Magnum Farce
Budget cuts force Clint Eastwood to fight crime with a choc ice instead of a gun.
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Magnum Farce
Budget cuts force Clint Eastwood to fight crime with a choc ice instead of a gun.
The Hurt Cocker
Tense, multi-Oscar nominated Iraq war drama about a bomb disposal squad led by a spaniel with an injured paw.
Tense, multi-Oscar nominated Iraq war drama about a bomb disposal squad led by a spaniel with an injured paw.
G
garydon
Guest
The Blue Max - George Peppard stars as the German pilot who in a desperate attempt to gain the most kills, strangles and moiders his butler Max and his dog, Autobahn.
Two Ronnie Darko
Ronnie Barker stars as a disturbed teenager plagued by visions of Ronnie Corbett in a metallic rabbit costume and sure that he will die when something crashes through his bedroom window but unsure whether it will be death by four candles or death by fork handles. Features both Barbara Dickson and Elaine Paige confusingly taking the role of Ronnie's sister interchangeably on a scene by scene basis.
Ronnie Barker stars as a disturbed teenager plagued by visions of Ronnie Corbett in a metallic rabbit costume and sure that he will die when something crashes through his bedroom window but unsure whether it will be death by four candles or death by fork handles. Features both Barbara Dickson and Elaine Paige confusingly taking the role of Ronnie's sister interchangeably on a scene by scene basis.
H
Hetzkes Ballet Teacher
Guest
Comb Raider
SMB user "Texas" races against the clock to recover his favourite personal grooming device.
SMB user "Texas" races against the clock to recover his favourite personal grooming device.
Bob Fleming
Striker
American History X-rated
A bawdy romp through American history from the antics of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower to the previously unseen footage of Barack Obama in Blacks on Blondes.
A bawdy romp through American history from the antics of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower to the previously unseen footage of Barack Obama in Blacks on Blondes.
X-Men Oranges: Wolverine
In a change of pace from the usual action epics, the mutant superhero talks about how he gets his five a day.
In a change of pace from the usual action epics, the mutant superhero talks about how he gets his five a day.
The Naked Gum
Les Nielsen's moving docudrama explores the effect of false teeth loss on a range of people.
Les Nielsen's moving docudrama explores the effect of false teeth loss on a range of people.
Shitman
Video game adaptation about the perfect assassin, caught up in a web of intrigue, who also happens to be made entirely of poo.
Video game adaptation about the perfect assassin, caught up in a web of intrigue, who also happens to be made entirely of poo.
N
not spavin
Guest
V is for Vienetta
Comic noir tale, part funded by the Walls Corporation, in which the eponymous hero battles the Health Nazis and their insidious dentist propaganda machine. Rated 18. Contains sustained threat, sporadic violence, and frankly indefensible claims that 5 Vienetta a day can cure cancer.
Comic noir tale, part funded by the Walls Corporation, in which the eponymous hero battles the Health Nazis and their insidious dentist propaganda machine. Rated 18. Contains sustained threat, sporadic violence, and frankly indefensible claims that 5 Vienetta a day can cure cancer.
Days of Chunder
Watch and laugh as Tom Cruise spends 72 hours hoying his guts up, racked with stomach cramps and crying for his Mam after eating some dodgy prawns.
Watch and laugh as Tom Cruise spends 72 hours hoying his guts up, racked with stomach cramps and crying for his Mam after eating some dodgy prawns.
Ass Canner Darkly
RIchard Linklater's beautifully animated film version of the Philip K. Dick novel about a sinister new tinned meat (and market rival to Spam) called Bum, which is made from human buttocks.
RIchard Linklater's beautifully animated film version of the Philip K. Dick novel about a sinister new tinned meat (and market rival to Spam) called Bum, which is made from human buttocks.
This is so cool, we're onto Philip K Dick!
Minority Retort
A British person of Asian ethic origin explains to Rurkah-Blurk that immigration is actually a good thing if the process is managed properly by the state and so long as the economic and social conditions of the poorest and most vulnerable are not neglected; and the current religious and cultural tensions are just a symptom of poor government handling in recent times. This is such a colossal mindfuck that he goes on the run, undergoes surgery and identity replacement and changes his name to Burkah-Blurk.
Minority Retort
A British person of Asian ethic origin explains to Rurkah-Blurk that immigration is actually a good thing if the process is managed properly by the state and so long as the economic and social conditions of the poorest and most vulnerable are not neglected; and the current religious and cultural tensions are just a symptom of poor government handling in recent times. This is such a colossal mindfuck that he goes on the run, undergoes surgery and identity replacement and changes his name to Burkah-Blurk.
N
not spavin
Guest
Alans
James Cameron's sequel to Ridley Scott's claustrophobic space thriller. A contact from the colonised F-565 planet mysteriously stop, so the Space Marines are dispatched to investigate. What they find is truly horrifying.
ROLL OVER FOR SPOILER: A fuck load of people called Alan, basically.
James Cameron's sequel to Ridley Scott's claustrophobic space thriller. A contact from the colonised F-565 planet mysteriously stop, so the Space Marines are dispatched to investigate. What they find is truly horrifying.
ROLL OVER FOR SPOILER: A fuck load of people called Alan, basically.
The Prince Bride
A royal wedding in the near future... having realised he is living a lie, Edward has divorced Sophie and is betrothed to Graham Norton.
A royal wedding in the near future... having realised he is living a lie, Edward has divorced Sophie and is betrothed to Graham Norton.
H
Hetzkes Ballet Teacher
Guest
Raging Bullshitter
<insert favourite Greedminds story here>
<insert favourite Greedminds story here>
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