Random quotes from TV shows that you like or amuse you....

[Junior Birdman]

Let’s grow ourselves a big lanky goggle eyed freak of a son.

"Alright, calm down mate. There's no need to get offensive."

 

[EchoMan]

“Get back ye bastard. I’ll break your legs”

“Get back ye bastard. I’ll break your legs”

 

[Hammer]

Two things you must know about the wise woman…

Just a wild stab in the dark, which incidentally is what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful.

 

[OLDROKERENDER]

On Springwatch once

Chris Packham: "And now over to Kate for some beaver action"

 

[tunstall birdman]

"Ooooh I'm on me rags, me fanny is like a butchers slab." - Barbara, from A league of Gentlemen.

 

[Sporty]

How you doin'?

What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

You are the weakest link. Goodbye

Am I the only one to do this? When someone asks a question and it's wrong or a no, I reply with "Our Survey says!" followed by the IHH-URRRGH noise

 

[BarrySheensAutograph]

Curse those rockin' tits

 

[squavers]

Jed - "See you next week then, we'll have that pint"

Alan - "Yip"

Jed - "We'll go see my brother"

Alan - "NO WAY YOU BIG SPASTIC, YOU'RE A MENTALIST!!"



From the best episode in comedy history.

 

[BarrySheensAutograph]

They took our jobs

 

[Carley Hill wanderer]

“Sophistication, sophistication”. “ I’ve been to Leeds.”

Now then Mr Magoo
Go get the guitar

That was ‘Big Yellow Taxi’ by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they ‘Paved paradise to put up a parking lot’, a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn’t quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song.

The boys are back in the barracks

 

[JonnotheMackem]

Just a wild stab in the dark, which incidentally is what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful.

“Here is a small purse of moneys, which I am not going to give to you”

 

[Sporty]

If someone talks of yesteryear, they're met with a "During the war" Uncle Albert style

And this bit

 

[Steak Pie]

You said 1172, that's nothing like 'John'.

 

[Biffo The Bear]

Do not lean out of the window. I wonder why?
Daddies got a Porsche

 

[OLDROKERENDER]

Do not lean out of the window. I wonder why?
Daddies got a Porsche

My favourite Young Ones episode

 

[Biffo The Bear]

My favourite Young Ones episode

Me too. Even now I still howl whilst the wife just shakes her head.
Rah rah rah, we’re going to smash the oiks!

 

[tonyfromalnwick]

Two pints, prick

Quality

 

[Cockney Mackem]

Derry Girls has some good uns

"We get the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging"

"You can't ring ChildLine every time your ma threatens to kill you."

"I will ride a French lad, so help me God!"

"You will go far in life Jenny, but you will not be well liked "

"If anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want a chat, please do not come crying to me."

 

[PJH]

"I've got Wonton up my arse"

*man explodes* "You alright?"

 

[RJs shoes]

Naw it doesnae
Naw y' havnae
Naw he didnae
Naw y' don't
Naw it isnae