Chemo no 5 - The Rules of Life and What Is Most Important

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Well to me anyhoo

Sat here connected up to my old friend Metal Mickey while he delivers the poison into my chest port so it’s time to muse. As ever this is for me while I’m spaced out on drugs to pass time, think about life, the future and the now, but feel free to read, reply saying ‘I’m not reading all that’, add your own quirky rules of life, call me an attention seeking tosser, whatever.

So I may be checking out sooner than planned but I've had a year or so of what they call 'putting things in perspective'. In that time I've come to appreciate stuff which has risen, not necessarily to the top, but bubbled its way upwards. Some seem trivial and some are obvious. I'll start with the obvious.

Family - number one by a country mile. I know they have it in the job description but having good family support just spreads the shit out automatically so its so much easier to deal with all the embuggerence. There’s a circles theory that you can only moan to those in the bigger circle outwards and not inwards. So I’m in the centre and there’s no twisting allowed about ‘how hard it is’ for them. My family have never complained. I just get unlimited support. I try to be normal and not be a bother and whatnot but they have been quite frankly amazing.

The Other Half - she has turned out to be a bloody diamond despite my moaning on about her (and to her) for years. There's still loads that irritate me and I may have written about this in the 'things that irritate you' thread but I know I have a good one there, despite her putting milk in the cup before the teabag and whatnot.

She left a cup of tea on my solid fucking teak sink unit -look at me etc- in the bathroom the other day which left a stain - I’m with Larry David on this , respect the fucking wood. Maybe I’m a bit mental about stuff, this is her take anyway. Despite all this I think she is is as important as the family section. I’m not ‘brave’ all the time and only she sees the tears, the breakdowns and the mental anguish that nobody else does, ever. It’s not very often but it happens.

Cancer is painful, it really fucking hurts, there is only escape in sleep. Sometimes I know I’m in a dream purely because I’m not in pain so I know it isn’t real. It’s been over a year so I’ve forgotten what pain free is. Pills help but it never goes away. So yes, sometimes I cry. More so when looking at old photos of the bairn and the potential lack of future with her than because of the tumours dancing on my nerve ends. Moan over.

Real friends - I try not to be an attention seeking bell, honestly, but there are some that have given me great strength. Proper topper people and eternally optimistic. Know the good ones and pay it back before you owe it, they are worth it. I include some of my virtual friends in here. Some of yers are just topper too - sending hugs huns

They are easy so on to the others

Appreciate things and tell people if they do things you appreciate. It's one of the best words in the English Language. Try it for a while and watch the reaction

Live in the moment. What are you doing now? Or just before reading this? If you’re having a good time, know it, there and then. Take a moment to stop, empty your head of the bullshit and just drink in the stuff that makes you happy. Sometimes I’m like a 10 year old on Christmas Eve over nowt in particular

Enough new age bunkum, the little things -

Buy proper eggs. Not for the chicken, I’m not really a tree hugger, but get the golden yolk ones. Eggs are fucking brilliant so nee skimping. And do not keep them in the fridge.

Cook. Or learn to. Start with eggs, scramble them and don’t use a microwave. Then chop an onion and make something, fuck recipes, google what you’ve got and there will be something on the internet which will closely match what you have, it doesn’t have to be exact. Put baked beans in chilli con carne if you want. Fuck foodies banging on about authenticity. If you think it will taste nice, it probably will. Buy that fresh bit of cod, get home, put the pan on and cook it, skin down first, couple of minutes, turn over repeat, season and use some butter.

On the subject of butter. Get proper butter. These low fat spread, can’t believe it’s not shite, are work of the devil, made using ant’s testicles and just plain fucking wrong. And keep it in the cupboard unless there’s a heatwave.

Buy salad. But put some dressing on it and eat it, don’t leave it at the bottom of the fridge and chuck it out a few days later. It takes ages to eat salad, put some meat in if you have to but try it. Then add things like avocado, peppers or whatever you like. Get your store cupboard stocked up. Have some music or a radio to listen to. It’s therapy for me.

Our lass likes that I cook too. It’s the only time she says “That was amazing” sadly.

Your car is not important. It needs to get you somewhere so look after it and that’s it. Unless it’s your hobby, insert caveat here. Cars can make some people happy so car away.

People matter so much more than things. I have a lot of things. I’m a gadget nerd and my employers promoted me over the years and paid me more each time bless them. So I bought things. I’ve got a proper old terraced house and I fucking love it. High ceilings, git big skirting boards, fireplaces, a wood stove and it doesn’t creak like a new build coz they built them proper back then. I have a man cave up in the loft with things what make me happy - no it isn’t a sex dungeon or owt. Despite all this there is no substitute for having people round for a good old chat and a laugh. It helps if you like them. I treat people like I would like to be treated. It’s a simple and old mantra but it works for me.

Tidy up you lazy bastards

Travel. I can’t but I used to. Do city breaks and steep yourself in the culture. Go to Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, the Norwegian fjords and other amazing places. All inclusive, running for the sunbeds and lying there with the sun tan lotion is bollocks. You don’t look good with a tan. You look weird. And it isn’t good for you. You can eat shit food and drink too much alcohol anywhere.

Don’t drop litter or pick it up if you do. You lazy bastards.

Don’t smoke. Most people don’t. It isn’t hard. Just stop doing it. There’s a lass here in the chemo ward, with her mother, who has been out 3 times for a tab. She’s 10 feet away and she stinks. There’s no need for patches. It isn’t your friend that you will miss. It’s disgusting and it harms others. So don’t.

You are all going to die so don’t waste it. I’m naturally more aware of it and may be in the fast lane but I’ll see you all up there one day. Well apart from the wrong uns obviously. In the meantime cherish every day. Even the shit ones.

Don’t chew with your mouth open.

And keep the faith. I’m being disconnected now so ta’ra

All the best
 
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Hadn't followed what has been happening to you, but that's a brilliant post and something a lot of us (myself included) should print off and read each morning.

Sorry to hear that you think it's now fast lane time and I'm sure you'll make the most of what remains.
 
Well to me anyhoo

Sat here connected up to my old friend Metal Mickey while he delivers the poison into my chest port so it’s time to muse. As ever this is for me while I’m spaced out on drugs to pass time, think about life, the future and the now, but feel free to read, reply saying ‘I’m not reading all that’, add your own quirky rules of life, call me an attention seeking tosser, whatever.

So I may be checking out sooner than planned but I've had a year or so of what they call 'putting things in perspective'. In that time I've come to appreciate stuff which has risen, not necessarily to the top, but bubbled its way upwards. Some seem trivial and some are obvious. I'll start with the obvious.

Family - number one by a country mile. I know they have it in the job description but having good family support just spreads the shit out automatically so its so much easier to deal with all the embuggerence. There’s a circles theory that you can only moan to those in the bigger circle outwards and not inwards. So I’m in the centre and there’s no twisting allowed about ‘how hard it is’ for them. My family have never complained. I just get unlimited support. I try to be normal and not be a bother and whatnot but they have been quite frankly amazing.

The Other Half - she has turned out to be a bloody diamond despite my moaning on about her (and to her) for years. There's still loads that irritate me and I may have written about this in the 'things that irritate you' thread but I know I have a good one there, despite her putting milk in the cup before the teabag and whatnot.

She left a cup of tea on my solid fucking teak sink unit -look at me etc- in the bathroom the other day which left a stain - I’m with Larry David on this , respect the fucking wood. Maybe I’m a bit mental about stuff, this is her take anyway. Despite all this I think she is is as important as the family section. I’m not ‘brave’ all the time and only she sees the tears, the breakdowns and the mental anguish that nobody else does, ever. It’s not very often but it happens.

Cancer is painful, it really fucking hurts, there is only escape in sleep. Sometimes I know I’m in a dream purely because I’m not in pain so I know it isn’t real. It’s been over a year so I’ve forgotten what pain free is. Pills help but it never goes away. So yes, sometimes I cry. More so when looking at old photos of the bairn and the potential lack of future with her than because of the tumours dancing on my nerve ends. Moan over.

Real friends - I try not to be an attention seeking bell, honestly, but there are some that have given me great strength. Proper topper people and eternally optimistic. Know the good ones and pay it back before you owe it, they are worth it. I include some of my virtual friends in here. Some of yers are just topper too - sending hugs huns

They are easy so on to the others

Appreciate things and tell people if they do things you appreciate. It's one of the best words in the English Language. Try it for a while and watch the reaction

Live in the moment. What are you doing now? Or just before reading this? If you’re having a good time, know it, there and then. Take a moment to stop, empty your head of the bullshit and just drink in the stuff that makes you happy. Sometimes I’m like a 10 year old on Christmas Eve over nowt in particular

Enough new age bunkum, the little things -

Buy proper eggs. Not for the chicken, I’m not really a tree hugger, but get the golden yolk ones. Eggs are fucking brilliant so nee skimping. And do not keep them in the fridge.

Cook. Or learn to. Start with eggs, scramble them and don’t use a microwave. Then chop an onion and make something, fuck recipes, google what you’ve got and there will be something on the internet which will closely match what you have, it doesn’t have to be exact. Put baked beans in chilli con carne if you want. Fuck foodies banging on about authenticity. If you think it will taste nice, it probably will. Buy that fresh bit of cod, get home, put the pan on and cook it, skin down first, couple of minutes, turn over repeat, season and use some butter.

On the subject of butter. Get proper butter. These low fat spread, can’t believe it’s not shite, are work of the devil, made using ant’s testicles and just plain fucking wrong. And keep it in the cupboard unless there’s a heatwave.

Buy salad. But put some dressing on it and eat it, don’t leave it at the bottom of the fridge and chuck it out a few days later. It takes ages to eat salad, put some meat in if you have to but try it. Then add things like avocado, peppers or whatever you like. Get your store cupboard stocked up. Have some music or a radio to listen to. It’s therapy for me.

Our lass likes that I cook too. It’s the only time she says “That was amazing” sadly.

Your car is not important. It needs to get you somewhere so look after it and that’s it. Unless it’s your hobby, insert caveat here. Cars can make some people happy so car away.

People matter so much more than things. I have a lot of things. I’m a gadget nerd and my employers promoted me over the years and paid me more each time bless them. So I bought things. I’ve got a proper old terraced house and I fucking love it. High ceilings, git big skirting boards, fireplaces, a wood stove and it doesn’t creak like a new build coz they built them proper back then. I have a man cave up in the loft with things what make me happy - no it isn’t a sex dungeon or owt. Despite all this there is no substitute for having people round for a good old chat and a laugh. It helps if you like them. I treat people like I would like to be treated. It’s a simple and old mantra but it works for me.

Tidy up you lazy bastards

Travel. I can’t but I used to. Do city breaks and steep yourself in the culture. Go to Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, the Norwegian fjords and other amazing places. All inclusive, running for the sunbeds and lying there with the sun tan lotion is bollocks. You don’t look good with a tan. You look weird. And it isn’t good for you. You can eat shit food and drink too much alcohol anywhere.

Don’t drop litter or pick it up if you do. You lazy bastards.

Don’t smoke. Most people don’t. It isn’t hard. Just stop doing it. There’s a lass here in the chemo ward, with her mother, who has been out 3 times for a tab. She’s 10 feet away and she stinks. There’s no need for patches. It isn’t your friend that you will miss. It’s disgusting and it harms others. So don’t.

You are all going to die so don’t waste it. I’m naturally more aware of it and may be in the fast lane but I’ll see you all up there one day. Well apart from the wrong uns obviously. In the meantime cherish every day. Even the shit ones.

Don’t chew with your mouth open.

And keep the faith. I’m being disconnected now so ta’ra

All the best
Enjoyed reading that, all the best marra and good luck.
 
All the best fella.

Baz Luhrmann is contacting his lawyers about the opening post as I type.
I keep my eggs in the fridge, FWIW.
I keep mine in the fridge as well. That's in part because I'm Captain Two-Fridges and have more space in them than I do in the cupboards.
 
@foggy - love these posts mate - you know we are all rooting for you and I only wish you had been as lucky as me. Your posts make me realise just how lucky I am.

boogie boogie as Metal Mickey would say (for those old enough):lol:
 
seems wrong to like your post but it really is a cracking read from you...

and to be fair I want a man cave in the loft.. I was up it on Sunday and thought.. oo if I do this.. and do that. the joists make it a fuck on but it can be overcome
 
I fucking love that song:

Can’t believe you typed it out in full.
Creepy. I can honestly say I am not Baz, I've never heard of him or that song. But I agree with him obviously.

@foggy - love these posts mate - you know we are all rooting for you and I only wish you had been as lucky as me. Your posts make me realise just how lucky I am.

boogie boogie as Metal Mickey would say (for those old enough):lol:
Cheers marra, you were my first port of call when everything was ahead of me. Your advice was spot on.
 
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