Louis Theroux mothers on the edge

Tadger said:
I’m not medically or psychologically qualified in any capacity at all so this is just my opinion, but I think the majority of depression/anxiety issues are a result of exactly what you describe.

High expectations brought on by narcissistic people painting an ideal picture with snapshots of all the good parts of their lives. I think in that respect, we’ve certainly became softer in that regard as a society; people give too much of a shit what other people think.
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My mam had post natal depression with my brother (who was her 4th) and he was born in 1990 so we can't blame social media for that one.
 


Harry Angstrom said:
Now I'm usually in agreement with most of what you say but many of the people in these units are profoundly affected.

I haven't seen the programme yet but have a close relative who works in the field.
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I should have added that post-natal depression isn’t something I’d consider to be caused by mindset and definitely a physical/chemical imbalance. What I described could aggravate it but not cause it.

HellsBells said:
I think it can be exacerbated by some of this, but it is a very real medical condition, not just something that is caused by social media.
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Aye I should have put that in my OP.
 
Arkle said:
Yep. It's worth pointing out that the four (I think) women featured had very different symptoms from depression to full on psychosis, in the case of the Spanish woman.
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Yep, thinking she was the mother of the father certainly isn't just a case of false pressures from social media.
 
Ginger John said:
I hated mother groups. There was too much oneupmanship - oooh can't yours roll over yet? Mines been doing it for two weeks now! Etc.

By the time they start school, they can all walk, talk, go to the toilet etc. Between 0-5, they all hit milestones at different ages. I had one that was walking at 9 months but my daughter didn't even sit up unaided until just before her first birthday. However she could talk in sentences by she was two, but my son barely said a word until he was four. That's just how it works and mothers shouldn't be made to feel bad because their child isn't ticking boxes at the same time as someone else's child.
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Our lass has been on groups like baby centre etc since our first.

To be fair they’ve been helpful in a lot of ways; shared experiences, advice etc but it’s a double edged sword with the kind of thing you mentioned there.
 
Tadger said:
Our lass has been on groups like baby centre etc since our first.

To be fair they’ve been helpful in a lot of ways; shared experiences, advice etc but it’s a double edged sword with the kind of thing you mentioned there.
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There are some out there that are a godsend if you end up having a child who has developmental needs though - especially working through the maze of SEN legislation and interventions and officialdom bullshit to save money.
 
dangermows said:
Yep, thinking she was the mother of the father certainly isn't just a case of false pressures from social media.
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That was it. The father was both the child's dad and the child's brother. From what I could tell, she made the quickest recovery so that seemed to be a more acute case, others were far more long term. The mother struggling with the school run seemed to have gone way beyond issues purely with the children.
 
For the record, if I was a lass nee way I’d be giving birth...I can only imagine it would be like shooting a lemon out my japs eye.

As for the mental health issues, that is awful to see...
 
safcsafc said:
Well said. People seem quick to blame social media for what is a medical condition.
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Nope. They are saying it adds pressure to new parents in general (and can cause them to feel down) not that it causes what is a scientifically recognised disorder.

Motor City Cobra said:
For the record, if I was a lass nee way I’d be giving birth...I can only imagine it would be like shooting a lemon out my japs eye.

As for the mental health issues, that is awful to see...
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Your bellends isn't designed for that marra. Their fanny is.
 
dangermows said:
Nope. They are saying it adds pressure to new parents in general (and can cause them to feel down) not that it causes what is a scientifically recognised disorder.
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You said some of it is brought on by all the bollocks you see and hear On TV and social media and its influence. Another poster said they thought the majority of despression/anxiety is brought on exactly as you described.

That's a bit different to saying it adds pressure to parents which of course it can as can many other contributing factors.
 
dangermows said:
Don't understand parents who want the kids to be grown up ASAP.



Some are yes, specifically on this programme, where some are completely shot. Others though just spoke of fearing not being good enough etc.
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I agree with the growing up ASAP comment ,but what’s more damaging is people who don’t want their kids to grow up and have kids touching 30 still sucking on their mars tit at home .
 
I think this is one of the main reasons I have chose not to have a family.
I don’t think I could cope with the pressure of keeping a little human being alive
I don’t even have pets for this reason
 
Just watching it now. A friend of mine recently went through this, so from.

One of the nurses in the episode is from Sunderland, used to knock about with some of her mates when I was in my teens.
 
Thought it was a pretty fair representation of how it can be when I've sat and watched it through really. Took me a long, long time really to bond with my younger kid because of the total fog of depression - I just went onto autopilot and faked the living crap out of it while I took medication to try to level things out - we got there in the end and have a cracking relationship now though (still on the anti-ds but mainly to help me deal with some of the stuff surrounding the special needs issues and how frustrating it can get dealing with that and school and things like that).

The anxiety element of my problems was definitely fuelled by not so much social media, but social pressure at large - particularly bloody baby feeding... are you breastfeeding? are you baby-led weaning? are you doing all the "right" stuff? Very very insidious if you're a first-time mother particularly - and can get pretty vile in online communities - I remember one charmer telling me I was "ramming food down my poor baby's throat" because various developmental reasons meant we'd had to do puree food (diligently home cooked because I didn't want to "fail" and use a jar) rather than baby-led weaning. I don't think the PND with my second was fed by social media - but the anxiety that came with my first was definitely sparked off by a horrific delivery and some form of PTSD because of that - and completely fuelled by other people being judgemental arses.
 

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