• The first stage of the forum upgrades has now been completed but they remain in a degraded state and are still being worked on. Normal posting/reading should now be possible.
    Please read this thread for more details.
    New user registrations are currently disabled.

Depression

Status
Not open for further replies.
I didn't want to start a new thread either, but I really hope you are ok @Maravila.

I've pretty much had depression to varying degrees since my teens, I was awkward and gangly and spotty so I got bullied pretty constant then shortly after leaving school my mam died. Which seemed to trigger it all off.

I think the reason I get depressed is I expect too much of myself ( I see myself as pretty smart) and always seem to come up short. I've fucked a lot of good things up through this disease a good career, several relationships and lost lots of friends, and the cycle seems to repeat itself.

For the last two years the triggers been overwhelming feelings of failure. Feeling like a disappointment to my loved ones. I'm working but its in a call centre and I hate the person I am in there.

My girlfriend is brilliant supportive and encouraging, but I don't know if this is my lot, am I as smart as I think I am, I'm 33 I've no idea what I want to do, if all my stresshead brain can cope with is callcentres I may as well throw in the towel the fight is done.
 

Not seeking attention but for anyone suffering give my post a quick read, it may be of some use:

http://readytogo.net/smb/threads/depression.784034/

It never really has gone for me, but you learn how to control it and therefore you can enjoy life. Yes, there are still bad days here and there bit like anyone really but nothing near the terrible things that were occurring when I was at my worst. Remember someone saying, your at a train station and the train that comes along has depression on the front. You've just got to wave it on and wait for the next one. To use the analogy, those trains still come for me and I think about getting on here and there but I'm strong enough to resist it now.

There's always hope people, you just have to hang on in there until the right thing clicks. :)
 
Lurchio said:
I didn't want to start a new thread either, but I really hope you are ok @Maravila.

I've pretty much had depression to varying degrees since my teens, I was awkward and gangly and spotty so I got bullied pretty constant then shortly after leaving school my mam died. Which seemed to trigger it all off.

I think the reason I get depressed is I expect too much of myself ( I see myself as pretty smart) and always seem to come up short. I've fucked a lot of good things up through this disease a good career, several relationships and lost lots of friends, and the cycle seems to repeat itself.

For the last two years the triggers been overwhelming feelings of failure. Feeling like a disappointment to my loved ones. I'm working but its in a call centre and I hate the person I am in there.

My girlfriend is brilliant supportive and encouraging, but I don't know if this is my lot, am I as smart as I think I am, I'm 33 I've no idea what I want to do, if all my stresshead brain can cope with is callcentres I may as well throw in the towel the fight is done.
Click to expand...

Be a little kinder to yourself mate. I bet you don't come up short, and I bet you're not a failure. Your girlfriend certainly doesn't seem to think so.

Have you ever spoken to a counsellor about your mam? The feelings from bereavement are about the most powerful we'll ever experience, and many people find they can't untangle them and find peace with them without a little professional help.
 
Exercise is good but it might be better joining a class rather than going to the gym on your own. You might meet some new friends who don't always meet at the pub. Alcohol is awful when coupled with depression.
 
smoker said:
Scary thing is it is one of the most prescribed drugs on the market, prescribed for nerve pain, bed wetting, prostatitis, fybromyalgia, cystitis, migraines, you name it if you've got a problem that doesn't have an easy answer, take some Elavil or Amitriptyline and come back in a month.
Click to expand...

This is true.

Normally I see amitriptyline given for two reasons: neuropathic pain or sleeplessness. However it has a multitude of uses. Veritable wonderdrug.

Could do with some now to fix my f***ing sleeping pattern :lol:
 
Frijj said:
This is true.

Normally I see amitriptyline given for two reasons: neuropathic pain or sleeplessness. However it has a multitude of uses. Veritable wonderdrug.

Could do with some now to fix my f***ing sleeping pattern :lol:
Click to expand...

I've got stacks of the bastards. :idea::idea:

Those are the two clear benefits I experienced. Suffering from insomnia again since I packed them in. I

I do question whether masking neuropathic pain is always that sensible. Surely you are in pain because your body is warning you something is wrong? If you keep doing the same old things that gave you pain in the first place, then the damaged tissue is never going to repair and you will be in the same or greater pain when you come off them again?

On the other hand you aren't bothering the doctor while you're taking them...
 
smoker said:
I've got stacks of the bastards. :idea::idea:

Those are the two clear benefits I experienced. Suffering from insomnia again since I packed them in. I

I do question whether masking neuropathic pain is always that sensible. Surely you are in pain because your body is warning you something is wrong? If you keep doing the same old things that gave you pain in the first place, then the damaged tissue is never going to repair and you will be in the same or greater pain when you come off them again?

On the other hand you aren't bothering the doctor while you're taking them...
Click to expand...
Pain is pretty complex and the bit I've bolded isn't always true. Even in cases where it is, there is no reason for somebody to be in pain when there is pain relief available, provided something is being done to treat the underlying issue e.g. in diabetic neuropathy.
 
I once read that stress is created when the gap between expectation and reality is large and prolonged over time, so what Lurchio said seems to reasonate.

Don't understand depression. Perhaps I overestimate human ability to master oneself. Is it chemical?
 
I was depressed last year, well thought I was until I felt how I feel right now - last year was mild in comparison.

Ive destroyed my relationship, going to lose my house (I have with the now ex) - Im hoping I can still crack on at work as its all I have.

Im on medication and in the care of a specialist team. I know Im having issues when this should be the most excited Ive ever been as a Sunderland fan and I just dont give a shit.

Awful and on this occasion I also have physical pain (nervous stomach, tight chest) I just really despise waking up. I know thats selfish as we've lost fantastic members of this board too soon who didnt want to go. But, its just how I feel.
 
Oba said:
Is it chemical?
Click to expand...

Ive been told by the people who are looking after me that you get a reactive depression (loss of a loved one etc) or biological, where its just in you whether it be genes or way you were brought up.
 
Lurchio said:
I didn't want to start a new thread either, but I really hope you are ok @Maravila.

I've pretty much had depression to varying degrees since my teens, I was awkward and gangly and spotty so I got bullied pretty constant then shortly after leaving school my mam died. Which seemed to trigger it all off.

I think the reason I get depressed is I expect too much of myself ( I see myself as pretty smart) and always seem to come up short. I've fucked a lot of good things up through this disease a good career, several relationships and lost lots of friends, and the cycle seems to repeat itself.

For the last two years the triggers been overwhelming feelings of failure. Feeling like a disappointment to my loved ones. I'm working but its in a call centre and I hate the person I am in there.

My girlfriend is brilliant supportive and encouraging, but I don't know if this is my lot, am I as smart as I think I am, I'm 33 I've no idea what I want to do, if all my stresshead brain can cope with is callcentres I may as well throw in the towel the fight is done.
Click to expand...
I'm going to echo what Janiep says. You have a girlfriend who clearly thinks the world of you, most people aren't that lucky.

You want to succeed, you want to improve your life. That's a great sign. Have you considered doing something different, evening classes or the like? It may give you more confidence in your own abilities.

I am lucky, I haven't had to go through this, so this thread is a sobering read. Good luck to you all
 
Shaw tarse said:
Mine is back and worse than ever really want to get off the f***ing bus
doctors is a must for me next week
Click to expand...
Stick in there pet and get yourself to the doc. You're not alone - come and talk to the SMB any time.[DOUBLEPOST=1392587620][/DOUBLEPOST]
shrek said:
I was depressed last year, well thought I was until I felt how I feel right now - last year was mild in comparison.

Ive destroyed my relationship, going to lose my house (I have with the now ex) - Im hoping I can still crack on at work as its all I have.

Im on medication and in the care of a specialist team. I know Im having issues when this should be the most excited Ive ever been as a Sunderland fan and I just dont give a shit.

Awful and on this occasion I also have physical pain (nervous stomach, tight chest) I just really despise waking up. I know thats selfish as we've lost fantastic members of this board too soon who didnt want to go. But, its just how I feel.
Click to expand...

You too, stick in there. Glad you're in the care of a specialist time. One step at a time - keep going. One day it will get better.
 
Oba said:
I once read that stress is created when the gap between expectation and reality is large and prolonged over time, so what Lurchio said seems to reasonate.

Don't understand depression. Perhaps I overestimate human ability to master oneself. Is it chemical?
Click to expand...

Yup I don't believe my expectations are amazingly high but I even fail to hit those.
 
janiep said:
Stick in there pet and get yourself to the doc. You're not alone - come and talk to the SMB any time.[DOUBLEPOST=1392587620][/DOUBLEPOST]

You too, stick in there. Glad you're in the care of a specialist time. One step at a time - keep going. One day it will get better.
Click to expand...

I know, and I know its normal for me not to see it but as I sit here back at my parents with ruins around me I just dont see how. Even if I do feel it I still have to watch the perfect girl for me walk away and my house go.
 
shrek said:
I know, and I know its normal for me not to see it but as I sit here back at my parents with ruins around me I just dont see how. Even if I do feel it I still have to watch the perfect girl for me walk away and my house go.
Click to expand...

Sorry about the GF and house, and I guess there's no quick fix. Is the relationship definitely beyond saving? It's horrible when catastrophes hit; they are devastating. Stick in there, try and be kind to yourself. Whatever has happened, even whatever you've done, you don't deserve to be tormented.
 
Does my head in how many people claim they're 'depressed' these days when in actual fact they're just a bit down or feeling sorry for themselves. GP's are far too quick to diagnose and put people on pills as a quick fix too. It's completely wrong.

It's basically the new "I've got flu" when in fact you've got the sniffles.

Ps: before the backlash starts this ain't a knock on anyone who's posted so far. I don't doubt anyone's claims on here, just an honest observation of people doing a disservice to a very serious illness in modern day society.
 
shrek said:
I know, and I know its normal for me not to see it but as I sit here back at my parents with ruins around me I just dont see how. Even if I do feel it I still have to watch the perfect girl for me walk away and my house go.
Click to expand...
I'm 44 mate and lost my house and girlfriend. Not the same circumstances but she wasn't the perfect girl for "you" but you will meet her. No matter what anyone one says life is up's and down's. Think of this as a down and you can only go up. Good luck.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top