ISOE II
Winger
You’ll be fine.
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Becoming a dad
- Thread starter Seaham Towny
- Start date
Charmless Man
Striker
Nah mine’s just at a developmental stage where if they’re going to cry, then they’re really going to cry.
Been learning to ignore (to an extent), and let her tire herself out which normally happens in a few minutes, a start up of crying, another settle, another start up then a final settle.
Then you learn that pattern and it changes next week
Just feels shit when you think you’re doing something nice for them then they get upset about something else
. Apparently most of the extra stuff other than keeping them alive and growing doesn’t matter until like 6 months.
gizmoganzee
Striker
All flies by before you know it!
Bob Fleming
Striker
Don't listen to anyone who says it's a piece of piss. It can be really hard for some. But, you don't know in advance. But don't worry. It will just come to you. You will know what to do for the most part. Pitch in and enjoy it as best you can. The good bits are the best you will ever know.
42
Striker
Is it their first grandkid?
Ours is my parents only only one (my mam has been badgering me for grandkids for years), and my mam properly dotes on the bairn.
Her parents have loads so dont get as much attention from them
Kent_Mackem
Striker
Firstly congratulations.
I didn't want children for ages because of the horrible world they will inherit from our generation.
However I agreed to go for it and I have two boys currently 13 and 15 that I absolutely adore of the scale.
There are, of course, ups and downs but the whole journey so far, fortunately, has been incredibly positive. Inspiring and teaching your own child(ren): whether that is football, academic work, cooking, ideas for the future, reading to them, encouraging them to read themselves, talking with them, even just planting fruit and veg with them (the list is endless) is the most amazing and magical thing in the world.
The golden rules for me: Set boundaries, be consistent but fair and always put them first.
You'll absolutely love it I'm sure.
Seaham Towny
Striker
42
Striker
First one on both sides mate.
I’m confident both sets will suddenly have McDonalds and ice cream van money now
Get spoilt from both sides.
Seaham Towny
Striker
When I think of the bold bit that’s the joy bit.
Your second paragraph is the fear.
Appreciate the post fella
Charmless Man
Striker
Set boundaries in terms of visits to you when the bairn arrives (and don’t go out of your way to visit anyone).
People are excited but it can be proper hard on the mother in those first few weeks. Everything on your terms and when it works for you. Family is important but so is your time together. Most people instinctively get this but some people have proper main character syndrome and don’t understand them having a hold of the bairn isn’t top of your list (thinking specifically of one of my lasses relatives).
You’ll have enough on your plate in terms of midwife / health visitor visits, hospital / GP appointments and all the rest of it to prioritise second cousins twice removed coming round.
People are excited but it can be proper hard on the mother in those first few weeks. Everything on your terms and when it works for you. Family is important but so is your time together. Most people instinctively get this but some people have proper main character syndrome and don’t understand them having a hold of the bairn isn’t top of your list (thinking specifically of one of my lasses relatives).
You’ll have enough on your plate in terms of midwife / health visitor visits, hospital / GP appointments and all the rest of it to prioritise second cousins twice removed coming round.
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Seaham Towny
Striker
I’m confident that this won’t happen but you never know.
As people can probably tell given my responses to the posts on here. I’ve thought and re-thought a lot of future scenarios.
The thread has genuinely helped me a lot so far though. This post included. Glad I posted it.
Charmless Man
Striker
I’m lying here unable to sleep because I can hear my daughter teetering on the edge of waking up wanting a feed. My wife is fast asleep and blissfully unaware
Trying to be majority breast fed so sounds like a her problem
MigsGoalKicks
Midfield
Sure I’ve mentioned it previously but I had my first kid at the age off 22. Wasn’t ready at all. Too immature. Had my 2nd when I was 30 and I’ve absolutely loved every second of it. Every kid is different just go with the flow. Be involved as much as you can. Fist month or 2 is mental, you’re in a bubble. Sleep when they do if you have too. The dishes can wait to be washed etc. Then you get a bit of normality. I’d say toddler is a harder stage than having a baby. But once they’re at school/nursey you get your life back a bit. Definitely vouch for the person who said get the kid used to sleeping out. We never got the chance and my youngest kicks off everytime she has too.
Billy2Sheds
Winger
Don’t stop that .
But your life will change you have something that’s part of you forever that you need to provide for and protect.
If you can don’t take any paternity leave immediately after the birth - do it at 6-12 months. Babies do nowt at first !!
Also plough your own track.. every kid is different but they enhance your life so still be you, still go out on the hoy, go to the match etc.
But also be there for the mam. More thanWe realise get some form of PND thought to be increasing due to the insta /FB perfect culture.
Above all enjoy it mate - as overwhelming as it might seem humans have been doing this for centuries and there bit a right or wrong answer. We’re all just doing our best , like our mams n dads and theirs and theirs …
42
Striker
The setting boundaries can be the difficult one. Owa lass is dead soft, and gives in too easily.
When it comes to sleep, the health visitors tell you to let them cry in their own bed and don't let them into your own bed. So when they start crying to be in your bed, it's hard to just let them cry. We haven't, I say 'we', but I'm not talking blame on that one
, so have made a rod for our own backs so to speak. Sometimes you need to take a tough love approach for your own good. It is difficult seeing your baby getting upset like that.I’m lying here unable to sleep because I can hear my daughter teetering on the edge of waking up wanting a feed. My wife is fast asleep and blissfully unaware
Trying to be majority breast fed so sounds like a her problem
I have to say I have previously pretended to be asleep a couple of times just so I didn't have get up
In my defence, I had work & she was on maternity leave
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Charmless Man
Striker
The setting boundaries can be the difficult one. Owa lass is dead soft, and gives in too easily.
When it comes to sleep, the health visitors tell you to let them cry in their own bed and don't let them into your own bed. So when they start crying to be in your bed, it's hard to just let them cry. We haven't, I say 'we', but I'm not talking blame on that one
I have to say I have previously pretended to be asleep a couple of times just so I didn't have get up
In my defence, I had work & she was on maternity leave
Guess what… I’m now sat with a bottle of expressed milk
Chubbs
Midfield
The only stupid question is the one you don't ask and then fret about, be that at the doctors, hospital, midwife. Whatever it may be.
My Dad said I used to do that but fortunately my son was better behaved.
steadybreeze
Winger
Good luck with that one
