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Becoming a dad


Goat Eyes said:
It’s an absolute joy and a piece of piss when they’re babies. Don’t fret.
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This is true, it’s when they get over 2 then the hard work begins
Seaham Towny said:
First one due in early May.

Any advice?

Currently flitting between joy and crippling fear and have been the last few months.

Piss takes are welcome, feel free.
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All normal,once the baby arrives you’ll be unsure of yourself at first but after a few weeks becomes second nature, best thing that ever happened to me
 
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You’ll never feel ready but you’ll manage straight away. I was always uncomfortable holding babies until our first arrived
 
As soon as they can speak it’s like a never ending game of ‘would I lie to you’.

In a way that’s why my favourite is the thick one I have. He’s too thick to lie. Bless him.
 
Charmless Man said:
I’m lying here unable to sleep because I can hear my daughter teetering on the edge of waking up wanting a feed. My wife is fast asleep and blissfully unaware :lol:

Trying to be majority breast fed so sounds like a her problem :lol:
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@Seaham Towny breaatfeeding is a great thing I’m sure but if it’s not working for the two of you don’t be afraid to change it up

We gave up after a few weeks as it was just an absolute stress and massive ballache for her and the bairn

The internet mams are very cult like about it as well so that was canny as she felt shan as fuck

But it was class as soon as we got him on kendamil
beverly macca said:
As soon as they can speak it’s like a never ending game of ‘would I lie to you’.

In a way that’s why my favourite is the thick one I have. He’s too thick to lie. Bless him.
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Aye the newborn sleep pattern which feels like torture at it’s worst which leaves you sometimes at the point of exhaustion is quickly replaced by a different tiredness when you have to make sure they don’t kill themselves when they move and then incessant chatter and questions

Although their crack can be highly entertaining at times
 
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Make sure you have a good support network that can chip in when required. If you and the baby’s mam are together still, then make sure you don’t fall into the trap of just being mam and dad. Having kids can affect relationships, speaking from experience.
 
The first few days are absolutely mental as you start to adjust to it but then you all find your way and what works for you. My only personal advice would be persevering with good routines can be really really difficult but very worth it in the end. Our lad went in his own room at 6 months old and although getting him used to it and settling him was hard he’s slept in his own room comfortably since then and doesn’t spend nights in our bed (unless he’s unwell). Unless exceptional circumstances he goes to bed 6:30/7 every night and sleeps through until 6am no bother but we’ve done the hard nights to get it to that point.

All that being said, you just need to do what works for you and your family and that’s it. Advice is fine but they’re all different and all have different ways of being settled or different needs and different routines. All the best mate, it’s a great ride!

Also remember to make time for you and the Mrs. Getting the baby minded for a few hours or overnight eventually to give yourselves some quality time isn’t bad parenting or lazy it’s essential to make sure you’re both still happy and can be the best parents to the baby.
 
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Take each day as it comes and welcome to a life of worry

However also pride joy and love

Enjoy fella and remember nobody is perfect and we all learn along the way
 
Seaham Towny said:
34

I go out on a Saturday for a pub quiz and a Monday for darts. I wouldn’t say party boy.

8-4, Monday to Friday, WFH 4 days a week

6.5 and she ups my social standing a bit, there are some on here who can attest.

Thanks buddy
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You’ll be fine.

Piece of piss when you wfh.

Get some “Swaddle up” suits from “Love to dream”. Adds a good 2 hours on to average sleep time when they’re babies. Worth every penny.
 
Dedicate your life to being a good parent but remember it doesn’t come with a manual and everyone makes mistakes. Be selfless - someone else is more important than you. Work as hard as you can and love them as much as you can.
 
Seaham Towny said:
I haven’t been allowed to turn on the air fryer since week 3, that has a particular smell apparently. Sickness was awful for her but she’s dealt with it with her usual gusto. Thankfully subsided now.

As for mood swings and hormones, she’s previously been pretty fiery and if anything it’s mellowed her.

I’m calling the pregnancy so far a win.

Oh and the bairn is fine, everything’s fine so far, almost forgot that.
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Glad to hear it. We had one or two worries re: testing for developmental issues but thankfully everything has been ok thus far.
 
If sleep is a really bad issue, I would advise 4 hour stints around the clock. Forget "bedtime" as a concept. You get "breaks" and by the time your shift ends, a 4 hour sleep feels like heaven. Our first would literally only sleep on one of us for the first couple of months so we were forced to do this, but I didn't mind midnight-4am for example as would have her on my chest sleeping while I played Playstation :)
 
Make the most of it while they are young because before you know it they are grown up and flew the nest. Daddy’s little girl will always be Daddy’s little girl. Sons are different to daughters my daughter is so thoughtful whereas the son is the complete opposite. Congratulation's
 
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Congratulations!

I am rubbish at advice, but will give it a try from my own experience:

It will change your life completely, but not from day 1. It'll take a long time for this to happen and it'll be so slow you won't really notice a lot of it, it'll just gradually be a new lifestyle that comes about

Take really good care of your Mrs. Right now she has been through something far more seismic and life changing than you. You kind of don't actually matter so much in the first few days, your value is in being organised and taking care of people, making the hard things a bit easier and making the easy things go away completely. Let her sleep, it's just hugely important. Everything is easier after good sleep and harder with only little sleep.

you'll think your kid is in danger of dying at all times early on. They are not. Think of all the scumbags and shit parents out there, and they didn't kill their baby. You won't either.

your Mrs mental wellbeing is really important in the first few months, and the habits she builds and friendships she makes will last for many years and become more important than you realise now. Getting outside for regular walks and fresh air with the baby are important for both of them, and going to those group activities with other new mums are also very important, even if just for the 1 or 2 friendships she makes. Those other mums at thr groups? They'll be at the school gates for many years, your kid will be invited to their parties and you'll be sitting with them at the school nativity. My daughter is in the last year of senior school, she is friends with a couple of the kids she met when 2 weeks old and we still chat with their parents at the gates etc.

As they get older, being a good parent takes effort. Don't think it will just happen because you are in the same house. Take an interest in their interests, attend things you don't want to attend, think up family things to do regularly, they don't have to be big things, just silly things you do at home together, don't get lazy and let them slip. When they are gone, they are gone.

Stuff beyond them being a baby you can worry about when they get older. The only advice around that would be that mobile phones are the worst thing ever. They ruin everything. Hold off on them having one for as long as possible, and control the usage hours tightly when they do get one.
 
Billy2Sheds said:
Don’t stop that .

But your life will change you have something that’s part of you forever that you need to provide for and protect.

If you can don’t take any paternity leave immediately after the birth - do it at 6-12 months. Babies do nowt at first !!

Also plough your own track.. every kid is different but they enhance your life so still be you, still go out on the hoy, go to the match etc.

But also be there for the mam. More thanWe realise get some form of PND thought to be increasing due to the insta /FB perfect culture.

Above all enjoy it mate - as overwhelming as it might seem humans have been doing this for centuries and there bit a right or wrong answer. We’re all just doing our best , like our mams n dads and theirs and theirs …
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I think paternity is important to do straight away otherwise leaving a tired and in pain mother to do it all
 
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