Louis Theroux mothers on the edge



Very sad viewing. Mind some of it is brought by all the bollocks you see and hear On TV and social media. Painting a picture of a perfect birth, where the mother and father instantly have a eutopia moment as the child comes into the world. Then it's all fun, love and laughter from then and all is bliss. So when reality happens and it's not all that some women give themselves a hard time.
 
Very sad viewing. Mind some of it is brought by all the bollocks you see and hear On TV and social media. Painting a picture of a perfect birth, where the mother and father instantly have a eutopia moment as the child comes into the world. Then it's all fun, love and laughter from then and all is bliss. So when reality happens and it's not all that some women give themselves a hard time.

I’m not medically or psychologically qualified in any capacity at all so this is just my opinion, but I think the majority of depression/anxiety issues are a result of exactly what you describe.

High expectations brought on by narcissistic people painting an ideal picture with snapshots of all the good parts of their lives. I think in that respect, we’ve certainly became softer in that regard as a society; people give too much of a shit what other people think.
 
I’m not medically or psychologically qualified in any capacity at all so this is just my opinion, but I think the majority of depression/anxiety issues are a result of exactly what you describe.

High expectations brought on by narcissistic people painting an ideal picture with snapshots of all the good parts of their lives. I think in that respect, we’ve certainly became softer in that regard as a society; people give too much of a shit what other people think.
Aye. Me missus had Mams in her mothers group putting up pics of the kids all the time and happy posts on FB for all the world to see how great things are. But then would be crying to her that they can't cope.
We've placed ridiculous expectations on ourselves.
 
Seeing this with my goddaughter.

Zero connection between mother and child because of the depression. Hence we have the wee one here almost every weekend.

Its heartbreaking she doesnt want to even speak to her man when shes here. Never asks for her mam or dad. If we facetime them, she will speak to dad. If mam comes on shes not having it. No interest
 
I’m not medically or psychologically qualified in any capacity at all so this is just my opinion, but I think the majority of depression/anxiety issues are a result of exactly what you describe.

High expectations brought on by narcissistic people painting an ideal picture with snapshots of all the good parts of their lives. I think in that respect, we’ve certainly became softer in that regard as a society; people give too much of a shit what other people think.
I somewhat agree with this. Some of my lowest moments have come about when I know I should be at my happiest.
 
I’m not medically or psychologically qualified in any capacity at all so this is just my opinion, but I think the majority of depression/anxiety issues are a result of exactly what you describe.

High expectations brought on by narcissistic people painting an ideal picture with snapshots of all the good parts of their lives. I think in that respect, we’ve certainly became softer in that regard as a society; people give too much of a shit what other people think.
Now I'm usually in agreement with most of what you say but many of the people in these units are profoundly affected.

I haven't seen the programme yet but have a close relative who works in the field.
 
Aye. Me missus had Mams in her mothers group putting up pics of the kids all the time and happy posts on FB for all the world to see how great things are. But then would be crying to her that they can't cope.
We've placed ridiculous expectations on ourselves.

I hated mother groups. There was too much oneupmanship - oooh can't yours roll over yet? Mines been doing it for two weeks now! Etc.

By the time they start school, they can all walk, talk, go to the toilet etc. Between 0-5, they all hit milestones at different ages. I had one that was walking at 9 months but my daughter didn't even sit up unaided until just before her first birthday. However she could talk in sentences by she was two, but my son barely said a word until he was four. That's just how it works and mothers shouldn't be made to feel bad because their child isn't ticking boxes at the same time as someone else's child.
 
I hated mother groups. There was too much oneupmanship - oooh can't yours roll over yet? Mines been doing it for two weeks now! Etc.

By the time they start school, they can all walk, talk, go to the toilet etc. Between 0-5, they all hit milestones at different ages. I had one that was walking at 9 months but my daughter didn't even sit up unaided until just before her first birthday. However she could talk in sentences by she was two, but my son barely said a word until he was four. That's just how it works and mothers shouldn't be made to feel bad because their child isn't ticking boxes at the same time as someone else's child.

saw a documentary about this.

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I hated mother groups. There was too much oneupmanship - oooh can't yours roll over yet? Mines been doing it for two weeks now! Etc.

By the time they start school, they can all walk, talk, go to the toilet etc. Between 0-5, they all hit milestones at different ages. I had one that was walking at 9 months but my daughter didn't even sit up unaided until just before her first birthday. However she could talk in sentences by she was two, but my son barely said a word until he was four. That's just how it works and mothers shouldn't be made to feel bad because their child isn't ticking boxes at the same time as someone else's child.
Aye have seen plenty of that. It's hard with the 1st as you are wondering what you're doing wrong. But you work out it's all bollocks soon enough.

Attempting to toilet train number 2 at the moment. Number 1 did it way younger than this one. But she's really not ready for it. Happily playing away with piss or shit all over. Sod it we'll give her longer. No big deal.
 
I’m not medically or psychologically qualified in any capacity at all so this is just my opinion, but I think the majority of depression/anxiety issues are a result of exactly what you describe.

High expectations brought on by narcissistic people painting an ideal picture with snapshots of all the good parts of their lives. I think in that respect, we’ve certainly became softer in that regard as a society; people give too much of a shit what other people think.
I think it can be exacerbated by some of this, but it is a very real medical condition, not just something that is caused by social media.
 
Now I'm usually in agreement with most of what you say but many of the people in these units are profoundly affected.

I haven't seen the programme yet but have a close relative who works in the field.

Haven't seen the programme yet but I was really really badly affected by both post-natal depression with one child, and post-natal anxiety with the other... but compared to a lot of women I got off lightly. I used to go to a support group and lots of the women there had been in-patients in another mother and baby unit (sadly we didn't get Louis around our neck of the woods) and it was way way way beyond the realms of the normal level of worry and stress keeping a small helpless person alive is likely to induce. One was actually a psychiatrist herself who suffered from post-partum psychosis and had just about enough insight that things were seriously wrong that she walked into A+E and told them they needed to section her in the end (now fully recovered and back working as far as I know)... others who've had ECT (electric shock) because their PND has been so cripplingly bad (now working as a counsellor helping others with mental health problems and actually the pair of women who set up the support group).

I've had depression all of my life off and on - but the post-natal stuff was absolutely in another league altogether - I pretty much couldn't function as a human being for months and months - remember walking out of the house one evening, leaving the baby with my husband and planning where I was going to go into the woods to end it all. Unfortunately/fortunately we only had one car at the time and the "mother" part of me had thought "must leave the car keys so he can have the baby seat" and I had no bloody way to get there so I just sat on the street a few roads away and cried and stared into space for hours before I wandered home.
 
Don't understand parents who want the kids to be grown up ASAP.

Now I'm usually in agreement with most of what you say but many of the people in these units are profoundly affected.

I haven't seen the programme yet but have a close relative who works in the field.

Some are yes, specifically on this programme, where some are completely shot. Others though just spoke of fearing not being good enough etc.
 
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Haven't seen the programme yet but I was really really badly affected by both post-natal depression with one child, and post-natal anxiety with the other... but compared to a lot of women I got off lightly. I used to go to a support group and lots of the women there had been in-patients in another mother and baby unit (sadly we didn't get Louis around our neck of the woods) and it was way way way beyond the realms of the normal level of worry and stress keeping a small helpless person alive is likely to induce. One was actually a psychiatrist herself who suffered from post-partum psychosis and had just about enough insight that things were seriously wrong that she walked into A+E and told them they needed to section her in the end (now fully recovered and back working as far as I know)... others who've had ECT (electric shock) because their PND has been so cripplingly bad (now working as a counsellor helping others with mental health problems and actually the pair of women who set up the support group).

I've had depression all of my life off and on - but the post-natal stuff was absolutely in another league altogether - I pretty much couldn't function as a human being for months and months - remember walking out of the house one evening, leaving the baby with my husband and planning where I was going to go into the woods to end it all. Unfortunately/fortunately we only had one car at the time and the "mother" part of me had thought "must leave the car keys so he can have the baby seat" and I had no bloody way to get there so I just sat on the street a few roads away and cried and stared into space for hours before I wandered home.
Your story is much closer to my relative's experience.
 

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