D
Deleted member 29601
Guest
Take the dress and make up off and gadgie up man
Beer fear
- Thread starter Its Him Again
- Start date
- Status
L
lordy
Guest
Take the dress and make up off and gadgie up man
I know exactly what it is, it doesnt stop me doing anything and I can usually defeat it with a few sneaky pints anyhow, but it's still a nasty horrid feeling
moo
Midfield
The Spiders
Waking up, desperate for water.
The Spiders.
The jarring memories.
The Spiders.
Ahh shite, we got beat yesterday.
The Spiders.
Went out with the lads though.
The Spiders.
Ahh shit.
The Spiders.
Did I say that or think it?
The Spiders.
It will be ok. Everyone was pissed
The Spiders.
It's not ok.
The Spiders are on me, they're covering my dishevelled body.
They bring the fear.
The Spiders.
Waking up, desperate for water.
The Spiders.
The jarring memories.
The Spiders.
Ahh shite, we got beat yesterday.
The Spiders.
Went out with the lads though.
The Spiders.
Ahh shit.
The Spiders.
Did I say that or think it?
The Spiders.
It will be ok. Everyone was pissed
The Spiders.
It's not ok.
The Spiders are on me, they're covering my dishevelled body.
They bring the fear.
The Spiders.
shogun1904
Striker
It is a shit pub. The music policy is pretty random though. Not always stuff like that.
heroesof73
Striker
deleted user 785
Striker
I'm terrible for it me. A day after a night on the ale is torture. Feels like the world is going to end and that bad will happen to everyone I know.
Never had a proper drink since 2nd Jan and I'm not missing it at all.
Never had a proper drink since 2nd Jan and I'm not missing it at all.
shogun1904
Striker
Nuffder.
Its Him Again
Striker
I'm pleased I cut down on the drink. Beer fear was every weekend at one stage. Now just a few times a year.
my blood pressure us too high
my cholesterol is too high
my blood sugar is too high
I'm fucked I guess
my blood pressure us too high
my cholesterol is too high
my blood sugar is too high
I'm fucked I guess
deleted user 785
Striker
Chase me
shogun1904
Striker
Nor.
deleted user 785
Striker
Why are you being so mean?
shogun1904
Striker
Because you're my bitch and you love it.
never a problem.. alwasys manage to get the beer scooter home
THE BEER SCOOTER REVEALED
This story explains a lot of things...
How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night
drinking
and thought 'How on earth did I get home?'
As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from
the
pub to your house.
The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.
The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to
the
drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large
batch
of these magical devices.
The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion:
The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring
gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many
sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer
Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their
bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a
large
portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.
This answers the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so
much
money?' Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are
thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified
Drinking
Injuries).
An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time
segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals
dictates
that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This answers a third
question after a night out 'What the hell happened?'
With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of
Embarrassing
Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending
order,
those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT is
not
necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained
in
discussions over a period of time.
Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the
scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger
to the
wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences.
With recent models including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a
scooter
drive-thru chain specializing in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts.
Another
question answered!!
For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked
from
other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These
boots
are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up
the
stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity
springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS
(Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.
The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the
TAS
(Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can
apparently get
through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.
Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get
home
from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.
THE BEER SCOOTER REVEALED
This story explains a lot of things...
How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night
drinking
and thought 'How on earth did I get home?'
As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from
the
pub to your house.
The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.
The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to
the
drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large
batch
of these magical devices.
The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion:
The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring
gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many
sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer
Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their
bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a
large
portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.
This answers the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so
much
money?' Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are
thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified
Drinking
Injuries).
An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time
segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals
dictates
that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This answers a third
question after a night out 'What the hell happened?'
With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of
Embarrassing
Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending
order,
those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT is
not
necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained
in
discussions over a period of time.
Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the
scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger
to the
wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences.
With recent models including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a
scooter
drive-thru chain specializing in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts.
Another
question answered!!
For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked
from
other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These
boots
are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up
the
stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity
springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS
(Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.
The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the
TAS
(Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can
apparently get
through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.
Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get
home
from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.
Thor.
typed it all by hand... how dare you..
The Legendary Tongue
Striker
Impending doom
As if you would be gogin to do summat like that.
- Status
