• The forum upgrades are now largely complete.
    Please read this thread for more details.
    New user registrations are currently disabled.

Depression

Status
Not open for further replies.
de Ruyter said:
Not sure if this is appropriate to wonder

When you say 'mental health therapist'

Do you think she was a mental health practitioner (qualified and registered nurse or social worker)

Or a therapist like a counsellor or some other private type?

I wondered if there's a difference in qualification, experience, background etc
Click to expand...
Therein you may have a point. I had to tell her about ASD.

I know she'd done some studies after starting as an estate agent then doing a career switch.

She may well be the kind that listens to people unburden themselves rather than actually having a knowledge of things like neurodiversity.

One thing I told her is trust in a partner is a big deal to me. Her behaviour on the underground seemed to show little understanding of ASD and thus, ability to trust her. Again, perhaps, just as well nothing happened from a romance point of view after all.
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
These meltdowns you're describing sound very much like what I do. I've always had them but since things have went wrong in my relationship I seem to be having one every other day. I know before I say something that I am going to regret saying it but I'm unable to stop myself. I could be completely misunderstanding what you mean by meltdown though.
Click to expand...
As said, the full-on meltdowns are rare with me as I've inadvertently put my own coping strategies in place.

Basically, I withdraw and regroup.

I describe a proper meltdown as sort of knowing a stress event has caused you to fall apart. You're sort of looking in on yourself with one part of your brain all over the place and behaving irrational. Another part is saying what you should be doing, but is unable to engage properly until the meltdown event has ran its course or so.eone on the outside has calmed you down. It's scary when you're in that phase.

That Sunday, there was no-one to bring me down. So I guess I just had to walk around Hyde Park until whatever neurons in my brain stopped firing and the rational part was able to regain control.

I'd describe it a different to just losing your temper as you whole being reacts in loss of temper in a fight or flight response.

I hope that makes sense.
 
Last edited:

Suspender Sue said:
Therein you may have a point. I had to tell her about ASD.

I know she'd done some studies after starting as an estate agent then doing a career switch.

She may well be the kind that listens to people unburden themselves rather than actually having a knowledge of things like neurodiversity.

One thing I told her is trust in a partner is a big deal to me. Her behaviour on the underground seemed to show little understanding of ASD and thus, ability to trust her. Again, perhaps, just as well nothing happened from a romance point of view after all.

As said, the full-on meltdowns are rare with me as I've inadvertently put my own coping strategies in place.

Basically, I withdraw and regroup.

I describe a proper meltdown as sort of knowing a stress event has caused you to fall apart. You're sort of looking in on yourself with one part of your brain all over the place and behaving irrational. Another part is saying what you should be doing, but is unable to engage properly until the meltdown event has ran its course or so.eone on the outside has calmed you down. It's scary when you're in that phase.

That Sunday, there was no-one to bring me down. So I guess I just had to walk around Hyde Park until whatever neurons in my brain stopped firing and the rational part was able to regain control.

I'd describe it a different to just losing your temper as you whole being reacts in loss of temper in a fight or flight response.

I hope that makes sense.
Click to expand...
Yeah it does. Thanks for explaining marra. Hope you're able to get back on track.
 
I tend to not share much but being a sarcastic arsehole and coping through humour isn’t really cutting it atm and I’m probably at my lowest point in over a year.

It feels like all the work I’ve done for over 2 years has been a waste of time, I’m not someone who opens up and talks to people so being honest in saying that one of the worst things I ever did was be open about my mental health issues.
The longer it’s gone on, the less people seem to give a toss if I’m honest, they do this whole ‘I’m here if you need to talk’ shite but the reality is you’re dealing with this alone.

Socially I’m an absolute car crash of a human being and there’s times I’m out with ‘mates’ and I look around and just think how am I in this situation, how do people want to be around me.
I’m very withdrawn and reserved at the best of times but over the past few months it feel like if I’m not making the effort, then it’s not being returned, which I can deal with if it’s one person but it’s the entire friend group that feels like that, I’ve reached out and being ignored at times, I’ve been told that I don’t make enough effort to integrate, it feels true.

I just don’t have that social ability to engage people, I just don’t feel equipped for it and the larger that my group of friends has gotten, the less I feel I belong and doubt what it is I offer, the more i feel out of my depth.

There’s times where my mates go out amongst themselves and have ‘spontaneous’ as they call it days out or doing something which they say I’m more than welcome to come along to, but its kind of redundant when I find out later on because they keep it quiet.
It doesn’t do much to make me feel like I do fit in.
The only person I ever spoke to about my problems barely speaks to me and I’m tired of trying to engage to be either ignored or responded to in one or two word replies, I kind of knew it would always happen and it just makes me want to close up emotionally but at the same time I blame myself because I put a lot on that person and I don’t think they could deal with it in the end.
I speak to one of the lads daily and aside from him the last time anyone else of the even spoke to me was two days before the last away game of the season.
I feel isolated and lonely tbh, I don’t have the energy to chase for friends and being brutally blunt, if you have to run around and remind people of your presence, then your presence never really mattered to them anyway.

I’m having a pretty torrid time as late, broken a small bone in my foot, been laid up Ill with a viral infection and just feel useless.
I’ve been trying to keep going but I’m finding myself questioning why I’m bothering a lot more, not outright suicidal thoughts but it’s not exactly a huge leap toward that kind of thinking.

Honestly circling the drain, exercise and going to the gym hasn’t helped much, usually I can focus on work to get on with it but even that’s a struggle at the moment.

I need to seek help again but my experience of the wellness team was that I was raced through and signed off at the first sign of any kind of positive change, speaking to Drs is a waste of time too as they have a very narrow minded one size fits all attitude toward MH.

I just feel lost really and I don’t know what more I can do I haven’t already.
 
Last edited:
Gentwo said:
I tend to not share much but being a sarcastic arsehole and coping through humour isn’t really cutting it atm and I’m probably at my lowest point in over a year.

It feels like all the work I’ve done for over 2 years has been a waste of time, I’m not someone who opens up and talks to people so being honest in saying that one of the worst things I ever did was be open about my mental health issues.
The longer it’s gone on, the less people seem to give a toss if I’m honest, they do this whole ‘I’m here if you need to talk’ shite but the reality is you’re dealing with this alone.

Socially I’m an absolute car crash of a human being and there’s times I’m out with ‘mates’ and I look around and just think how am I in this situation, how do people want to be around me.
I’m very withdrawn and reserved at the best of times but over the past few months it feel like if I’m not making the effort, then it’s not being returned, which I can deal with if it’s one person but it’s the entire friend group that feels like that, I’ve reached out and being ignored at times, I’ve been told that I don’t make enough effort to integrate, it feels true.

I just don’t have that social ability to engage people, I just don’t feel equipped for it and the larger that my group of friends has gotten, the less I feel I belong and doubt what it is I offer, the more i feel out of my depth.

There’s times where my mates go out amongst themselves and have ‘spontaneous’ as they call it days out or doing something which they say I’m more than welcome to come along to, but its kind of redundant when I find out later on because they keep it quiet.
It doesn’t do much to make me feel like I do fit in.
The only person I ever spoke to about my problems barely speaks to me and I’m tired of trying to engage to be either ignored or responded to in one or two word replies, I kind of knew it would always happen and it just makes me want to close up emotionally but at the same time I blame myself because I put a lot on that person and I don’t think they could deal with it in the end.
I speak to one of the lads daily and aside from him the last time anyone else of the even spoke to me was two days before the last away game of the season.
I feel isolated and lonely tbh, I don’t have the energy to chase for friends and being brutally blunt, if you have to run around and remind people of your presence, then your presence never really mattered to them anyway.

I’m having a pretty torrid time as late, broken a small bone in my foot, been laid up Ill with a viral infection and just feel useless.
I’ve been trying to keep going but I’m finding myself questioning why I’m bothering a lot more, not outright suicidal thoughts but it’s not exactly a huge leap toward that kind of thinking.

Honestly circling the drain, exercise and going to the gym hasn’t helped much, usually I can focus on work to get on with it but even that’s a struggle at the moment.

I need to seek help again but my experience of the wellness team was that I was raced through and signed off at the first sign of any kind of positive change, speaking to Drs is a waste of time too as they have a very narrow minded one size fits all attitude toward MH.

I just feel lost really and I don’t know what more I can do I haven’t already.
Click to expand...
I didn't quite know how to respond to your post. So I maybe gave it some thought

I could type out how my life and situation and feelings very much mirror what you've described

But almost everything you've said is me just now.

Isolated, lonely, feel like I've exhausted help options and a feeling of inevitability that it's going to get worse yet and then what do I do

Would hate to make you feel worse but guess am just saying there is no way you're the only one feeling this way
 
Suspender Sue said:
Therein you may have a point. I had to tell her about ASD.

I know she'd done some studies after starting as an estate agent then doing a career switch.

She may well be the kind that listens to people unburden themselves rather than actually having a knowledge of things like neurodiversity.

One thing I told her is trust in a partner is a big deal to me. Her behaviour on the underground seemed to show little understanding of ASD and thus, ability to trust her. Again, perhaps, just as well nothing happened from a romance point of view after all.
Click to expand...
I forgot an important point as regards SMB etiquette.

She was a serious WAD. 😍

But that business on the underground means that was most likely the end of it.
 
Last edited:
Gentwo said:
I feel isolated and lonely tbh, I don’t have the energy to chase for friends and being brutally blunt, if you have to run around and remind people of your presence, then your presence never really mattered to them anyway.
Click to expand...

Can relate. Sounds like you've got a number of superficial friends which would be good to have if they were bolstered by closer pals you could confide in.

When all you have is casual pals that don't click with you 100%, it makes you feel like you're bothering them, which you probably are. It can make you feel worthless and rejected; when all it is you both don't connect. But because, like me, you're down on yourself, you just pull yourself to bits over it.

Let lukewarm people fade out of focus in the background. It's not their fault and it's not yours either.
 
Last edited:
Gentwo said:
I tend to not share much but being a sarcastic arsehole and coping through humour isn’t really cutting it atm and I’m probably at my lowest point in over a year.

It feels like all the work I’ve done for over 2 years has been a waste of time, I’m not someone who opens up and talks to people so being honest in saying that one of the worst things I ever did was be open about my mental health issues.
The longer it’s gone on, the less people seem to give a toss if I’m honest, they do this whole ‘I’m here if you need to talk’ shite but the reality is you’re dealing with this alone.

Socially I’m an absolute car crash of a human being and there’s times I’m out with ‘mates’ and I look around and just think how am I in this situation, how do people want to be around me.
I’m very withdrawn and reserved at the best of times but over the past few months it feel like if I’m not making the effort, then it’s not being returned, which I can deal with if it’s one person but it’s the entire friend group that feels like that, I’ve reached out and being ignored at times, I’ve been told that I don’t make enough effort to integrate, it feels true.

I just don’t have that social ability to engage people, I just don’t feel equipped for it and the larger that my group of friends has gotten, the less I feel I belong and doubt what it is I offer, the more i feel out of my depth.

There’s times where my mates go out amongst themselves and have ‘spontaneous’ as they call it days out or doing something which they say I’m more than welcome to come along to, but its kind of redundant when I find out later on because they keep it quiet.
It doesn’t do much to make me feel like I do fit in.
The only person I ever spoke to about my problems barely speaks to me and I’m tired of trying to engage to be either ignored or responded to in one or two word replies, I kind of knew it would always happen and it just makes me want to close up emotionally but at the same time I blame myself because I put a lot on that person and I don’t think they could deal with it in the end.
I speak to one of the lads daily and aside from him the last time anyone else of the even spoke to me was two days before the last away game of the season.
I feel isolated and lonely tbh, I don’t have the energy to chase for friends and being brutally blunt, if you have to run around and remind people of your presence, then your presence never really mattered to them anyway.

I’m having a pretty torrid time as late, broken a small bone in my foot, been laid up Ill with a viral infection and just feel useless.
I’ve been trying to keep going but I’m finding myself questioning why I’m bothering a lot more, not outright suicidal thoughts but it’s not exactly a huge leap toward that kind of thinking.

Honestly circling the drain, exercise and going to the gym hasn’t helped much, usually I can focus on work to get on with it but even that’s a struggle at the moment.

I need to seek help again but my experience of the wellness team was that I was raced through and signed off at the first sign of any kind of positive change, speaking to Drs is a waste of time too as they have a very narrow minded one size fits all attitude toward MH.

I just feel lost really and I don’t know what more I can do I haven’t already.
Click to expand...
Sound like you think your not worthy or as good as the next person. We are all equal in this world and you want to make sure you tell yourself this. The person who gets the better of you is yourself. Like I always believe, there's only yourself that can get the better of you. Think confidently and you will be and life will improve. Remember you can always help yourself.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
Its awful at the moment. Spend the whole working week looking forward to the weekend then the weekend comes and it's horrible so I'm counting down the hours to go back to work to stay busy. Its no life this. 😔 I'm just fed up no matter what I try to do.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear that like

I feel a bit useless on this thread as of late am probably in a similar situation to some of you and am not very good on positive vibes (some folk on here are really class at stuff on these things)

So 7 days a week is shit and things haven't improved at home? That's not sustainable. But you know that
I should clarify that last comment (I worry I'll make people feel worse)

I mean like give yourself a break and it's understandable from the little bits I've seen you say
 
Last edited:
de Ruyter said:
Sorry to hear that like

I feel a bit useless on this thread as of late am probably in a similar situation to some of you and am not very good on positive vibes (some folk on here are really class at stuff on these things)

So 7 days a week is shit and things haven't improved at home? That's not sustainable. But you know that
I should clarify that last comment (I worry I'll make people feel worse)

I mean like give yourself a break and it's understandable from the little bits I've seen you say
Click to expand...
de Ruyter said:
Sorry to hear that like

I feel a bit useless on this thread as of late am probably in a similar situation to some of you and am not very good on positive vibes (some folk on here are really class at stuff on these things)

So 7 days a week is shit and things haven't improved at home? That's not sustainable. But you know that
I should clarify that last comment (I worry I'll make people feel worse)

I mean like give yourself a break and it's understandable from the little bits I've seen you say
Click to expand...
Stay strong marra. I honestly don't know what I can do now.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top