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Depression
- Thread starter Maravilla
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look out piano
Striker
I do a really sterling job of appearing fine and dandy these days.
ChrisAshley
Striker
Nah don't have anything to lose nothing to keep me here literally don't even have any close friends round here that I'd be bothered about. Problem is I don't have anything that interests me so thinking of anything that I can do in my spare time is hard, other than sitting by myself listening to music and posting shite on here.
Something happened lately that despite it being just a little daft (was on a course, this lass came in with her friend and laughed at me) just makes me think that all the shit that was already keep running around in my head is only gonna build up and that things aren't gonna change, lasses aren't all of a sudden gonna think i'm not laughable/freak/ugly whatever, and somehow think i'm attractive so what's the point, got nothing else going for me either. Anyone that can easily socialise and attract lasses don't know how lucky they have it, I'd give anything to be 'normal'!
yorkyexile
Striker
Then play on it.Some of us laughable ugly little freaks do ok with birds that way
Gerrin redrobbo63 is back!!!
Tman87
Winger
Been struggling a bit recently again myself, mainly anxiety/stress/self-esteem issues. Not doing too great on the newish job and not been able to turn to the folk I usually can when I need a bit of a lift, friends/family etc as the shifts I'm always usually on are against the times they are free. Been doing alot of walking/gyming in my spare time which helps a bit but alot of time feel like I'm just grinding through days without much motivation. Not looking for a helping hand as such with this but just to put something down on a page, find it easier doing than express my troubles face to face with people at the best of times.
ChrisAshley
Striker
I don't have good crack to make up for it! Tbh I wish I could just find a way not to care about having a girlfriend, I think I'd only get annoyed by having one anyway. I think it's just because I think it'll take all the problems that I have with myself away, but doubt it would be that easy.Then play on it.Some of us laughable ugly little freaks do ok with birds that way
yorkyexile
Striker
Despite the wise cracks its not that easy. Took me years to learn to relax enough round people to be able to laugh at meself and when im struggling its usually the first bit of me that goes and io end up back in me shell
D
Deleted member 5265
Guest
I don't think you realise what a fantastic thing it is to be that honest about a fundamental human need/desire that we all feel. A lot of people who were going though those feelings would hide them behind a false shell of pretendy I-don't-care toughness. You don't and that's a tremendous thing. I'm afraid I've no easy answers for you pet except to say (as ever) get to your GP, ask for some counselling, and talk it all out, and try to show a little tenderness to yourself.
Rizla
Striker
I was in a difficult place towards the end of last year, got myself really anxious about a number of things. I couldn't sleep, couldn't think about anything else. To be honest I was struggling to see any way out of it. In 38 years it was easily the worst part of my life.
I went to the GP who suggested talking therapy and also prescribed some sertraline. I took them for 5 days and they made me feel worse - complete insomnia and to be honest it felt like I'd taken a dodgy ecstasy tablet from back in the day. I know with ADs things can get worse before they get better, but I couldn't take them for another day, so stopped and felt rough as hell for a few days whilst I struggled for other options.
I went to see a counsellor who suggested mindfulness which I'd never heard of before and sounded like a bit mumbo jumbo when she described it. But, I'd run out of options, so I bought a couple of books from Amazon and have been following the daily practices. I've attended a course aswell, and after a few months I've noticed a massive difference in myself and so have others.
I can now see my thoughts as mental events, propaganda which isn't the true reality of the present moment. Thoughts that would give me sleepless nights, I am now able to allow to pass through my head without getting caught up in them.
It takes practice and time, but it's helped me massively and I would recommend it to anyone who is caught up in depression or anxiety and is looking for another way. The NHS and health profession are just beginning to realise the potential of mindfulness and it will be something we hear more and more about I believe.
I went to the GP who suggested talking therapy and also prescribed some sertraline. I took them for 5 days and they made me feel worse - complete insomnia and to be honest it felt like I'd taken a dodgy ecstasy tablet from back in the day. I know with ADs things can get worse before they get better, but I couldn't take them for another day, so stopped and felt rough as hell for a few days whilst I struggled for other options.
I went to see a counsellor who suggested mindfulness which I'd never heard of before and sounded like a bit mumbo jumbo when she described it. But, I'd run out of options, so I bought a couple of books from Amazon and have been following the daily practices. I've attended a course aswell, and after a few months I've noticed a massive difference in myself and so have others.
I can now see my thoughts as mental events, propaganda which isn't the true reality of the present moment. Thoughts that would give me sleepless nights, I am now able to allow to pass through my head without getting caught up in them.
It takes practice and time, but it's helped me massively and I would recommend it to anyone who is caught up in depression or anxiety and is looking for another way. The NHS and health profession are just beginning to realise the potential of mindfulness and it will be something we hear more and more about I believe.
B
becs
Guest
[QUOTE="Rizla, post: 19881013, member: 2509"
I went to see a counsellor who suggested mindfulness which I'd never heard of before and sounded like a bit mumbo jumbo when she described it. But, I'd run out of options, so I bought a couple of books from Amazon and have been following the daily practices. I've attended a course aswell, and after a few months I've noticed a massive difference in myself and so have others.
[/QUOTE]
What books did you buy? I might have a look at them.
Was talking to a friend earlier and said I've been making a special effort to recognise happy things or things I'm proud of. Too often lately I've let that wash by and wallow on the crap things that are happening. Was pleased with a bit of DIY work I did over the weekend and happy this morning because the bairn was excited about her costume for World Book Day at school and I enjoyed seeing all the other bairns all dressed up. Little things, probably insignificant to most others but they're positive things for me.
I went to see a counsellor who suggested mindfulness which I'd never heard of before and sounded like a bit mumbo jumbo when she described it. But, I'd run out of options, so I bought a couple of books from Amazon and have been following the daily practices. I've attended a course aswell, and after a few months I've noticed a massive difference in myself and so have others.
[/QUOTE]
What books did you buy? I might have a look at them.
Was talking to a friend earlier and said I've been making a special effort to recognise happy things or things I'm proud of. Too often lately I've let that wash by and wallow on the crap things that are happening. Was pleased with a bit of DIY work I did over the weekend and happy this morning because the bairn was excited about her costume for World Book Day at school and I enjoyed seeing all the other bairns all dressed up. Little things, probably insignificant to most others but they're positive things for me.
D
Deleted member 5265
Guest
I can't recommend this one enough:
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If you buy it, buy the eBook version as it contains audio files guiding you through the meditations.And yes, you must focus on the positive things about being the amazing person that is you, and give yourself a cuddle for being so fabulous.
yorkyexile
Striker
What books did you buy? I might have a look at them.
Was talking to a friend earlier and said I've been making a special effort to recognise happy things or things I'm proud of. Too often lately I've let that wash by and wallow on the crap things that are happening. Was pleased with a bit of DIY work I did over the weekend and happy this morning because the bairn was excited about her costume for World Book Day at school and I enjoyed seeing all the other bairns all dressed up. Little things, probably insignificant to most others but they're positive things for me.[/QUOTE]
Little goals is what they always reckon to get you going again Becs. Little goals at first then build yerself back up to normal
Go gay?
P
Pij
Guest
I have CPTSD, if that weren't shite enough I also have aspergers, so trust me when I say I've been in your shoes. Days so bad I can't get out of bed, full on panic attacks if I go out; the list is endless. Have you spoken with your doctor about this? I know it can be daunting, but if you haven't do try to, you'd be surprised the difference meds can make. You might not feel like running through a meadow in a floaty chiffon dress but they can at least make it more bearable. There are different types of meds, if whatever you're given doesn't improve your mood you may need a different type, or mood stabilisers. Stick with it, it'll be worth it.
What also helps me is meditation - unlike the stereotype you don't have to sit up cross legged, fingers pinched and chanting 'ohhhm', nor do you have to 'empty your mind', it's simply a thought re-focusing technique to let go of unpleasant thoughts and feelings and re-focus them on healthier ones. I have a fantastic guided CD somewhere if you want to know more?
What also helps me is meditation - unlike the stereotype you don't have to sit up cross legged, fingers pinched and chanting 'ohhhm', nor do you have to 'empty your mind', it's simply a thought re-focusing technique to let go of unpleasant thoughts and feelings and re-focus them on healthier ones. I have a fantastic guided CD somewhere if you want to know more?
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Rizla
Striker
That is the book I got, it is a best seller, really popular. As Janie mentions, it has audio files - the paper copy comes with a CD. The concept takes a bit to get your head around and you do need some undisturbed time and patience to practice the meditations every day, but it has really helped me see things differently.
Mindfulness is kind of like this, teaches you to accept your thoughts, not push against them, then allow them to pass whilst you refocus on the here and now.
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ChrisAshley
Striker
If i was gay I probably wouldn't have this problem of lonliness, for some bizarre reason I'm seemingly attractive to gay lads!
P
Pij
Guest
I think of mindfullness as meditation re-branded.
H
heskey to success
Guest
Well I like you mate. Your one of my favourite posters, you have good craic to me.
Times can be shit but things get better and things do turnaround. I used to be a recluse about 5/6 years ago. Used to just watch tv and eat takeaways when I finished work. Then I started to stick in at the gym and met a proper wad at work in 2011, it fuelled me more for the gym and my confidence skyrocketed. We ended after 6 months but after break up I realised there were loads of lasses to buck and I had loads of new mates through playing sports I hadn't played in years. However in last few years I have had few relationships, some really shit ones too and its not all its cracked up to be, but I do remember the person I was 5 years ago would give his right bollock for what I have/had in last few years.
Set yourself little goals whatever they maybe and good luck mate.
T
The Spezial One
Guest
Cracking post marra. Can't recommend exercise of any sort enough @ChrisAshley mate. Transformation doesn't happen overnight but your self confidence will sky rocket and better things will come of that.
Instead of running away from your problems try something as simple as this first. Put it this way mate, the next 6 months are going to go past anyway, you can either choose to spend them sitting around overthinking and putting yourself in a bad place or you can dedicate it to this and see where you end up. What's to lose here, it's win-win?
Make a promise to yourself that you will go to the gym 3-4 times a week, get on the D&E forum for any tips, questions you might have and track your progress. Write down how you feel after sessions, set little weekly targets or goals to achieve and write down how you feel when you hit them. Diarise all this so you can look back on it and then do something like take a photo now and then one in 6 months to see how far you've gone and how much you've achieved.
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