Random quotes from TV shows that you like or amuse you....

[Copalis]

On Springwatch once

Chris Packham: "And now over to Kate for some beaver action"

Chris has form for this type of caper....

 

[Colbert]

I’d offer you a beer but I’ve only got six cans

 

[Biffo The Bear]

She's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own satanic herd.

 

[Boinger]

I never done it! I only said I done it so they'd take the rat out of my anus!

 

[Qwerty]

Don't they have rats in Spain or did Franco have them all shot?

Forces of anarchy Reggie

 

[puntilla]

Spike Milligan’s weather forecast after the credits rolled up at the end of one of his “Q” shows..cue the old BBC Atlantic chart and Spike dressed as a caretaker complete with cloth cap and broom..

“Here it’s gonna be high…dramatic pause…and here it’s gonna be low!”

 

[tonyfromalnwick]

Naw it doesnae
Naw y' havnae
Naw he didnae
Naw y' don't
Naw it isnae

That is one of the funniest scenes ever

 

[chelt_mackem]

Another one that came to mind that just summed up the perfect comedy timing of Porridge:

Fletch: Home, home on the range, where the deer and the antelope play, where seldom is heard...
McKay: FLETCHER!!!
Fletch: .... a discouraging word. Yes Mr McKay.