Confrontation with mags at work today

[Keith S30S]

Dear diary,

As I was in the vending machine que at my workplace today I was waiting patiently in line for my usual (2 packets of hula hoops (sequential) and a double decker) when I notice that one of the resident mags whos legal name is 'Chunk Off' which I can officially verfiy that his official birth certificate OFFICIALLY proves it.. is in his normal spot leaning on the mr vend you machine while chatting to his mag brethren.

As I edged closer to the promised land of crips and chocolate I overheard the 176 stone collective (thats 4 of them) saying things such as '2-2 wasnt that bad in the end' and 'if wafa gets this awab cash we'll be in euwope come may man'. After listening to this rabble for about 15 mins while I worked my way through the crowd (theres alot of mags at my work) finally it was my turn on the machine so I slot in my pound coins at an almost perpendicular horizontal 90 degree angle as the heavy set slob known as Chunk Off (33 and a half stone, whiffs of bisto) does tilt the machine when he leans on it. The resulting tension on the machine caused my double decker to get stuck long ways against the glass again, so I kindly asked the triple necked, triple chinned fat f***ing stinker to take his elephants leg sized arm off of the vendor so I could retrieve my chocolate bar. His reply of 'Fuck off its mine man' did not deter me as I reached up inside the machine to get what I paid for however as I did I was subjected to accumulate a torrid torrential tidal wave of wobbly chinned abuse with the mags saying such things as 'theres na cheezey chips in there you mackem bastad believe me I've looked' and 'blooooo pop bloooo pop' and some impalpable un understandable line about cheese, keys wees. Alas I got away unscathed and uneaten and reported them to my manager, complaints filed im waiting on a reply.

As I walked back to my work station it registered in my head that one of the calorie crew during the double decker scuffle had said 'How ya gonna feel when we sign Benzema and Insigne in january man ya divvent ya just divvent DIVVENT understand' It got me thinking.. they wont sign players of that calibre will they?? Surely not..... right?

Unabnned, unbenched King Mackem KING of the mackems signing off - 4:31pm wednesday 29th of november.

Only the hard of thinking pay vending machine prices. You can get about 20 bags of hula hoops for 2 quid at B&M's.

 

[den]

Not reading all that, could someone please give a quick summary?

Fat mags fighting on a double decker bus ,over a hola hoop.

 

[KingMackem]

Only the hard of thinking pay vending machine prices. You can get about 20 bags of hula hoops for 2 quid at B&M's.

Aye but the problem is theres no B&Ms in my work canteen

 

[richest]

Was the OP's thread of any interest ? Couldn't be bothered to read

No

 

[peil]

Started a new job today, lad I'm next to at the desk is a Mag.
He was rather pleasant, but it was my first day.

 

[Keith S30S]

Aye but the problem is theres no B&Ms in my work canteen

Buying crisps a day or 2 before you eat them does require a modicum of planning...

 

[KingMackem]

Started a new job today, lad I'm next to at the desk is a Mag.
He was rather pleasant, but it was my first day.

Wait until you see him at lunchtime before passing judgement mate

Buying crisps a day or 2 before you eat them does require a modicum of planning...

But then I would have to assimilate which flavour I'd want in advance unless I bring a whole multipack with me, I only know what I want when im hungry which is why a magless vendo would be brilliant

 

[Keith S30S]

Wait until you see him at lunchtime before passing judgement mate



But then I would have to assimilate which flavour I'd want in advance unless I bring a whole multipack with me, I only know what I want when im hungry which is why a magless vendo would be brilliant

Just buy a bag man, 14 for 2 quid and mag avoidance.

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A quid for these anarl.

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[Big Duke Six]

Your gaffa allows you 15 mins to queue up for kets?

 

[Superbadross]

Grass

This can't stand them, if he was a real man, he'd of choked him out at the vending machine and then pissed on him while he lay unconscious, but instead cried to management about it ... it's sad sad times we're living in these days

 

[KingMackem]

Just buy a bag man, 14 for 2 quid and mag avoidance.

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A quid for these anarl.

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You've twisted my arm with them dinky deckers like, quality gear

 

[Sombrero]

Started a new job today, lad I'm next to at the desk is a Mag.
He was rather pleasant, but it was my first day.

I've even heard some of them don't eat their own bairns?

 

[Grammar Police]

Queue

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[ighty seven]

This can't stand them, if he was a real man, he'd of choked him out at the vending machine and then pissed on him while he lay unconscious, but instead cried to management about it ... it's sad sad times we're living in these days

Thinks he’s f***ing class an’arl

 

[Royal 8er]

On behalf of the entire SMB: "Didn't happen"

EDIT: Also, too much time on your hands (says me the one reading all that shit).

So many spelling mistakes I couldn't keep my mind on what gist was contained therein.

 

[ODIN]

Made up story and stinks of mag.

 

[Far Tibetan Mountain]

Dear diary,

As I was in the vending machine que at my workplace today I was waiting patiently in line for my usual (2 packets of hula hoops (sequential) and a double decker) when I notice that one of the resident mags whos legal name is 'Chunk Off' which I can officially verfiy that his official birth certificate OFFICIALLY proves it.. is in his normal spot leaning on the mr vend you machine while chatting to his mag brethren.

As I edged closer to the promised land of crips and chocolate I overheard the 176 stone collective (thats 4 of them) saying things such as '2-2 wasnt that bad in the end' and 'if wafa gets this awab cash we'll be in euwope come may man'. After listening to this rabble for about 15 mins while I worked my way through the crowd (theres alot of mags at my work) finally it was my turn on the machine so I slot in my pound coins at an almost perpendicular horizontal 90 degree angle as the heavy set slob known as Chunk Off (33 and a half stone, whiffs of bisto) does tilt the machine when he leans on it. The resulting tension on the machine caused my double decker to get stuck long ways against the glass again, so I kindly asked the triple necked, triple chinned fat f***ing stinker to take his elephants leg sized arm off of the vendor so I could retrieve my chocolate bar. His reply of 'Fuck off its mine man' did not deter me as I reached up inside the machine to get what I paid for however as I did I was subjected to accumulate a torrid torrential tidal wave of wobbly chinned abuse with the mags saying such things as 'theres na cheezey chips in there you mackem bastad believe me I've looked' and 'blooooo pop bloooo pop' and some impalpable un understandable line about cheese, keys wees. Alas I got away unscathed and uneaten and reported them to my manager, complaints filed im waiting on a reply.

As I walked back to my work station it registered in my head that one of the calorie crew during the double decker scuffle had said 'How ya gonna feel when we sign Benzema and Insigne in january man ya divvent ya just divvent DIVVENT understand' It got me thinking.. they wont sign players of that calibre will they?? Surely not..... right?

Unabnned, unbenched King Mackem KING of the mackems signing off - 4:31pm wednesday 29th of november.

Didn't read very far as its a little bit boring, but making up this sort of shit is a bit weird.

And it's spelled queue.

 

[woodlebert]

Obsessed.

 

[Vauxie]

Was the OP's thread of any interest ? Couldn't be bothered to read

No was all made up

 

[andymulesafc]

@TerrysChippie has a new log in.