K
KingMackem
Guest
Dear diary,
As I was in the vending machine que at my workplace today I was waiting patiently in line for my usual (2 packets of hula hoops (sequential) and a double decker) when I notice that one of the resident mags whos legal name is 'Chunk Off' which I can officially verfiy that his official birth certificate OFFICIALLY proves it.. is in his normal spot leaning on the mr vend you machine while chatting to his mag brethren.
As I edged closer to the promised land of crips and chocolate I overheard the 176 stone collective (thats 4 of them) saying things such as '2-2 wasnt that bad in the end' and 'if wafa gets this awab cash we'll be in euwope come may man'. After listening to this rabble for about 15 mins while I worked my way through the crowd (theres alot of mags at my work) finally it was my turn on the machine so I slot in my pound coins at an almost perpendicular horizontal 90 degree angle as the heavy set slob known as Chunk Off (33 and a half stone, whiffs of bisto) does tilt the machine when he leans on it. The resulting tension on the machine caused my double decker to get stuck long ways against the glass again, so I kindly asked the triple necked, triple chinned fat f***ing stinker to take his elephants leg sized arm off of the vendor so I could retrieve my chocolate bar. His reply of 'Fuck off its mine man' did not deter me as I reached up inside the machine to get what I paid for however as I did I was subjected to accumulate a torrid torrential tidal wave of wobbly chinned abuse with the mags saying such things as 'theres na cheezey chips in there you mackem bastad believe me I've looked' and 'blooooo pop bloooo pop' and some impalpable un understandable line about cheese, keys wees. Alas I got away unscathed and uneaten and reported them to my manager, complaints filed im waiting on a reply.
As I walked back to my work station it registered in my head that one of the calorie crew during the double decker scuffle had said 'How ya gonna feel when we sign Benzema and Insigne in january man ya divvent ya just divvent DIVVENT understand' It got me thinking.. they wont sign players of that calibre will they?? Surely not..... right?
Unabnned, unbenched King Mackem KING of the mackems signing off - 4:31pm wednesday 29th of november.
As I was in the vending machine que at my workplace today I was waiting patiently in line for my usual (2 packets of hula hoops (sequential) and a double decker) when I notice that one of the resident mags whos legal name is 'Chunk Off' which I can officially verfiy that his official birth certificate OFFICIALLY proves it.. is in his normal spot leaning on the mr vend you machine while chatting to his mag brethren.
As I edged closer to the promised land of crips and chocolate I overheard the 176 stone collective (thats 4 of them) saying things such as '2-2 wasnt that bad in the end' and 'if wafa gets this awab cash we'll be in euwope come may man'. After listening to this rabble for about 15 mins while I worked my way through the crowd (theres alot of mags at my work) finally it was my turn on the machine so I slot in my pound coins at an almost perpendicular horizontal 90 degree angle as the heavy set slob known as Chunk Off (33 and a half stone, whiffs of bisto) does tilt the machine when he leans on it. The resulting tension on the machine caused my double decker to get stuck long ways against the glass again, so I kindly asked the triple necked, triple chinned fat f***ing stinker to take his elephants leg sized arm off of the vendor so I could retrieve my chocolate bar. His reply of 'Fuck off its mine man' did not deter me as I reached up inside the machine to get what I paid for however as I did I was subjected to accumulate a torrid torrential tidal wave of wobbly chinned abuse with the mags saying such things as 'theres na cheezey chips in there you mackem bastad believe me I've looked' and 'blooooo pop bloooo pop' and some impalpable un understandable line about cheese, keys wees. Alas I got away unscathed and uneaten and reported them to my manager, complaints filed im waiting on a reply.
As I walked back to my work station it registered in my head that one of the calorie crew during the double decker scuffle had said 'How ya gonna feel when we sign Benzema and Insigne in january man ya divvent ya just divvent DIVVENT understand' It got me thinking.. they wont sign players of that calibre will they?? Surely not..... right?
Unabnned, unbenched King Mackem KING of the mackems signing off - 4:31pm wednesday 29th of november.
