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Depression thread continued...


No hobbies really but when I need to shut out the bad thoughts I play my favourite video games (childish I know) or rewatch my favourite old TV shows. Nostalgia for happier times takes the edge off.
It's better you're occupied until you're ready to move forward.
I put it on FB about an hour after to tell my extended friends and family know and my cousin decided to have a pop at my as it was how she found it out. I apologized like but she wasn't having any of it (she didn't even ask how anyone was especially my mother) I remained sympathetic and until my aunty said she was going around my cousins kicking off about it, I mean it know it's her uncle but she didn't have to phone my sister in Holland while she was alone in a room in holland and hearing her break down and feeling helpless about not being there. she's in Blackpool having a holiday and did phone him once over the past week but that's the first time in about 8 years they've spoke and hasn't been in touch since. I know she lost her mother as a child and has major health issues but surely it's a pretty horrible thing to behave to some who watched his father take his last breaths about 1 hour earlier.

Whatever sympathy I had has fucked right off and hope to never see her again (can't stop her from going to the funeral but after that she can do one).

I'm sorry for ranting here you are all going through your own trials and tribulations.
Tis okay. I'm thinking back a few months to a certain lady I mentioned who chose the moment I was at my lowest to put the boot in.

After the funeral, just shut her out of your life for good.
 
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No hobbies really but when I need to shut out the bad thoughts I play my favourite video games (childish I know) or rewatch my favourite old TV shows. Nostalgia for happier times takes the edge off.
Video games can bring joy it doesn't matter how old you are.
It's better you're occupied until you're ready to move forward.

Tis okay. I'm thinking back a few months to a certain lady I mentioned who chose the moment I was at my lowest to put the boot in.

After the funeral, just shut her out of your life for good.
Very wise mate, thats my thoughts. Once the funeral is over i'm cutting any sort of contact. thankfully my sister handled it with grace but I won't apologize for being more concerned about her well being than a twat who kicked me in the balls a few minutes after my father passed on.
 
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A little bit of an update. I'm not sure what I've mentioned lately as I've had a break from here.

So after all of my mental health treatment via NHS Talking Therapies, I am still feeling better, some good days, some bad.

1) A good thing is someone I was on holiday with reached out for help. It ended up with a 2.5 hour phone call, 11 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. I was able to reassure her about NHS Talking Therapies, NHS Right to Choose and her almost mirror situation (employment help) with multiple neurodiversities (ASD, AD-HD and Dyspraxia).

2) A change in team at work has led to some anxiety. I actually think the 2010 Equality Act may have been breached as something called an Equality Impact Assessment was apparently missed (consideration of wellbeing of disabled, neurodiverse and chronically ill employees - protected characteristics). However, new team are okay though it's generally known I'd like to go back to the old team where the people who supported me are. There's another reorganisation coming due to temps being laid off and I suspect another move, possibly back to my old team - fingers crossed, so not rocking the boat.

3) Comedy moment: I'm generally not too adventurous foodwise, so never considered the effects of food additives on AD-HD symptoms. Someone gave me a cake at work yesterday and like the walking sewer I am, I scoffed it. My AD-HD symptoms kicked in and I went hyper and I believe an ingredient in the cake caused it. I actually don't remember parts of the journey home and forgot to get a Metro ticket.

I got off at Haymarket in Newc**tle, to find ticket inspectors at the top of the escalator. I'd managed to come round a bit, so frantically tried to buy a ticket on my phone but no signal. They hadn't noticed me, so managed to sneak back down to the Metro, go back to West Jesmond with no inspectors and buy a ticket. I went back through as though nothing happened. £100 fine for no ticket avoided - feeling chuffed.

Then I saw a woman be more up front and say she lost her ticket. They gave her a docket covering her journey cost and told her she'd be fine if she paid her fare in 21 days.

I was not thinking straight for sure with all my sneaking around. 😂

Seroiusly though, whatever the ingredient was made me feel like I was high on some sort of drug. 😋

Kept coming and going a bit for next few hours.
 
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A little bit of an update. I'm not sure what I've mentioned lately as I've had a break from here.

So after all of my mental health treatment via NHS Talking Therapies, I am still feeling better, some good days, some bad.

1) A good thing is someone I was on holiday with reached out for help. It ended up with a 2.5 hour phone call, 11 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. I was able to reassure her about NHS Talking Therapies, NHS Right to Choose and her almost mirror situation (employment help) with multiple neurodiversities (ASD, AD-HD and Dyspraxia).

2) A change in team at work has led to some anxiety. I actually think the 2010 Equality Act may have been breached as something called an Equality Impact Assessment was apparently missed (consideration of wellbeing of disabled, neurodiverse and chronically ill employees - protected characteristics). However, new team are okay though it's generally known I'd like to go back to the old team where the people who supported me are. There's another reorganisation coming due to temps being laid off and I suspect another move, possibly back to my old team - fingers crossed, so not rocking the boat.

3) Comedy moment: I'm generally not too adventurous foodwise, so never considered the effects of food additives on AD-HD symptoms. Someone gave me a cake at work yesterday and like the walking sewer I am, I scoffed it. My AD-HD symptoms kicked in and I went hyper and I believe an ingredient in the cake caused it. I actually don't remember parts of the journey home and forgot to get a Metro ticket.

I got off at Haymarket in Newc**tle, to find ticket inspectors at the top of the escalator. I'd managed to come round a bit, so frantically tried to buy a ticket on my phone but no signal. They hadn't noticed me, so managed to sneak back down to the Metro, go back to West Jesmond with no inspectors and buy a ticket. I went back through as though nothing happened. £100 fine for no ticket avoided - feeling chuffed.

Then I saw a woman be more up front and say she lost her ticket. They gave her a docket covering her journey cost and told her she'd be fine if she paid her fare in 21 days.

I was not thinking straight for sure with all my sneaking around. 😂

Seroiusly though, whatever the ingredient was made me feel like I was high on some sort of drug. 😋

Kept coming and going a bit for next few hours.
You'll be ok mate.. ❤️
 
I've suffered from it 24/7 and 365 days a year for years and years and it's not nice. I've been on all kinds of tablets but they just make you ly still and sleepy all the time and just didn't like it at all.
 
I've suffered from it 24/7 and 365 days a year for years and years and it's not nice. I've been on all kinds of tablets but they just make you ly still and sleepy all the time and just didn't like it at all.
I am on Sertraline and have mixed thoughts on it, it definitely helps how I fee in me headl but makes me even less productive than I was before so essentially it just seems to make me feel a bit numb about it all.
 
I've had a bad time lately. Currently taking propranolol and escitaloprám, had some diazepam but only for a week. Meds seem to be working so far.
Hope you are feeling better mate.

I’m in a bit of a funny mood lately. Few month ago I had crisis team out as I had knife to my throat in bed. I’ve spoke about this before.
Changed my meds to fluoxetine I’ve had these before but you know what it’s like. Change tablets get to max dose then have to change again.

I seem to be doing alright on these. Done me back in at graft and had three weeks off so that knocked me back cos I need routine. But back at work now and feel happy enough. The only thing is I feel angry a lot and that’s not subsiding with tablets.
Worrying quite a lot too.

Ah it is what it is. Plenty poor people worse off than this fat lad haha.
Hope everyone is keeping on. Here for anyone if they need a chat. Love Rhubarb x
 
Hope you are feeling better mate.

I’m in a bit of a funny mood lately. Few month ago I had crisis team out as I had knife to my throat in bed. I’ve spoke about this before.
Changed my meds to fluoxetine I’ve had these before but you know what it’s like. Change tablets get to max dose then have to change again.

I seem to be doing alright on these. Done me back in at graft and had three weeks off so that knocked me back cos I need routine. But back at work now and feel happy enough. The only thing is I feel angry a lot and that’s not subsiding with tablets.
Worrying quite a lot too.

Ah it is what it is. Plenty poor people worse off than this fat lad haha.
Hope everyone is keeping on. Here for anyone if they need a chat. Love Rhubarb x

Wish you were down here and would take you pike fishing.
Both just sit talking bollocks and having a laugh. Stay strong the same for everyone.
Just remember it’s not you just those bastard head demons that need caging.
 
Wish you were down here and would take you pike fishing.
Both just sit talking bollocks and having a laugh. Stay strong the same for everyone.
Just remember it’s not you just those bastard head demons that need caging.
Cheers mate. I wish I was too! Never tried pike fishing bairn wants to try it though so maybe is the time. Take care mate
 
Cheers mate. I wish I was too! Never tried pike fishing bairn wants to try it though so maybe is the time. Take care mate

Keep that head up Mate.
Would be great to take him out. Flooded down here however hoping to get to the reservoir near here to Pike fish. Some massive “crocs” in there.
 
Amazing how I find i go from either feeling great about everything to a day or 2 of getting out of routine, not sleeping correctly, not eating correctly (this is the big one for me), and before I know it I am in an unpleasant cycle and the black clouds are swirling overhead. Got to push hard to fix things today.
Amazing how I find i go from either feeling great about everything to a day or 2 of getting out of routine, not sleeping correctly, not eating correctly (this is the big one for me), and before I know it I am in an unpleasant cycle and the black clouds are swirling overhead. Got to push hard to fix things today.
 
Lately it's just felt like one thing after another.

Bit of context. I'm 33 now. When I was 18, I started having back pain, mostly in the upper-right section although occasionally in other areas. Across the last 15 years, I've seen the GP, various physios, a chiropractor, an osteopath, an acupuncturist and a couple of masseurs. Mostly, I've regulated the pain with exercise, swimming being the main thing that's helped over the years but also yoga and Pilates.

A couple of years ago, I started to get pain in my left knee while training for the GNR (the one and only time I did it). This year, I've started with pain in my right wrist and forearm after extended mouse/keyboard use, both shoulders and often the other pains are spreading to my neck.

On Friday, I had to see an emergency dentist because since Thursday night I'd been having the most extreme pain in one of my teeth, it felt like there was a huge amount of pressure on it, likely linked to a cold/sinus issues. The dentist took x-rays (accidentally dropping the arm of the x-ray machine on my forehead in the process) and found that the nerve inside that (already broken) tooth has died and I need root canal and a crown. Through antibiotics and painkillers (just paracetamol as I'm asthmatic and can't take oral antiinflammatories or aspirin) I managed to improve quite a lot over the weekend, but I'm still not back to work today as I woke up and just felt totally rubbish and unable to go in. My nose isn't nearly as blocked as it was, my tooth isn't hurting at all today and physically I don't think I could really find a justification for being absent, I just felt like I needed the extra day.

This morning, I've also had a phone consultation with a physio for the pain that started about 2 months in my left foot (which the GP thinks it's tendonitis). I have in-person physio booked in which hopefully will help with that aspect.

Sorry for the word vomit, I think I just needed to get it all out on the page.

Mental health and physical health are the same thing, so I suppose it's no wonder that poorer physical health has led me to poorer mental health of late.
 
Both have negative effects on the other, hope things improve. Oral health also has a massive effect on wellbeing.
Honestly, tooth pain is the worst I've ever experienced! My mam reckons the only things which have hurt more are childbirth (sorry mam) and gallstones.
 
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