posh he sounded in real laugh anarl in the documentary.
 
Bugonia. 2025. ?/10.
I honestly don’t know what to say about this one. Pod this one @Cockney Mackem i dare you. I double dare you!

I'll help, having watched it last night... shite.

There was no way they could land the ending that was ever going to be entertaining for me. Im boxing that with Fight Club & Black Swan - hours of my life I'll never get back. All total bollox.
 
Beowulf Sky cinema

Winston’s, Hopkins, wright, jokie, malkovich

Really enjoyable CGI generated fantasy romp based in Denmark circa 500AD
About a warrior who comes to kill a monster for a King, then things spiral.

Good fun
A cobra score of 8/10
 
Random old stuff…

Operation Manhunt (1954) - YouTube

Fictionalised retelling of the defection of a Soviet agent in Canada, and the Russian attempts to kill him. Extremely basic, with wooden acting, and the indoor scenes are very amateurish. The outdoor location footage is quite nice. Watchable in parts.

4/10

The Man in the Road (1956) - YouTube

Derek Farr finds a bloke dead in the road. Upon investigating, he gets jumped. He wakes up with amnesia in a nursing home and is told that he’s a man named Ivan and he’s due to travel to Russia. Ella Raines and Donald Wolfit also star. Decent mystery film with an engaging pace.

6/10

The Judge (1949)

A lawyer who specialises in getting murderous shits acquitted starts to plan for the future.
Got to admit, this is very cheap and pretty stupid, but it had me engaged throughout. Decent noir effort despite the many failings.

5/10

I Am The Law (1938)

Edward G Robinson is persuaded to become a special prosecutor to clean up the city. His attempts to play it by the book fail, so he takes unorthodox routes to achieve his aims.

Intriguing drama that’s very much wishful thinking, but I found it very entertaining. The point halfway through where EGR flicks a switch and turns into an uncompromising, snarling figurehead for society’s fightback is great. He’s at he’s best when he’s going at people like a Rottweiler. He takes no shit and the fight scene is class. Above average film made even better by EGR.

8/10
 
Marty Supreme... OK, not the five star movie some reviews claim, but not the worst movie ive seen this year. Not sure why it wasn't a perfect movie, perhaps the story wasn't quite as gripping as I expected. Id left Paltrow hold my hand if she asked mind... ;)
 
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